


Strike Gold Along This Shore

by die_traumerei



Series: The Triple Point [1]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, BDSM Scene, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Peggy Carter, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Canon Disabled Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Genderfluid Bucky Barnes, Genderfluid Character, Happy Ending, Heavy Petting, Humor, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Pain Kink, Past Peggy Carter/Angie Martinelli, Pegging, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Praise Kink, Slow Burn, Spanking, Threesome - F/M/M, cameo appearances from canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-03-24 21:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 71,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3784861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/die_traumerei/pseuds/die_traumerei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky Barnes literally falls onto Peggy Carter, he doesn't expect to get taken home and bandaged up. And he really doesn't expect her to have a super-hot, super-kind husband.</p><p>He really *really* doesn't expect to fall in love, but he does.</p><p>To be fair, they weren't expecting to fall in love back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You guys, this is so much fun to write. I was originally going to wait until I had it all done to start posting but A) that might be awhile and B) I hunger for your love. Or kudos, bookmarks and comments, they're all pretty much one and the same. In general, I'm planning to post one to two times a week, depending on how busy I am. I've got the first third fully written, and the second and third parts roughly outlined and somewhat done (measuring by story beats, not word count). So I shouldn't need to take any long breaks.
> 
> As always, I am on Tumblr at dietraumerei.tumblr.com.
> 
> By the by, the title is from Garnet Rogers' Next Turn of the Wheel.
> 
>  
> 
> A quick note on Bucky's gender identity:
> 
> This 'verse's Bucky is occasionally non-binary, generally identifying as male, but sometimes as NB as the mood takes them. The pronouns used changed with the character's self-conception; when Bucky is male he/him is used, and when they're NB, they/them are used.

“Honey, where's the first aid kit?”

“Behind the front desk – wait, _what_?” Steve spun around frowning, his face only slightly relaxing when he saw Peggy unharmed but towing a limping, sheepish-looking guy behind her. “Shit, everything okay?”

“Yes!”

“No!” Peggy glared at the guy and pointed to the sofa that made up the waiting area of Steve's shop. “Sit.”

“I'm really okay,” the guy said, shooting Steve a pleading look. Steve ignored it, and dug out the big plastic case himself. “ _Really_.”

“You took a tumble that would have made Buster Keaton weep with envy,” Peggy informed him. “Icepack, ace bandage, and alcohol wipes please, Steve.”

Steve, not being dumb, placed the requested items in Peggy's outstretched hand.

The guy tried the pleading look again. Good grief, he was _adorable_. “I'm so sorry, she insisted...”

“It's okay,” Steve assured him, and pulled a wooden crate over to sit on. Peggy had manhandled the guy into turning sideways on the sofa, and was loosening the laces on his left boot. “What happened?”

The other man rolled his eyes and went to shove his hair out of his face – stopping, Steve noticed, when he saw the bloody scrapes on the palm of his hand. “ Fuck. Um. Seriously, I just tripped and fell, it's nothing.”

“He was walking along the edge of that horrible new fountain and slipped and landed practically in my lap,” Peggy informed Steve. She had gotten the boot off and pulled the guy's sock down, frowning at his ankle before she settled the icepack on it. “This is sprained.”

“Twisted,” the guy corrected, turning an absolutely beautiful shade of red. “And. Uh. Yeah, that about covers it. You really, really don't have to do this...”

“We really, really don't mind,” Steve said, and reached for the guy's right hand, uncurling it and opening an alcohol wipe. “Sorry, this is gonna sting.”

“S'okay,” he assured Steve, and he didn't even wince as he wiped the blood and grit off.

“Other hand,” Steve said, and wondered why the guy started laughing – until he reached out, and Steve could see clearly that his hand was metal, beautiful, articulated, and obviously a prosthetic. “Oh. Heh. I'm sorry. Guess this one's okay.”

“It's all right,” the guy said, and he smiled he was _really adorable_. “I'm Bucky, by the way.”

“Steve. And your rescuer is Peggy.” Steve craned his head over and checked Bucky's ankle himself. “And you're not leaving until that swelling goes down.”

“Dude, no,” Bucky protested. “You've got a business to run, and you damn well don't need me taking up half the shop --”

“You're staying,” Peggy informed him as Steve simultaneously assured him that the shop didn't open for another two hours.

“You could try arguing with us,” Steve offered, “But I promise, you'd lose.”

Bucky's eyes narrowed, but he was smiling. “Really? I'm pretty stubborn.”

Steve just crossed his arms and stared him down.

“Give it up now,” Peggy advised. “And how do you take your coffee?”

“Black – wait, no! Peggy, no, don't, I'm fine, just...don't let me take up any more of your time,” Bucky said, holding out his hand, pleading.

“That's two black coffees, Peg, plus whatever you want,” Steve said serenely. “My wallet's in my back pocket. Seriously, dude, don't even try to argue with us,” he advised, and reached for Bucky's right hand, frowning when he saw it was still seeping blood. “Hey, bring me the gauze when you're up, Pegs?”

“Bucky,” Peggy said, her voice softening for practically the first time since she'd wrestled Bucky onto the sofa. “You're not imposing, or taking us away from anything else, or anything like that. I promise. Now let Steve bandage your hand, and drink your coffee, and when your ankle looks better we'll release you back into the wild,” she ended sweetly.

Bucky relaxed a little. “If you're absolutely sure...”

“I'm sure, I'm sure!” Steve said, and Peggy fished the wallet out of his jeans pocket. They kissed quickly, and she left after tossing the gauze to Steve, who caught it easily.

“Sorry. We're both a little strong-willed,” Steve admitted, carefully wrapping Bucky's hand. “Um. We're not keeping you from anything, are we?”

“Steve, Peggy found me when I was seeing if I could balance on the edge of a fountain,” Bucky said dryly. “I'm not exactly racing off to work.”

Steve laughed, and tied off the ends of the bandage neatly. “Good. Hey, lie back,” he encouraged, and lifted Bucky's leg, icepack and all, to rest on the back of the sofa. “Anything else I should know about?"

Bucky shook his head, smiling up at Steve. “Thank you. I don't live far, I could've gotten home, but...thank you.”

“Hey, no problem,” Steve said, and settled down again on the wooden crate. “Seriously. Um. I'm sorry it had to be under these conditions, but it's always nice to meet someone from the neighborhood.”

Bucky grinned, rakish and lovely. “Likewise. So. You run  the tattoo shop?”

“Uh huh. Well, really, I do the tattoos and Peggy runs the business.” Steve smiled, and didn't care _too_ much that he probably went all sappy. “She's so much better than one crappy little shop, but I'd be shit at running it by myself, so...”

“Hey, it's an awesome little shop,” Bucky protested. “Seriously. ”

Steve beamed. “Thanks. We make a pretty good team. Um. So what do you do?”

“I'm a programmer. Mostly dealing with security stuff,” Bucky explained. “Really, it means I spend way too much time staring at a computer screen.”

“That's really cool, though,” Steve said. “You work around here?”

Bucky nodded. “I work from home most of the week. I'm lucky actually; my sleep gets fucked up sometimes so it's nice to be able to work when I want and oh my  _God_ you cannot possibly want to know that, I'm so sorry,” he said, physically covering his mouth with his hand. “Fuck.”

Steve laughed and shook his head. “It's fine. I'm glad you found something that works for you. And hey – you're always welcome to drop by and say hi. I'm usually pretty busy, but Peggy's always up for a cup of tea and cookie. And I can take five between customers.”

Bucky smiled back, shy and sweet. “Thanks. It gets a little lonely sometimes.”

“Well, you're always welcome here,” Steve said, looking up when Peggy let herself back into the shop, holding a tray with three take-out coffees and a bag of something that smelled _amazing_. “Ooooh, did they have the cinnamon buns?”

“Last three,” Peggy gloated, sharing them around and silencing Bucky with a look before he could even _begin_ to protest. “ We win.”

“We have a long-running competition with the florist across the street to see who can get the last cinnamon buns before the cafe runs out,” Steve explained. “We're winning.”

“ _We're_ Coulson's favorites,” Peggy said gleefully, handing around the coffee and treats.

“Technically, _I_ am his favorite,” Steve informed her. “He just knows you're a good route to me.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling,” Peggy cooed, and took a sip of her coffee.

' _Favorite_ ' Steve mouthed to Bucky, pointing at himself, and Bucky at least tried to not give him away, but couldn't help laughing.

“Eat,” Peggy said, and Bucky ate and drank, falling into comfortable silence as Peggy reminded Steve of one or two things that absolutely needed to get done that day.

After half an hour, Steve checked Bucky's ankle and removed the ice pack, but chided him to still keep it elevated. “Can't have you getting frostbit,” he explained, tossing it away. “But still a little swollen.”

“I promise, it's only a five minute walk home,” Bucky said, but subsided at Steve and Peggy's looks.

“And I promise, you're not any trouble. Nice to have someone new to talk to,” Steve said, stretching his legs out.

“Nice to not be icing Steve for once,” Peggy called from the back room where she'd gone to fetch some paperwork so she could work and chat at the same time.

Steve blushed when Bucky turned a questioning eyebrow to him. “Um. I. Have been known to get in a fight or two in my time,” he admitted. “I don't start them!” he rushed to assure Bucky. “Just...I hate bullies, you know? And people can be such assholes and.” He shrugged and scratched the back of his neck. “I don't think might makes right or anything like that, but I'm bigger than most people, and stronger too. And if someone's going around picking on someone else, I can get 'em to stop.”

Bucky's smile started when Steve said he hated bullies, and only grew. “That's really great, Steve. Honestly, it really is. Just...didn't you ever learn to  _duck_ ?”

Steve blushed and ran a hand through his hair, making the rough blond quiff stand on end. “No.”

“He never learned when to stop fighting either,” Peggy said, joining them again, sitting comfortably on the end of the sofa and putting her feet up on Steve's lap.

Bucky sighed, and rolled his eyes. “Peggy, you're a saint.”

“I know,” she said smoothly. “Steve, he's found you out already.”

Steve laughed, and held up his hands. “I can't help it! If I don't do it, though, who will?”

Bucky's smile was a sight to behold. “You've got a point, but I'm still gonna teach you how to duck.”

“You...box?” Steve hazarded, and Bucky nodded.

“Kind of,” he admitted, and pointed to his left arm. “I have to be careful with this, but as long as I don't actually spar, I'm okay.” He smiled at them both. “And because you're way too polite to ask, the answers are, in probable order, when I was fifteen and bone cancer, and yes I'm officially cured. And yes, I read _The Fault in Our Stars_ and bawled my eyes out.”

Steve breathed carefully.  _Cured_ . He held onto that, while Peggy expressed a quiet thanks, and that she was glad he was okay now.

“So, yeah. Teach me how to duck. When you're all healed up,” Steve managed to contribute.

“Whatever, dude.” Bucky rolled his eyes but let Steve put a fresh ice pack on his ankle. 

They talked of idle things until Bucky had been lying there over an hour, and Steve deemed him in acceptable shape to walk home, if he promised to text one of them in case he needed absolutely anything at all.

“You know I've lived on my own – much of that with _one arm_ –  for years, right?” Bucky pointed out while Steve strapped his ankle up.

“That's nice. You have both our numbers and the shop's number, right?”

“You guys have a future as the nicest kidnappers in the world, you know that, right?” Bucky said, mimicking Steve's tone.

“ _Call_. Anything. We live just upstairs, nothing is any trouble, keep your foot up.”

“And I'll say my prayers and go to bed early and go to Mass every Sunday,” Bucky snarked, but he was smiling, and let Steve pull him to his feet. “I'll call if I have even the slightest whim to be fulfilled. I _promise_.”

“Good.” Steve hesitated, and then hugged him. “Hey. It really was great meeting you.”

“You too. I promise I'll come by and say hi again soon,” Bucky said. He turned and hugged Peggy goodbye. “If I had to fall on my ass in front of anyone in the world, I'm glad it was you.”

“Take care of yourself,” she said, but kissed his cheek, and waved him out the door. Steve was pleased to see he was only limping a little, and didn't feel too guilty for letting him leave.

“We're keeping him,” Peggy told him, once Bucky was out of earshot.

“I like him too,” Steve agreed, and leaned over for a soft kiss. “Love you. Thank you for bringing him here.”

Peggy snorted. “Like I was going to leave him there after he practically broke his neck in front of me. I need you reckless assholes where I can see you.”

“And join in when it looks like fun?”

“And join in when it looks like fun.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is one homophobic slur used (quoting someone else) in this chapter.
> 
> And in more fun news -- wow! Thank you guys for the comments, they absolutely cheered me up on a day when I needed it :) Hopefully you'll like this chapter just as much...

Bucky let himself into his apartment and made a beeline for the bed room as he'd promised. (And his ankle did hurt. And his hand. Just...not that badly, really. 

He lay down. And made a small, high-pitched sound and hugged himself because  _Jesus Christ_ he'd just been practically held down by the two most attractive people he had ever seen before in his entire life.  _Ever_ .

Okay, so they were married to each other and there was no guarantee that Steve was even attracted to men, but  _oh my god_ . They were funny and kind and gorgeous and Bucky was in love. Honest. He was completely in love, not one word of that a lie.

_Obviously_ it was a doomed love. Even if Steve liked men and the two of them were poly,  Bucky was a skinny dork who had fallen on his ass in front of the most beautiful woman who ever walked the earth. They would need someone as stunning as they were – someone  _even prettier_ than Bucky himself could be  (which was very pretty when he wasn't falling on his ass) , and he had basically failed at a first impression. Doomed, the mirror crack'd from side to side,  _doomed_ .

Well, at least he had some friends in the neighborhood, now. And, okay, one of them was six foot of solid muscle with red roses tattooed on his throat and a hot blond undercut and stars on his knuckles and the kindest eyes in the world. And the other one was an actual knockout with flowers on her arms and high heels and vintage dresses and he was in  _love_ .

After mentally cataloguing each time one of them had touched him, Bucky shook his head and made himself come back down to earth. Lovely and kind they were, and  _friends_ they would become, and no more. Bucky rolled over and reached for his laptop, figuring he could work just fine in bed, and stay off his foot, and surprise them with coffee and goodies tomorrow.

 

The next morning, about the same time Peggy had first dragged Bucky home, Steve looked up at the little tap on the door and grinned. “Bucky!” He crossed the shop floor quickly and let the other man in. “Should you be up already? How are you? Come sit down.”

Bucky laughed and let Steve usher him over to the sofa. “Yes I should be up, I'm fine, and thank you,” he said, and held out his offering. “Hope you like coffee. And you win the cinnamon bun wars again.”

“Peggy,” Steve called over his shoulder. “Coffee! Also we're adopting Bucky!”

“Ooo, goody,” she said, appearing in a doorway at the back of the shop. It must have lead to their apartment upstairs, considering that Peggy was still barefoot, though otherwise made up to perfection and wearing a pretty gingham dress. “I'll be right through, darlings.”

“We promise to save you something,” Steve mumbled around an absolutely huge mouthful of bun. 

Bucky rolled his eyes, and presented Peggy with her  breakfast when she reappeared, shoes on this time. “Honestly, how did he land you? You can tell me the truth.”

“Eh, I needed American citizenship, and he's the human equivalent of a big, overly-excitable, labrador retriever.” Peggy said, taking a healthy swallow of her coffee. “They're my favorite dog.”

“Pegs, that's not even a _good_ lie,” Steve said.

“Peggy, I'm an American citizen and I love dogs,” Bucky said seriously. “Let me take you away from all of this.”

Peggy laughed, and dug through the bag for the biggest cinnamon bun. “Oh, tempter. Do you always fall onto people and propose the next day?”

“Hasn't worked yet, but I know it will someday,” Bucky said smoothly. “Whaddya say, English? You and me against the world,” he continued, falling into his best imitation of Bogie.

“God, you're cheesy,” Steve said, rolling his eyes. “Keep trying that rockabilly thing and let me know how it works for you.”

“I will have you know that I've been compared to James Dean _many_ times,” Bucky said smugly.

“Favorably?” Peggy asked.

“I choose not to answer that. Go be distracted by the sugar I brought you.” Bucky smiled, sincere for a moment. “Thank you. Both of you.”

“Like I said, it wasn't a problem,” Steve said. “How you doing today?”

“Little sore. Nothing worth worrying about.”

“See that it stays that way,” Peggy said, and kicked her legs up onto the box Steve had taken once again. “How long've you been in the neighborhood anyway?”

“Just a month or two,” Bucky said. “Was living in North Jersey, may God forgive me. I can work from anywhere,” he said with a shrug. “So why not Brooklyn?”

“Glad you made it here,” Steve said, and Bucky bowed his head graciously.

“You been here long?” he asked.

“Thirty years,” Steve said, pointing at himself. “And counting. Five years,” he continued, pointing at Peggy.

“What brought you over?” Bucky asked her, sipping at his coffee far more delicately than the other two. He'd have to be earlier, the next time he brought breakfast.

Peggy shrugged. “Boredom. The economy. I'm from Suffolk, which flat and dull and has nothing. London's too hard to live in now and just...I like it here,” she admitted. “I don't miss England very much. And I met Steve almost as soon as I landed, and we hit it off and...” she smiled at him, and it warmed Bucky to his toes. That kind of love was meant to be appreciated. “Got married three years ago and a bit, now.”

“That's awesome,” Bucky offered softly.

Steve cleared his throat, and tore his eyes away from his wife. “How 'bout you? Got anyone?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Not for awhile, now.” He smiled and shrugged. “Just...didn't have the time.” Also I'm queer as a three-dollar bill in that I like men, women and everything in between, and sometimes I _am_ that in-between. Also I have one arm, which turns off a frankly surprising number of people.

Yeah, fucking doomed, but they'd make awesome friends.

Peggy nodded, and poked him in the leg. “Hey. Thanks, by the way. For breakfast.”

“It's really my pleasure. I live alone and mostly work from home. A little human contact will do me good,” Bucky admitted.

“Come and work here, if you want to,” Peggy offered. “I've got a little office space in the back. At least you'll be around people.”

“I can't impose...”

“You're not,” Steve said firmly.

“Really,” Peggy assured him. “I mostly just see Steve. A little fresh conversation would be nice.”

Bucky's smile grew. “In that case, I'll bring my laptop with me tomorrow.”

 

He did. Bucky still wound up working alone most of the time, set up in a corner of Peggy's little office, but he had regular breaks for tea with one or both of them. And that was how they learned that he had a sister in Queens, while his parents still lived in Shelbyville, Indiana. He himself had lived there until about ten minutes after he graduated high school when he turned his car onto the first road headed east, and kept going until he hit ocean. He learned that Steve was a third generation Brooklynite and that his parents were even now working their way through eternity at Green-Wood Cemetery. He learned that Peggy's father still lived in Suffolk where he cared for her older brother, who had cerebral palsy.

They learned that Bucky was bi, and he learned that Steve was too, but he didn't tell them he was genderqueer. Not just yet. He did tell them about how he'd been selected for a program run by Tony Stark, and that was how he'd gotten a fancy myoelectric prosthetic. He told them a very little bit about having bone cancer, how it had been found and then he'd been in surgery just a few weeks later. Peggy told him about growing up on the North Sea and about going to school in London, and Steve talked about learning to tattoo.

He started to walk over to the shop more days than not, settling in with ridiculous ease. Steve and Peggy were both warm and friendly and funny, and he found himself happier, working a little easier with the two of them weaving around him. He even admitted his deep, dark secret to Steve, one afternoon over cups of tea.

“I have a shitty tattoo, and I wasn't even drunk,” he said. “How much for a cover-up?”

Steve grinned. “For you? Free. What horrible thing do you regret now?”

Bucky sighed and stood up, pulling down the waistband of his jeans to show Steve the blotchy, wonky red star riding on the bony part of his left hip. “I don't regret the idea. Just the execution.”

Steve let out a low whistle and leaned in to look, and Bucky did _not_ think about how his face was right next to Bucky's crotch. Absolutely not. Nor how his breath was warm on his belly. “You may have been sober, but what about the guy who did this?”

“I don't want to know,” Bucky said, and winced, looking down at the stupid blob. “Think you can cover it up?”

“Of course,” Steve said, sitting back. “What do you want?”

“The same. Kind of.” Bucky took a deep breath. “I like the red star. Just...can you make it look like my arm? With the plates fitting together, I mean.”

“Yeah! That would look awesome, Bucky.” Steve grinned and reached for his sketchbook. “Let me do a few sketches and you decide what you like best. I'll have to go a little bigger than what you've got though, okay?”

“Okay. I mean. Great! Thank you!” Bucky flushed, suddenly breathless. “I...just. Thank you.”

Steve looked up for a moment and smiled at him, tender and _oh_ no. No more crushing on guys you can't have, Bucky told himself.

Well, maybe a little crush. A harmless one.

“Buck? Do you mind if I draw your arm?” Steve asked, his voice ridiculously gentle. “I want to get the pattern down, for reference.

“Oh, man, go right ahead,” Bucky assured him, and stretched his arm out, fingertips almost touching Steve's sketchbook. “This okay?”

“Perfect,” Steve said, and he was already distracted, lost in quick glances between Bucky's arm and the page, pencil scratching nicely across the surface.

 

Late spring blossomed in to summer, heavy and hot from the first moment. Bucky took to his odd schedule happily; working from home on the nights he couldn't sleep, then catching a few hours when the insomnia faded. (Peggy found out about it, and made him promise to call if he ever wanted to take a midnight walk; she was a night owl herself, if given the choice.) He went into town when needed, and stayed in Peggy's office when not, and felt he'd done a pretty good job of life.

He was still madly in crush, but what could you do when faced with two of the most attractive people in the world? It was only logical, really.

 

“Hey, you guys busy on Friday?” Bucky asked one Tuesday morning in June, settling down to the day's work.

“Nope, what's up?” Steve asked. He'd taken over a giant old easy chair and was scribbling away. Bucky pretended not to notice that Steve was regularly looking up at him.

“I'm having a party – sort of. At the Rose of Tralee?” he said, naming their local pub.

“Awesome, what's the occasion?”

“Uh. Okay, it's _incredibly_ corny but – okay, my sister has taken to referring to it as Life Day, but everyone thinks of the Star Wars Christmas Special and also that's the _worst_ , but anyway.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “It's the day I was declared cured of cancer. So I like to do something. Just get together with friends, have a few beers, that kinda thing. Becca'll be there, you can finally meet her. Um, if you can make it, obviously. But I'd really like you to be there,” Bucky finished, voice going quiet.

“I...sure. Of course.” Steve cleared his throat. “What time?”

“Seven 'til we fall over?”

Steve laughed, but it sounded fake and plasticky. “Yeah. Yeah, we'll be there, Buck.”

Fuck. Fuck, he should say something, give Steve an out but this was _his day_ , his stupid Life Day and it meant more than his birthday (which traditionally fell on the grossest week in March and was thus traditionally ignored) and he wanted his newest and dearest friends there. He wanted Steve's kindness and Peggy's quiet strength there when he celebrated not being dead, and he wasn't going to take it back. “Good. Hey, Becks is _really_ excited to meet you, by the way.”

“It'll be great to finally meet her, too,” Steve said, and his voice was normal again and Bucky shrugged, figuring it was just a strange, passing moment.

 

That Friday evening Bucky dressed up just a bit, even permitting himself a necklace – it was leather, with a little porcelain charm, so it could pass as pretty masculine if he wanted to play it that way. A v-neck t-shirt, dark jeans and his hair loose around his face finished the look.

“ _Vain_ ,” his sister droned at him.

“ _Pretty_ ,” Bucky droned back. “You're just jealous.”

“Green with it,” she confirmed in the most bored voice she could muster.

“Shut up. My glory shall reflect upon you, like unto the sun's light reflecting off of the moon,” Bucky informed her, and she threw a pillow at him.

Bucky was giggling by the time he threw it back, and the brief sibling fight that followed left them both a little mussed.

“All right, you win!” she yelped when he went in for the tickle/kill. “We gotta get going soon anyway.”

“It's my party, I'll be fashionably late if I want to.”

“God, you've gone bratty in your old age.” Becca paused and smiled at him.

“Sappy moment of the night?” Bucky asked. They were permitted one each per year, to be taken only on this day.

“You're gonna have an old age,” Becca said quietly, and threw herself at her brother, who caught her easily.

“Fuck yeah, I am,” he mumbled into her shoulder. “We're gonna beat each other up for decades to come, Beckster.”

“Fuck you, don't call me that,” she said, and tightened her arms so much Bucky's chest hurt, but no way in hell was he going to tell her to ease off. She'd been there through it all, even more than their parents had in a lot of ways.

“Love you,” he whispered, and she nodded against him, grip slowly loosening.

“C'mon,” she said. “You really don't wanna be late. Also I want to meet your hot friends.”

Bucky groaned. “They're just _friends_.”

“Who are hot.”

“Let's _go_ ,” Bucky said, only a little testily.

 

“Natalia!” Bucky yelled, and practically threw himself across the table when she arrived. “I thought you couldn't make it!”

“I had to assassinate some major figures, but I wasn't gonna miss your Life Day for anything,” she informed him, kissing him hello. On the mouth.

“Erk,” said Bucky.

“God, I love breaking you,” she said smugly. “You okay for drinks? Becca?”

“Bucky is very okay for drinks,” she informed Nat, standing up and reaching around the table for a hug. “Can I have a Blue Moon though?”

“Coming right up,” Nat promised, and dove into the crowd around the bar.

“Do you see them yet?” Becca demanded.

“No. Becks, Steve has roses tattooed on his throat and Peggy'll probably be dressed like Bette Davis, you're really not gonna be able to miss them,” Bucky said patiently. “Sit down, you're like a golden retriever.”

“Did you just compare your flesh and blood _to a dog_?”

“You referred to me as Paperclip for a whole year. Which didn't even make _sense_.”

“It did when you fell asleep and I could magnetize your fingers,” Becca said innocently. “A few minutes with a magnet and some paperclips, a lifetime of memories.”

“How are we related?” Bucky wondered aloud, before a familiar sight caught his eye. “Oh! Hey, guys!” He waved, and Peggy spotted him first, waving back. Her hair cascaded around her face in curling waves that made Bucky actually slightly ill with jealousy, where he wasn't sort of going into blue screen mode over how stunning she was. Peggy was wearing a simple red dress, cut tight in the bodice and flaring out into a wide skirt, and was trailed by a slightly uncomfortable-looking Steve, who looked like he always did. That is, fucking hot. He'd put his hair up in a kind of mohawk, but that was his only concession to the occasion.

Beside him, Bucky's sister called upon a number of saints.

“Shut it,” he warned, elbowing her. “They're married. To each other.”

“We live in an unfair, unkind universe, James Barnes.”

“Behave yourself, _Rebecca_.”

“Hiya,” Peggy sang out, and pulled Bucky into a hug, and kissed his cheek. “Uh, happy Life Day?”

Bucky laughed, and kissed her back. “That's appropriate. I'm so, so glad you guys could make it. Uh, this is my sister, Becca, and my friend Nat should be back soon – ooh, there she is.”

Peggy introduced herself to the girls while Bucky pulled Steve into a hug, kissing his cheek as well. “Hey, thanks for coming.”

“Yeah, of course.” Steve's smile was lacking something, but he hugged Bucky readily enough, so the whole man-affection thing wasn't it. (Besides, Steve was like the _least_ -closeted person ever to exist.) “You want a drink?"

“Nah, I'm set,” Bucky assured him, and Steve ducked back into the crowd after quickly introducing himself to Becca and Nat. Peggy had tucked herself on the church pew that made up a quarter of the booth, and quickly fell into a quiet, intense-looking conversation with Nat.

Reviewing what he knew of both women, Bucky wondered for a moment if he should be afraid, but figured that they would both take a 'firm, but fair' attitude when they ruled the world.

A few of Bucky's friends from Jersey had promised to stop by later, so it was just the five of them for the first hour or so. _Of course_ the conversation quickly turned to dating, because Bucky would not be spared embarrassment on even this, his happiest day of the year.

“Ugh, no, taking a break,” Becca declared. “I'm tired of pretty women breaking my heart.”

Bucky turned to her and frowned. “Wait, what? I though you and Kate had parted on okay terms?”

“Well, we didn't have a screaming fight or anything,” Becca said. “But it wasn't great, you know?”

“ _No_ , I _didn't_.” Bucky crossed his arms across his chest. “You shoulda told me. I _never_ get to go all bodyguard-big-brother on people.”

“That would be why I didn't tell you,” Becca said dryly. “Also you were in the middle of moving, you had enough to worry about.”

“Fuck sake, I can answer some text messages,” Bucky grumbled, and poked her in the side. “Besides, we gotta get even after you socked Billy Nichols in the face when you were twelve.”

“Oh, this is going be delightful,” Peggy said, face brightening.

“He dated Bucky for three months, then decided he wasn't, and I quote, 'a fag',” Becca said, taking an identical pose to her brother. “Of course I punched his stupid face. Several times.”

“All of Becca's drinks are on me tonight,” Peggy said, delighted, and even Steve – who had been suspiciously quiet all night – brightened and nodded.

“Damn straight,” he said, and fist-bumped Becca. “Uh, so to speak.”

Bucky sighed. “Nat, change of subject?”

“Oh no, I wanna hear about you,” she said, perhaps a little too gleefully.

“I have a warm and tender relationship with my work,” Bucky informed her. “Next topic.”

“I can only assume you're both secretly celebrating never having to deal with dating again,” Becca said to Steve and Peggy.

Peggy nodded eagerly. “Honestly, I hated it, and – I'm really sorry, but if I never hear someone squee over my accent again, it'll be too soon. It got ridiculous for awhile there.”

Steve shrugged. “It was fun, but yeah. Marriage is actually pretty awesome, turns out,” he said.

“You wouldn't consider going poly?” Bucky blurted out, because he was drunk and a moron. Well, tipsy. And curious.

Peggy shook her head. “Not for me, I'm afraid.”

“Not for me if it's not for her,” Steve confirmed, and smiled at Bucky, for practically the first time all evening. “You?”

“Yeah. I mean, I'd think about it, at least,” Bucky said, and shrugged. “All theoretical anyway.”

“Aw, c'mon, someone'll grab you up any minute,” Steve said. “Uh. Assuming you want to be grabbed.”

“Wouldn't say no,” Bucky said softly, and _definitely_ wouldn't say no to a certain tall, blond bombshell of a man. Or a certain brunette lady. “Ugh. Next topic, _please_?”

“Wa-hey it's Bucky Barnes and he aten't dead!”

Bucky leaned over and gently rested his forehead on the table, only slightly deafened from the greeting that was boomed across the entire bar. “Hello, _Timothy_.”

“Dugan!” Nat yelled, and practically vaulted over the table in her rush to get the huge man into a headlock. “How the hell are you?”

Bucky assumed that the rest of the gang was behind Dum-Dum, but he needed a moment in the quiet embrace of the sticky tabletop.

“Friends of yours?” Peggy asked his prone form.

“How ever did you guess?” Bucky pried himself up and stood up to hug everyone, genuinely touched that they could all make it. Even Dernier had flown home a few days early, and it meant more than Bucky could say.

Dum-Dum thundered off to the bar to buy a round as everyone got settled and introduced themselves or got reacquainted with whoever they already knew. (Becca gave up and let herself effectively be passed around the table to hug everyone hello, and had the grace to blush when she actually got dumped in Steve's lap.)

“Right, time for a toast,” Falsworth announced when the latest round got there. “Charge your glasses and be upstanding, please. Twelve years ago, Bucky got the news no one ever wants to get. Seven years ago, we _all_ got the best news of the year. To life!”

“To life!” Bucky yelled and raised his glass and he'd won he'd _beaten_ it. Cancer got his arm, but he had the rest of himself, and the rest of his life, and his friends and family all around him, and he took his sappy moment of the year to wrap his arm around his sister's shoulders and drink deep, daring the universe to fuck him over again.

Nat hugged him as soon as he put his glass down. He had met her exactly seven years ago, on a night out much like this one, and they had quickly adopted each other as close friends. Lovers for a little while, then friends again, best that way.

“Hey, where'd Steve go?” Becca asked, looking around.

“Oh, shit,” Peggy said, and leaned over to kiss Bucky's cheek. “He's probably outside. Sorry, it's...a long story.”

Bucky frowned and nodded slowly. “Okay...”

Peggy sighed. “If I'm not back in a minute or two – shit, I'm sorry. Have an awesome rest of the night, okay?”

“Uh. Okay?”

Peggy pushed out through the crowed, and Becca made to follow her, but Bucky stopped her. “No. I mean, thanks but...” He breathed deep. Fuck, it was just a party. Okay, it was more than a party, but still. As far as Steve knew, it was just a party. Except for the part where Bucky had said, over and over, how much this night meant to him.

Fuck it. Bucky finished his drink and nodded when Morita caught his eye – another'd be waiting for him when he got back. He shoved his way out of the crowded bar and rounded the corner – and yeah, there was Steve sat on the curb, Peggy crouching beside him.

“Hey,” he said, and walked over, ignoring the sharp look Peggy sent him. “What's wrong, Stevie?”

Steve looked up, and he'd clearly been crying. “Nothing. Sorry. Go back inside.”

“Oh, no,” Bucky said softly, and knelt in front of Steve, resting his hands on Steve's biceps and rubbing lightly. “What is it, honey?”

“I'm really sorry, Buck. I can't...do this.” Steve grimaced and looked away. “I'm really happy you're cured,” he said shortly. “My mother wasn't and it's just...too much. I'm sorry.”

Bucky rocked back on his heels and blinked. “I'm so sorry about your mother,” he said carefully. “That must have been horrible.”

“Yes.”

“Honey, I'm sorry but...I don't get it,” Bucky sighed. “I'm right here. Can't you be happy for me?”

“Yes, of course, Jesus _Christ_ it's not like I want you to die,” Steve snapped. “I just can't fucking take all this 'to life' stuff, okay? Not everyone gets to live!”

“My God, I didn't realize,” Bucky snapped back. “I didn't spend months in and out of the hospital and then _years_ getting regular tests to make sure I wasn't about to die quickly and horribly. I never saw friends die, I had _no idea.”_

Steve glared at him, and even Peggy gave him a look.

“I didn't die. Am I not allowed to be happy about that?” Bucky continued. “It's _one day_ , Steve, one day that I get to remember and celebrate. And I want the people I care about most around me, for these _few hours_. You seriously can't handle that?”

Steve met his eyes from under a pouf of blond hair, where his quiff had gone wonky. “No, I really can't. And you can't understand why.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I'm sorry. I'm _so sorry_ you lost your mother. And I'm fucking sorry you can't see past the end of your own nose to be happy for another human being on this earth.” He stood up and turned on his heel. “See you guys around. Don't feel you have to come back. Wouldn't want to make your life harder.”

The roar of the bar was welcome, mixing with the adrenaline that flooded his system, and he grabbed his drink out of Morita's hands, toasting...basically everyone within his eyeline. Tonight was about celebrating, and being alive, and fuck Steve if he couldn't deal with that.

Becca took one look at him and didn't ask and the rest of the night – was okay, actually. He caught up with his friends, and they drank until closing and Bucky dipped Nat when he kissed her goodnight and then got dipped by Dugan and received the beeriest, least-skillful kiss of his life. He and Becca walked back to his apartment under a warm summer sky, and he smiled up at...okay, there weren't stars, but the glow of the light pollution was actually kind of nice.

“Everything okay with Steve?”

“Nope.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“Nope.”

“Okay.” Becca nudged him with her shoulder, and he nudged back, and then they were chasing each other through the empty (well, emptier) streets until he was home, home in a new city, home in a new place and alive and everything was good. Really, it was; any crush he'd had on Steve had now cooled considerably, and Peggy had made it clear that she wasn't going to be looking outside of her marriage for companionship and...well, fuck. They'd make up or they wouldn't.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter to go up in a few days, Saturday or Sunday depending on how busy I am.
> 
> As ever, I am on Tumblr at dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky woke up with the pleasantest edition of a hangover it is possible to get – not sick, just lazy; content to while the day away with take-out and endless cups of coffee and watching whole seasons on Netflix.

Becca had crashed the night on his sofa and left after breakfast, promising to meet for dinner later that week. Bucky, who had planned ahead, crawled into bed with a bag of tortilla chips the size of his entire torso and a jar of the most ridiculous cheese dip he could find.

And then his fucking cell phone started blinking.

_Hey, you free today? It can wait if you're hungover_ , from Peggy.

_Not that hungover, what's up?_ he typed back

_Can you meet us at the park at 12:30? We'll bring lunch._

_Yeah. Why?_

_Because Steve's a dick, but he's a dick who feels bad about last night._

Bucky frowned at that. And wasn't entirely sure if it was because Steve felt bad about, well, anything, or because _now_ the guy regretted how he behaved? Possibly Bucky needed more coffee.

_I wasn't, like, planning on never speaking to you guys again y'know_

_which is a fuckign sight better than we deserve_

Oh, hey, no. There was no need for that

_Peggy, no_ he typed quickly

_Just be there? Please?_

_Yeah. Should I bring anything?_

_A two by four? Nah, just yourself, please._

Bucky laughed a little, and sent an acknowledgement. Then he gazed sadly at his family-sized bag of unhealthy snacks, and went to shower and get dressed properly for the day ahead.

 

He found them quickly in their little local park (home of what he had privately begun to refer to as the Death Fountain). They'd spread a blanket underneath a big sycamore tree, and had an honest-to-God wicker basket holding down one corner.

Steve was very clearly trying to hide behind the basket, which was far more charming than it had any right to be. Bucky reminded himself that Steve had pulled an asshole move the night before, no matter how sweet and sad he looked in the moment.

“Hey guys,” he said cautiously, kneeling on the edge of the blanket. “Thanks for lunch.”

“No problem,” Steve mumbled, and Bucky's heart broke, just a little.

“Oh, honey.” He crawled across the fabric, not caring how graceless he was, and settled next to Steve. “Hey, you.”

“'m sorry. I was a douche.”

“Yeah, you kinda were,” Bucky admitted. “But...I mean, it'll be all right. Steve, I'm not even angry,” he said carefully, trying to catalogue how he felt. “Sad, more than anything else. That night means a lot to me. But, if you can't, you can't. I don't understand it,” he said quietly. “I really don't. But I'm not gonna carry a grudge about it either.”

Steve swiped at his eyes. “I'm sorry. I just...Mom was everything to me. She raised me alone, y'know? And I was not an easy kid to raise alone. Or with help, for that matter. And...it wasn't quick, with her,” he said, staring at the ground. “It wasn't good, and it wasn't quick, and I miss her every day.”

“Oh, _Steve_.” Bucky wrapped his arms around the big man, who suddenly seemed not quite so very big. “I'm so sorry, honey.”

Steve laughed, a little wet around the eyes now. “It was years ago...”

“Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.” Bucky hugged him tighter.

“Yeah, but it's stupid that it's making me hurt _other people_ ,” Steve said miserably. “Bucky, the things I said to you...”

“Forgiven.”

“Also, not fucking fair.” Steve sighed, and pulled away a little, resting his head on his arms. “I don't know if I'll ever be okay with...with a night like that. Is that okay?”

“Steve, for fuck's sake, I'm not gonna make that a condition of our friendship!” Bucky sat back, huffing in frustration. “Christ, we've made it this big thing, and it's dumb. Maybe I've made it too big a thing.”

“Maybe you're both being bloody drama queens,” Peggy said. “Steve usually is, after all.”

“Peg, _don't_.”

“Peg, yes,” she said firmly, and reached over, lifting her husband's chin in her hand. “Steve, your Mum died years ago. It's not a betrayal of her if you let yourself heal a little. Even just to the point where you can raise a glass and toast being alive.”

Steve stilled, and closed his eyes. “I'm kind of fucked up, aren't I?”

“Welcome to being an adult,” Bucky offered.

Steve bit his lip. “I'm sorry.”

“It'll be okay,” Bucky said softly. “I'm just a little tender, around this time.”

“And apparently I'm _always_ a little tender,” Steve said, scowling.

“Hey, now,” Peggy said. “That's what I fell in love with.” She sat back, red-faced, clearly not used to such declarations.

“Sorry,” Steve mumbled, and shook his head. “Fuck. How you two put up with me...”

“Oh, shut up. God, you are dramatic.” Bucky rubbed Steve's back gently, skin warm through the cotton button-down he wore. “Look, I'm okay with you, if you're okay with me.”

“What? Yes, of course.” Steve looked up at him, puzzled. “You didn't do anything wrong.”

“Other than get drunk and yell at you. Deservedly or not, that's not how I should treat anyone I...care about,” Bucky said carefully. “I'm sorry.”

Steve leaned in a little, his head resting on Bucky's left shoulder, which could not have been remotely comfortable. “I'm sorry too. And...shit. Peggy's right. I should...do something. About how I feel. About Mom's dying.”

“I'll help in any way I can,” Bucky promised, and turned to hug Steve again. The man was like a giant teddy bear, honestly. “She must have loved you so much.”

“Thanks,” Steve mumbled, and hugged Bucky back. “Can we leave it for now, though?”

“Of course.” Bucky ruffled his hair, then sat back, a decent distance between them again. “What's for lunch, anyway?”

They had brought a small feast of sandwiches, scones, and plenty of cake. (“I tried to bring a flask of tea, but Steve said no,” Peggy informed him mournfully. Bucky petted her on the shoulder.) It was a gorgeous summer day, just on the right side of August heat, and they ate their fill in their shady little nook. The park was small and hidden away, and therefore not too crowded – which Bucky took advantage of to go practice hand-stands in the summer sun.

Steve and Peggy quickly joined in, tumbling and laughing and all three of them chasing each other around. Steve proved remarkably good at tumbling especially, meeting Bucky's handstands with a series of perfect cartwheels that were appropriately applauded.

At one point Bucky found himself lying on his back, legs up in the air and Peggy balanced on them, her stomach resting on his feet. He held her hands to pull her up and then she insisted he let go, stretching out in a perfect line, balanced carefully.

“You look so cool!” Bucky yelled, and laughed when he heard Steve take a picture. Peggy immediately collapsed after the photo was taken, falling down to land with her head on Bucky's chest, lying between his legs.

They grinned at each other, and Bucky's heart ached fiercely. Of course he wanted more, with both of them, but the world was what it was, and he'd grab hold of friendship and nurture it and love it as much as he would any other relationship.

“C'mon. I wanna play in the fountain,” Steve whined, pulling Peggy up, then Bucky up after her.

“The fountain and I still do not get along,” Bucky informed him seriously, which in no way kept him from kicking off his shoes and going wading with the two of them.

They lasted three whole minutes before Peggy took Steve out at the knees and he emerged sputtering and soaked, hair going in all directions.

Bucky laughed so hard he bent double.

“Oh, I'm hilarious, am I?” Steve asked ominously.

“Completely,” Bucky squeaked, still laughing, and totally unsurprised when Steve grabbed his arm and yanked. He had a soft enough landing – namely Steve himself – but got completely soaked.

“Shit!” Steve sat up quickly, hands wrapping around Bucky's arms. “Fuck, your arm --”

“Is allowed to get wet.” Bucky giggled and swatted him lightly. “Be pretty useless if it wasn't waterproof.”

“Sorry, yeah, that makes sense...”

Bucky rolled his eyes, and splashed Steve extra-hard and tried to ignore that he was _definitely_ sprawled in Steve's lap.

“Get soaked, losers,” Peggy growled, and launched herself at them with pinpoint accuracy, ducking them both.

Afterwards, they stretched out in the sun to at least dry off a little, and Bucky tilted his face up, smiling at the heavy warmth, and let himself drift off. Just for a little bit.

 

“Bucky? Hey honey, wake up.” Steve's voice was soft, so easy to wake up to, and Bucky was already smiling when his eyes opened.

“Mmm, sorry. Wha' time's it?”

“Almost five. Ready to head home?”

Bucky nodded, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Yeah. Shit, I'm sorry, didn't meant to fall asleep for so long.”

“Don't worry about it. Peggy fell asleep too,” Steve assured him, and smiled shyly. “It was...I sketched you. I hope it's okay?”

“Only if you don't let me see!” Bucky shifted so he was kneeling, and peered over Steve's shoulder at his sketchbook. “Oh, Steve. Wow.”

It was _him_. Sprawling in the grass fast asleep, Steve had captured him beautifully, somehow showing the warmth of the perfect hours, a man fallen asleep because playing with friends had exhausted him so completely. “You're an amazing artist.”

“Eh, I'm okay.”

“Amazing,” Bucky said firmly. “Thank you for showing me.”

Steve just blushed and shrugged, and woke Peggy up.

They walked Bucky home in the long, low sunlight, and hugged him (only a little damply) at the front door to his building.

“Thanks for coming to meet us,” Steve said quietly.

“Of course,” Bucky said, and reached for another hug, rubbing Steve's back. “You can talk to me anytime, about anything,” he murmured.

Steve nodded, and they parted so Bucky and Peggy could hug goodbye.

“See you Monday?” she asked, and he shook his head.

“Got to be in town. Day after, though?”

“Tuesday then,” she confirmed, and kissed his cheek. “Have a good evening.”

“You too, guys,” he said, and let himself in. Shower first, then dinner, then bed, all the while resolutely not thinking about Peggy between his thighs, or the way Steve had taken his weight so easily, their bodies tangled together in the cool water of the fountain. Definitely not thinking about that.

* * *

“Hey, you got a minute to talk tattoos?” Steve asked, sticking his head in the office doorway.

Bucky stretched and the pop-pop-pop of his vertebrae was loud enough to make them both wince. “Uh. Yes. Definitely.”

Steve shook his head. “ _Posture_ Barnes, Jesus.”

“You posture,” Bucky grumbled, standing up and stretching again. “Tattoos. Right.”

“Step into my office,” Steve said, and led Bucky out into the main shop, sitting at a little table in one corner. “I sketched up some ideas for your star. None of them are final, and I'm happy to work with you and pick and choose from the different designs.”

“Cool. And thank you,” Bucky said, as Steve slid his sketchbook across the table. The pages it opened to were covered in four big designs, all a little different from each other. “Oh, wow.”

Steve grinned. “I have to check against what you've got again, but that's about the size it'll have to be.”

“Holy shit, these are awesome!” Bucky examined them closely, but it was no contest, really. One was thickly outlined in black, the geometric lines within it much thinner, almost delicate, with just a little bit of shading to mimic the plating on his arm. “That one.”

“You certain?” Steve asked. “I can make any changes you want...”

“I'm certain,” Bucky said, unable to help the huge smile on his face. “Steve, it's perfect. You got the plating totally right.”

Steve reached over to circle the one Bucky had picked. “You're the one that came up with the design. And the one with the awesome arm.”

Bucky laughed, and wiggled his metal fingers at Steve. “Hell yeah. When can you do it, hon?”

“After lunch? It's not the most painless place to get it done,” Steve said, “and you'll feel better with some food in you.”

“Seriously? That would be amazing,” Bucky said. “Steve, thank you so much.”

“It's all my pleasure, honestly Buck,” Steve assured him. “I mean, it's amazing that you want to wear my work on your skin, y'know?”

“Dude, of course I do.”

 

They ate, sharing leftovers, then Steve got set up to work on Bucky. He had to enlarge the drawing a little bit, but it fit nicely on the bony part of his hip, and placement was settled on quickly.

“Okay?” Steve asked, once everything had been set up, and Bucky took a deep breath and nodded. “Awesome. It shouldn't take long, but we can take breaks whenever we need to. And you can talk to me or not, whatever you want.”

“Thanks --” Bucky said, cut off in a deep inhale as the needle hit his skin. It was painful, but not unbearable, and he quickly got used to it, relaxing enough to watch Steve work, bent over Bucky's hip as he traced the black lines of the design.

“Why did you decide to become a tattoo artist?” Bucky asked, when he could speak normally again.

“Always wanted to do art. And I like that my art isn't locked up in a room somewhere. That it goes out in the world and lives.” Steve looked up briefly and smiled. “I never said it wasn't a cheesy reason.”

“It's sweet! And cheesy. But mostly sweet,” Bucky assured him.

“Heh. So yeah, it seemed like the right medium for me. And I'm not bad at it, and it's a nice living and all.”

“When did you start?”

“I apprenticed when I was eighteen, and got work at that shop, then opened this place up a couple years later.” Steve regarded his work, and smiled, and continued outlining. “Seriously, who did you go to to get this done? It's depressing.”

“Be nice! I was seventeen and didn't know any better!”

Steve made a hissing sound through his teeth.

“I know, I know, I was a dumbass. Seventeen. And yes I got tested to see if I have hepatitis, and I do not, thank God.”

“Good.”

They sat in silence for a little bit, while Steve went over bone and Bucky tried not to let on exactly how much it hurt.

“You're doing great,” Steve promised him. “I can start coloring soon.”

“Awesome.”

“So did you get this for any particular reason?” Steve asked.

“Yeah. Um. Sort of.” Bucky sighed. “It's painfully dumb.”

“Bucky, I tried to pierce my cock when I was eighteen. It cannot be a dumb as that.”

“You _what_?”

Steve sat back laughing. “I swear to God. It wasn't my brightest moment.”

“ _Tried_ to?”

“Tried. And failed. And yes there's a scar, but it's hard to see unless you know to look for it.”

“Right. Of course.” Bucky worked extremely hard to not think about Steve's cock. “Okay, it's only a little dumb. _Anyway_. So, uh, I had decided that I was a communist for like six months, because I was seventeen.”

“As one does.”

“As one does,” Bucky agreed. “I was pretty bad at it, by the way. And...you know I lost my arm when I was fifteen?”

“Yeah,” Steve said softly, glancing up at him.

“I never wanted to do the whole 'reclaim my body by changing it' thing. It never felt like it was for me. Like, yeah, it wasn't my choice, but it saved my life. So it all balanced out somehow. But I got the idea for a stupid red star and just...” he trailed off, remembering the feel of the needle on his skin, how cool and adult he felt and how _good_ it all felt. “It's not _because_ of the whole arm thing. But it helped with it.”

“That's so awesome,” Steve told him. “Honestly. Even the dumbass wannabe communist part.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “You _would_ think so.”

“Hell yeah.” Steve swapped needles and started coloring in, bending once more to his work.

Bucky rested his head to one side, just watching Steve concentrate, the little line that appeared between his eyes. He was beautiful, working at his art, and Bucky fought the urge to reach out and stroke the soft hair just over one ear.

He squinted, peering a little closer. “Oh, you've got a hearing aid!” And then clapped his hand over his mouth, head falling back. “Fuck, I didn't mean it like that.”

Steve stopped tattooing so he could look Bucky in the eye and laugh. “You seriously _just_ noticed?”

“Shut up! It's really small!”

“Oh my God.” Steve shook his head, grinning. “Yes, I am deaf in one ear. Since birth.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry I sort of...yelled about it.”

“It's fine,” Steve assured him, getting back to work. “It's not a secret or anything, I honestly thought you knew. Although if you ever wondered why I was ignoring you, I promise I didn't mean it. Honest.”

“Uh huh.” Bucky smiled, leaning back against the table he was stretched out on. “I am absolutely certain you have never used that as an excuse.”

“Never. Ever. Why would I do that?” Steve deadpanned.

“Mmm, pure as the driven snow, you are,” Bucky murmured, closing his eyes against the pain in his hip.

“You okay there?”

“Uh huh. Just hurts.”

“Not much longer,” Steve promised. “We'll take a break in five?”

“Sounds good.”

The tattoo was finished soon after, with Steve gently washing it (and Steve _washing his groin_ was going to feature in Bucky's dreams for nights to come), then spreading vaseline and covering it with a dressing. “You can take that off in a few hours, but you might want to either plan on living in sweatpants for a few days, or I'll send you home with more of the dressings, so your clothes don't rub against it,” Steve said, while Bucky did up his jeans.

“It's amazing. Really, Steve...thank you. So much. You seriously won't even let me tip you?”

“Perish the thought. Friends get freebies, but you can buy me a drink next time we're out if you really want to,” Steve said, leaning on his crossed arms. “You okay? Lie down for as long as you need, hon. I don't have anyone coming in for a few more hours.”

Bucky smiled up at him, feeling sweet and cared-for and awash in the thrill that good pain brought. “Just a few minutes. Starting to feel a little fuzzy around the edges.”

Steve laughed, and leaned over, and kissed Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come hang out/yell at me at dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a li'l good old-fashioned h/c, to make us all feel better...

“Oh,” said Bucky.

“Oh.” Steve pulled back, eyes gone wide and scared. “I...”

“It's okay,” Bucky said softly. “Nothing meant by it. I know.”

“Yeah. Shit, I'm sorry Buck...”

“Dude, I've kissed friends before,” Bucky said gently. “I know Peggy's the only one for you. No harm done, okay?”

“Yeah.” Steve shook himself a little, and looked away. “You want a drink or something? You can't eat in this part of the shop, but if you wanna crash on the sofa I'll bring you a soda.”

“Nah. I'm fine,” Bucky said, sitting up and waiting and – yeah, he really was, as long as he didn't think about kissing Steve. Never happened. “I should get back to work.”

“Yeah.” Steve didn't seem to know what to do with his hands. “Uh. Wanna have tea at the usual time?”

“Of course,” Bucky said, and then more softly. “Steve. Calm down. We're friends, yeah?”

“Yeah. God, yes.” Steve's smile was genuine, relaxed for just a moment. “Sorry. I just...I don't have many people that close to me, y'know?”

“Mmm.” Bucky hadn't met any of Steve and Peggy's friends yet, but he'd thought that was just poor timing. Not that the two most amazing people he knew were really that solitary. “Well, you've got one more now."

Steve blushed, and smiled at him. “Get back to work, lazy.”

“Getting,” Bucky promised, and did. And didn't think about how safe he had felt with Steve beside him. How he hadn't minded the kiss. How he'd rather liked it – though a little warning next time might be nice.

He shook his head, glaring at his laptop screen. There wasn't going to _be_ a next time. Steve had screwed up, and that was all there was to it. They weren't anything more than friends.

 

“Peggy? You got a minute?” Steve asked. He had worked away at commissions the rest of the afternoon, trying to ignore the fact that Bucky was just a few hundred yards away. _Definitely_ ignoring how very much Steve had enjoyed that kiss.

“Mmm. What's up, darling?” she asked, spinning her chair around and stretching. “Hullo, you.” She stretched again, long and languorous, and Steve pulled her up into an embrace, kissing her deeply. God, she was beautiful, soft arms around his neck, perfect body under his hands. Steve regularly got dizzy, he was so in love.

“Oooh,” she said, and laughed when he nuzzled under her ear. “One of _those_ minutes.”

“No. I really do need to tell you something,” he said, pulling her close again. Fuck. He was going to hurt her, but it would kill him to keep this quiet.

“What's wrong, Steve?” she asked.

Steve tried to look her in the eye, but dropped his gaze in the end. “I kissed Bucky.”

“Oh.”

“I didn't mean to! It was just, after I finished his tattoo. He was lying there and he looked so happy and a little silly and I kissed him,” he finished lamely. “I'm so sorry. It won't happen again. I think he's already forgotten about it anyway.”

“Oh,” Peggy said flatly.

“I'm sorry, Peg. I'm so sorry,” he insisted. She'd sat back down in her chair and he knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his. Peggy had caught a woman kissing him just after they'd started dating and...it hadn't been pretty, and in _that_ case Steve hadn't wanted to be kissed either. This was all him. “Talk to me, love.”

She bit her lip and worked her jaw. They'd both worked so hard to be able to talk to each other. Steve bit the inside of his cheek, reminding himself to be patient. All of this was so hard on Peggy, on his beautiful girl who had told him she hadn't ever expected to find someone who would get her, would look past the surface and love her anyway.

“I need a minute,” she said, and got up, grabbing her keys and stalking out the door.

“Fuck,” said Steve.

 

 

Peggy was gone for an hour. Steve had tried not to panic – it wasn't like she was going to come back and announce she was moving out or anything – but still. He'd _hurt_ her, and he was angry at Bucky for absolutely no reason ( _Bucky_ hadn't exactly initiated anything and God, he was lucky that the guy wasn't furious with Steve for practically assaulting him) and nothing was going right.

It was stupid. It was _so stupid_. There had been nothing there, nothing in the kiss, just Steve being stupid and impulsive _again_. Usually when he did that he wound up with a black eye or a broken nose or some new ink, but this time he'd hurt Peggy, his best friend in the world, the woman who was his everything. God, what was _wrong_ with him?

It wouldn't do any good to try to find her. One, Peggy was too good for that. She could, and did, vanish at will, changing her hair or the way she walked just enough to disappear in plain sight. Two, she wouldn't exactly take kindly to him. She'd be back – she just needed to be angry first, and think, and then they could talk. Eventually. The only thing to do was keep busy, and hope she could understand that it was just a huge, stupid mistake on Steve's part, and it would never happen again. Because it wouldn't.

Steve had scrubbed the bathroom and was re-sealing the tub when he heard Peggy come back into the apartment.

“Steve?” she called.

“In here.” Steve stepped out into the hallway, and broke a little at the sight of Peggy. It had started raining and she was drenched, her eyes still red. “Oh, honey.” He held out his arms and she did not run down the hallway, but she walked very fast.

“Everything is shit, you know,” she said, face buried in his shoulder.

“Yeah, I know,” he said quietly, holding her close. “Peggy...”

“Shut up. Let me dry off, then we'll talk,” she said, but didn't move just yet. Steve wasn't exactly about to hurry her along, either.

Finally she pried herself away and went into their bedroom, shedding wet clothes and drying herself off with a towel. Steve stood in the doorway and watched her. She moved efficiently, often without grace, and he loved every inch of her, luscious hips and strong legs, the tattoos of flowers that covered her arms, the vines curling down her torso, the stars across her collarbones. She had asked him for the stars first, like the ones on his hands, and he'd fallen in love dappling them across her skin.

Peggy shrugged on an old dress, and sat crosslegged on the bed, staring up at Steve. “Well.”

“What can I do, honey?” he asked softly, going to sit down beside her. “Anything you need, Peg.”

“Just listen to me,” she said, and gave him a funny little smile. “I walked halfway to Manhattan and back to figure this out.”

Steve nodded, heart pounding, and Peggy took a deep breath.

“I'm jealous,” she finally said. “Of you.”

“I...what?”

“Tell me about it,” she said dryly. “The only thing I'm really pissed at is that you got to kiss him and I didn't.”

“Uh. Are you sure?” Dumb question. Peggy knew her own mind.

She nodded, and smiled a little. “I'm...not mad at you,” she said, sounding a little surprised. “At all.”

“Um, good?” Steve laughed, and sat down, looking up at his lovely wife. “Shit. It really won't happen again – he said right away that there wasn't anything in it, that we were just friends.”

Peggy made a bit of a face. “Damn. I bet he's really good at kissing too.”

“I guess? It went pretty quick,” Steve admitted.

Peggy sighed. “Fuck. Well, that's that.”

The easy rhythm of their lives restored itself, until a few weeks later.

 

 

Bucky peeked in the shop window, but everything was still dark, and he knocked on the door again. He was running a little late – making a round of breakfast burritos could do that to a guy – and Steve at least was usually in the shop by now.

_hey guys u around? i've got breakfast!_ He texted both of them.

It took a few minutes for Peggy to reply.  _shit sorry steve in hostpital last night on our way home see you soon. let urself in bby_

So it was true. It really  _did_ feel like your blood turning to ice. Bucky sat down quickly in front of the shop, texting back, his hands shaking  _WHAT?????_ _he ok? you ok? what happened???_

_sht sorry, evrything ok now, explain when we getthere._

Bucky bit his lip and let himself into the shop  with his spare key ,  on autopilot as he turned off the alarm system. He put his bag on the front counter, and fretted. Should he make tea? Coffee? Just  drop off the bag and then leave – the  _last_ thing they'd want  was some dweeb hanging around. Even if it really had been nothing Steve was going to be exhausted, and of  _course_ it had been something people didn't  _spend the night in the hospital_ for nothing and fuck fuck fuck.

Bucky took a deep breath, and went outside to sit and wait on the front step, wrapping his arms around his knees. Steve was okay. He was okay. Peggy had said so. He was coming home, so he was okay.

A taxi pulled up just outside a few minutes later, and Bucky managed to hold it together until they had both gotten out and the driver pulled away and then he stalked over to Steve, glared at him, and pulled him into a rough hug.

“Shit. Oh, honey.” Steve's arms wrapped around him. Big, strong Steve, still solid as ever. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.”

“Well, tough. You did,” Bucky said, his voice shaking, and he felt Peggy touch his hair lightly.

“I'm so sorry,” she apologized. “I wouldn't have been so blunt. Just...I forget we haven't known you that long, and you don't know about Steve.”

“What about Steve?” Bucky asked, his voice scaling up.

“Peggy, we have _got_ to work on your bedside manner,” Steve said fondly, and he hugged Bucky tightly for a moment. “C'mon inside. Peggy will make tea, and we can  eat and I'll explain everything. It's okay, sweetheart. I promise.” He kept one arm around Bucky's shoulders, and they walked into the shop together. “Thanks for breakfast, by the way. I'm ravenous.”

“Um. You're welcome.” Bucky let himself be led back into their apartment and their sunny little kitchen, where Steve would have to let go of him to sit down at the table.

Except he didn't – keeping that arm around Bucky's shoulders, he steered them into the living room, where they sat down on the sofa, still so close together.

“Bucky, I'm _so sorry_ ,” Steve said, turning to face him. “I really forgot you don't know, or I would've told you ages ago, and you wouldn't have been so frightened. I'm really sorry.”

“Steve. Stop apologizing and explain so my heart rate can go down?” Bucky pleaded.

“Heh. Speaking of. Okay.” Steve sighed, and slumped against the back of the sofa. “So, I have a lot of basically minor but very annoying health problems. They're all treated, to a greater or lesser degree, but sometimes they act up a little bit. In no particular order, I have,” he recited, holding up one finger at a time, “a malformed heart – mostly repaired but still a little dicky sometimes – high blood pressure, anemia, asthma, scoliosis, an array of fascinating and gross stomach problems, partial deafness and blindness but you knew about that and, not terribly surprisingly, depression.”

“Uh huh,” Bucky said, and blinked a few times. “Um.”

Steve laughed softly. “It's a lot to take in. I've had heart and back surgery, and I'm on medication for pretty much everything else, but sometimes it's not quite enough. I was having some nasty blood pressure dips yesterday evening, and my heart joined in on the arrhythmic fun, and they decided to keep me for observation. I'm okay now, though. I promise.”

Bucky nodded, a little jerkily. “And you're...I mean...”

“I'm not going to keel over on you,” Steve promised. “I'm not a YA book either, Mr. Barnes,” he teased, and Bucky surrendered a smile that was very nearly real. “I'm never going to be one hundred percent, but I'm pretty close, most days. And I can assure you that I'm _miles_ better off than when I was a kid.” He ducked his head and smiled, and Bucky smiled back, for real this time. “I really am sorry I scared you. I should've told you this ages ago and warned you and not forced you to rely on a text from Nurse Ratched over there,” he said, raising his voice so Peggy could hear.

“Nurse Ratched spent the night on a fucking plastic chair,” she called back. “Bite me, Steve.”

Bucky couldn't help laughing. “Okay, I'm convinced.  Sorry I melted down on you.”

“It's more than understandable,” Steve assured him, and pulled Bucky into _another_ hug. He really was ridiculously affectionate.

Bucky let himself rest his head on Steve's shoulder for a moment, just breathing, feeling the lovely man in his arms. Touching was okay, right now. They both needed it, and it didn't mean anything. It  _didn't_ .

“I should go,” Bucky mumbled into Steve's shirt. “You're both probably exhausted.”

“Well, yeah. But have breakfast with us, at least,” Steve said, and Bucky heard Peggy walk into the room and sit down at his back. She rested her chin on his shoulder, and he giggled, hearing Steve and Peggy kiss.

“Are you sure?”

“I heated everything up again, and made you a cup of coffee,” Peggy said, as Bucky pulled away. “You'd better stay and eat, you made enough for five.”

“Fine. But I'm leaving right after and both of you are going straight to bed,” Bucky ordered, and rolled his eyes at Peggy's leer. “To _sleep_.”

“I can't even joke otherwise,” she admitted, slouching against Bucky's arm, apparently totally uncaring that it was hard metal. “I'm wrecked.”

“Eat, drink, rest,” Bucky ordered, and poked her in the side to make her giggle. “And if you need anything at all, you call me. Either of you,” he said, turning a firm eye on Steve.

He held up his hands, and he really did look exhausted. “Whatever.”

“Good.” Bucky tickled Peggy again for good measure, and then concentrated on wolfing his food down so he could get out of their hair.

He hugged them both goodbye, holding Steve close for a moment. “Please take care of yourself.”

Steve sighed noisily.

“Sorry. Just.” Bucky let go, but made Steve meet his eyes. “Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm not nagging, honestly.”

“He cares about you, Steve, and is telling you so,” Peggy said. “Accept it like the fucking adult you are.”

“I have cartoon pajamas, I am not an adult,” Steve informed her. “Thanks, Bucky. I'm okay though. Really.”

“I know,” Bucky said, and rolled his eyes. “See you soon?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Bucky left laughing, after the desperate look Peggy sent his way. Which, considering how the morning had started, wasn't so bad.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Protip: If you want to yell at me immediately, I get all comments pushed to my phone via e-mail. I can only check Tumblr at the start and end of each day, so if you want to let it stew, I'm at dietraumerei.tumblr.com ;)
> 
> This weekend and next week is a little crazy for me with not much internet time -- I'll try to update again on Sunday, but it could be as late as a week from now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey let's talk about how much I love genderfluid!bucky

Bucky leaned over to peer into the mirror above the sink, turning their head carefully. The smoky eye tutorial had been pretty great, and they were now 50% stunning, the dark colors making their eyes glow a brighter blue. Time for number two – and ugh, symmetry was overrated. Didn't they prove that, with the arm and everything?

They smiled at their reflection, first rubbing on the eyeshadow primer, then dipping the brush into the shadow, feathering a perfect line and filling it in. They put on the liquid liner next, a thick line that ended in a tiny wing, and carefully didn't smile until it had dried. Their crows-feet were sweet and kissable (as a lover had once said), but didn't play well with wet kohl.

Mascara next, then a little clean-up with a q-tip, and Bucky grinned, loving their reflection. Just eyes today, they decided, and put their hair up in a soft bun. Time to do something with that soon – not dye, they liked their dark hair too well for that, but maybe a chelsea? Something to talk to Nat about, they decided.

They padded down the hall to their bedroom and looked in the full-length mirror there. Beautiful face with eyes huge and shining now, hair soft enough to still frame their face a little. Bared to the waist – they had a nice body, even with the whole arm thing. And Steve had loved their arm, Bucky reminded themselves. Captured it perfectly in art.

Bucky ran their fingertips along the top edge of their jeans, pulling down just enough to let part of the star peek through. It had healed beautifully. And it was as though the kiss (friendly, affectionate, but non-sexual, not loving) had never happened. Bucky hadn't thought of it in days.

They closed their eyes and let their fingertips trace the inked skin, thinking just for a moment what it would be like to have Steve kneel in front of them, lips against the tattoo, maybe arms around Bucky's legs, strong and steady. They could drop one hand and run fingers through that soft golden hair, encouraging with little scritches. Steve would kiss their skin, take his time, make sure Bucky knew they were taken care of, make sure Bucky was _ready_ , before he moved his mouth just a few inches over...

Bucky palmed their crotch, just something to rub against, and made a low sound deep in their throat. God, they were fucked, but they rubbed harder, lost a little in the fantasy. Peggy would come up behind them, hold them steady, press kisses to their shoulder and their neck. Press close, all curves and strength and probably saying something filthy and hilarious and Bucky would laugh and fall back and she'd wrap her arms around them, holding them steady, the way she had from the moment they'd met her.

And Steve, still kneeling, mouth still hot and so good, and those blue blue eyes looking up, and Bucky whimpered, breath hitched, and that was it. No Steve to ease them down, no Peggy to catch them, they went to their knees until their breathing was even again.

They curled up a little, and did not cry. It was a crush, a stupid crush, and it would always be imaginary for so many different reasons. No point in being sad over it, even though they were, because they were...not lonely, not exactly. Because they wanted friends to become lovers, they wanted to hold Steve and kiss him again, rest their head on Peggy's thighs and have her touch them easy and sweet, the way she touched Steve. They wanted so, so much more.

Their phone rang, Steve calling, and Bucky answered, motion automatic. “Hey Steve.”

“Hey. What's wrong?” Steve's voice was tender, and Bucky closed their eyes against it.

“Nothing, just been working hard. What's up?”

“Peggy and I are headed to Rose of Tralee for a drink – want to meet us there?”

“I...yeah.” _Not_ seeing them wouldn't help, and a drink and getting out of their own head might, even if they would have to do it as a boy. “When are you going?”

“In half an hour? If that's good for you?”

“Yeah, that's great.” Bucky even smiled, and meant it. “See you soon, Stevie.”

“Be good to see you, Buck. Don't get lost in work again okay? Or Peggy'll go over there and bodily drag you away.”

Bucky laughed, and promised, and hung up. They had to wipe their makeup off, and switch their hair to a low ponytail, just to be sure. (Of _course_ Steve and Peggy would care about them anyway, of course, but...Bucky just needed to be sure. And almost no one knew that they sometimes needed to be something in between. They'd tell the two of them. Eventually.)

Rose of Tralee turned into a long night with many drinks, which meant Bucky turned giggly and relaxed and they didn't feel too strange presenting as male. They didn't tell either, but it was all right. Things weren't so wrong, with a pint in front of him and Steve to one side and Nat would be joining them when she got off work.

“Right, Bucky, you need to come over tomorrow afternoon,” Peggy announced. She _had_ to be at least tipsy, she'd been matching Bucky drink for drink, but her voice was even as ever. It was not fair.

“Okay. Why?”

“Film fest at our place,” she said. “The second film of as many series as we can stand.”

“Cool. Uh. What did I do to make you hate me?” Bucky asked.

“Oh, fuck off,” Steve said, and at least _his_ voice slurred a little. Bucky felt very proud, but also made a mental note to have a drink of water before stumbling home.

“It's gonna be hilarious,” Peggy confided. “We've done it before. _Wrath of Khan_ is forbidden, but anything else is up for grabs.”

“C'mon,” Steve whined, draping himself over the table, because Steve drunk, it turned out, was amazing. (Bucky suspected that Steve was not technically _supposed_ to get drunk, but he wasn't going to make an issue out of it. Not tonight.)

“Fine. But I'm gonna need to be a lot more hungover,” Bucky threatened. “Another round?” He rose at the chorus of 'yes please', and was just about able to do it gracefully. Because he was awesome.

 

 

He was not remotely hungover enough for this.

“Butter on your popcorn, Buck?” Steve called from the kitchen.

“Yes, please!” Bucky yelled back, pulling up Netflix. He'd hauled his giant fancy monitor over so they could watch movies properly, not just hunched around Peggy's laptop. “Highlander first, right?”

“ _Obviously_ ,” Peggy called, helping Steve in the kitchen.

“Obviously,” Bucky repeated, rolling his eyes. He shrugged his shoulders, trying to get a crick out of his neck then – fuck, _fuck_. “Fuck.” Searing pain across his back and down an arm that didn't even exist anymore and fuck fuck fuck.

“Right, Peggy's making lemonade and – shit, what's wrong?” Steve must have teleported across the room to be by Bucky's side so quickly, hovering anxiously. “What happened?”

“Bad feedback 'n muscle cramp,” Bucky managed between clenched teeth, curling over tightly and clutching at his bicep, like that would do anything about the pure pain arcing across his body. “Sorry, sorry, it'll pass.” He closed his eyes tighter and concentrated on not throwing up.

“What do you need?”

“Lie down. Take arm off,” Bucky grated out. “Heat.”

“Electric blanket,” Peggy said quickly, her heels clicking as she all but ran through the living room, aiming for the little bedroom tucked in the back of the apartment.

Bucky was scrabbling at the edge of his shirt, trying to get it off with one arm, the other one locked in place now and _fuck_ he'd never gotten feedback this badly before, and it felt like all the phantom pain he'd been spared was coming back all at once.

“I've got it,” Steve said, and pulled his t-shirt off.

“Straps – like a bra.” Bucky usually made jokes about this, but he couldn't, fuck, he could barely _focus_.

“I've got it,” Steve repeated, and unclipped the thin bands that held the prosthetic on, strapping it across his chest.

Bucky eased the thing off and sighed when the ratcheting pain ended, leaving just the muscle cramps in his back. “Urgh.”

“Bed's set up,” Peggy said from the doorway. “You okay to walk, Barnes?”

Bucky nodded, and stood up with Steve's help, then followed Peggy down the short corridor. Their bed was messy and unmade, the duvet shoved down to the foot, but an electric blanket lay in the middle, surrounded by thick pillows. He lay down, sighing when fingers of heat started working their way into his back, when the muscles calmed enough so he could think. “God, I'm so sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Steve asked calmly, coming to sit on the edge. “Feeling better?”

Bucky sighed happily and nodded, eyes closing in relief now. “Uh huh. Ngh, this blanket is magic.”

“It really is,” Peggy said, coming in to sit on his other side. “I've got water, by the way, if you need it.”

“In a minute. Just need to lie still,” Bucky explained, eyes still closed. He wasn't sure if he was dreading pity or annoyance more. Not that they'd show annoyance, because they were nice people, but still. “Sorry. Get muscle cramps sometimes, and get weird feedback occasionally. 'parently I can get both at once.”

“That's not good,” Steve said, voice clearly worried, and Bucky tried to smile reassuringly.

“I can get massages from my PT, I'll talk to her about it. Nothin' to do about the feedback but get the arm off 'n keep it off for a few hours” He forced his eyes open. “And not move for a little while. Go watch a movie, I'll join you when I can.”

It was really impressive how they could roll their eyes in unison. Like some married-person superpower.

“God, you're a dumbass,” Peggy said, and grabbed a laptop off of a bookshelf. “Just for that, you've got bitch seat and we're using your tummy as a table.

“Peggy, was that even in English?”

She fixed him with a Look, and he grinned, as charmingly as possible when he still felt mostly like death.

“I'll get the popcorn,” Steve said. “Try and stop being a tit for ten minutes, Bucky.”

“I have not yet even _begun_ to be irritating to you two,” Bucky informed his retreating back, and he smiled over at Peggy. “I mean, aside from crashing on your bed and being vaguely inconvenient."

“You're not inconvenient at all,” Peggy informed him, and opened the laptop up, setting it on his stomach as promised. She had been sitting on his right side, and he didn't miss the way her eyes caught on...not even a stump. A lack of arm.

“It's okay,” he said softly. “Look as much as you need to.”

She sat still, and looked. No judgement, no pity, just a steady taking-in, the way she would look at him if he showed up with a new haircut. “You know,” she said, and paused. “You know, I'm quite glad you're alive and healthy now.”

“Thanks, honey. Me too.”

Steve came back with the popcorn then and handed it to Peggy before curling up on Bucky's left side and bringing up the movie.

Bucky rested his head against Steve's for a moment, just reassuring, then let go to fall asleep halfway through a series of truly mediocre films. His only revenge was that Steve fell asleep too, and he looked vastly dumber in the photos Peggy took of both of them. And set as their phone wallpapers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someday I will write something other than Bucky being physically buried under people who love him. Today is not that day.
> 
> The comments and kudos mean SO MUCH you guys -- thank you!
> 
> Also, wow, I'm actually getting through this very quickly; I may switch to posting one chapter a week (and writing/posting Warp and Weft more often) just so I can stay ahead in the actual written text.
> 
> On tumblr as dietraumerei.tumblr.com, as always.


	6. Chapter 6

“Steve, tell Bucky I don't need anyone to fight for me.”

“Steve, tell Peggy that I will damn well not stand by while some assholes go after her.”

Steve looked up and met twin glares. “Uh. What?”

Peggy stalked further into the shop. “I was handling it just _fine_ , and I don't need anyone taking punches for me,” she snapped, and pointed at Bucky. “ _That one_ decided he would get in on the fun.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Bucky interrupted, and pointed at Peggy. “ _That one_ might be able to take on four men bigger than her, but I am not going to stand there gaping while she does so! Tell her, Steve, tell her how stupid that is.”

“I can defend myself!” Peggy snapped.

“Jesus God, woman, I _know_ ,” Bucky yelled back. “But that doesn't mean I'm gonna _make_ you do so, got it?”

“What the fuck,” Steve helpfully contributed to the conversation.

Peggy rolled her eyes. “Some assholes decided to mess with me. I was dealing with them just fine until Sergeant Smart-arse here decided to intervene.”

“Yes! I did! Because you were fighting _four men_ ,” Bucky yelped. “What was I supposed to do, cheer you on?”

“Oh my God,” Steve managed, and rubbed his forehead. “What the fuck, _both_ of you.”

Peggy pulled out her ace. “He got punched in the face.  _Hard_ ,” she said, and crossed her arms.

“She...didn't?” Bucky managed, clearly bewildered.

“You got hurt?” Steve frowned and came around the counter, heading for Bucky. “Oh, no. Let me see your face.”

“No! What the hell is wrong with you people?” Bucky demanded. “Your _wife_ got attacked and I jumped in to help her and I get _yelled_ at and so what if I got punched, aren't you worried about her?”

“She didn't catch a fist in the face” Steve pointed out reasonably.

Bucky threw up his hands, neatly dodging Steve reaching towards his face again. “I do not  _believe_ you. Either of you! Christ, I'm sorry, okay?” he said to Peggy. “I'm so fucking sorry. You clearly don't need my help, I get it, okay? I'll leave you alone, now,” he snapped, and turned on his heel and left the store, storming down the block.

“Well, I _don't_ ,” Peggy said weakly, when Steve turned to face her. “I was doing just fine.”

Steve sighed, and wrapped his arms around her, pulling Peggy close. “I know, honey.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “You're really not hurt?”

“Really, truly, I promise,” Peggy said, resting her head against his chest. “Not a scratch on me.”

Steve hugged her a little tighter. “Good.”

“I fucked up, didn't I?” she said, some time later.

“Yup.”

“You're going to make me apologize to him.”

“Yup.”

Peggy bit her lip. “Do I have to?”

“Yup.” Steve laughed, and cupped her face in his hands. “How many times have you made me go over to someone's house, cap in hand, and apologize for being a dick?”

“Yeah, but you _were_. Maybe I...can just never see him again?” she hazarded. “Ever?”

“ _Peggy_.”

She frowned. “Right. I actually like him, so that would suck.” She bit her lip, and curled close to Steve again. “He'll forgive me, right?”

“Honey, you could have been the one to punch Bucky in the face, and I think he'd forgive you,” Steve said. “He adores you.”

Peggy snorted. “You're awful.”

“I'm also right.”

“God, I hate it when you are,” she sighed. “Steve...can I go tomorrow, at least? Give him time to cool off?”

“Of course.” Steve kissed her softly. “C'mon, I'm about to close up. And I want to get you into bed.”

“I'm gonna start to think that me fighting gets you all hot,” she said, and laughed when Steve shrugged. “Oh, God. It does, doesn't it?”

“Can I help that my best girl is a helluva lady?” Steve asked, and laughed again when she threw herself at him, catching her easily. “Love you, Pegs.”

“Love you too. Asshole.”

 

_**Peggy:** Hey, are you around later today?_

_**Bucky:** Sorry, I'm not._

_**Peggy:** Ok. how about tomorrow?_

_**Bucky:** what do you want, Peggy._

_**Peggy:** To say sorry._

_**Bucky:** You just did._

_**Peggy:** Steve is making me do it in person._

_**Bucky:** for fuck's sake. don't come over here unless YOU want to, Peg._

 

“I fucked up,” Peggy said miserably.

“A little,” Steve conceded. “Peggy, honey. Just show up. He works from home, like, ninety percent of the time.”

Peggy bit her lip. “Okay.”

“He's not gonna hate you.”

“I know,” she snapped, then looked away. “I know,” she repeated. “I think.”

“You're awesome. He's pretty much our best friend. He'll forgive you,” Steve said.

“Yeah, of course,” Peggy mumbled, hugging around her waist. “I'll bring something nice from the cafe.”

“Uh huh. But mostly yourself, got it?”

“How come you're not this smart when I'm the one yelling at you?” Peggy asked.

“Mark of a good marriage – we can trade off,” Steve said smoothly. “Go. Get. I miss having him wandering through here already.”

Peggy nodded, and squared her shoulders – and kissed Steve one more time before heading out.  A strategic stop for coffee and  scones later, she was striding up to Bucky's front door, shoulders squared. Apologize, be forgiven, hug, eat and drink. That's all they had to do. 

She knocked on Bucky's door, maybe a little harder than she meant to.

“ _What_?” Bucky pulled the door open with maybe a little more force than necessary. “Peggy.”

She held out the bag and the little cardboard tray with its coffee cups. “I'm sorry. I was an asshole to you.”

Bucky blinked. “What?”

“I'm sorry! Okay? You were just being kind, and...I wasn't,” she said, setting her jaw and meeting Bucky's eyes. “I'm sorry. Really,” she added, when he didn't say anything.

He blinked at her. “Um.”

“Never mind. I really am sorry,” she muttered, and shoved everything at him. “It's okay. I'll go.”

“Wait! No, Peg. Come in,” he said, and stood aside, letting her slip into the little apartment. “Come and sit down.”

She perched neatly on the sofa, skirt fanning out around her, wishing there was some way to hide her hands. She'd set her peace offering on the little coffee table.

“Thanks for the coffee.” Bucky's voice was soft and a little sad. “Did Steve suggest it?”

“What? No.” Peggy glared at him. “I'm a grown woman, Barnes, I can apologize like one.”

Bucky just stared at her.

She stared back.

No matter  he said later , it was  _definitely_ Bucky who broke down laughing first, but Peggy wasn't far behind him.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Only you, Margaret Carter, of all the people in the whole world, would show up and yell at me to accept your apology,” Bucky wheezed around his giggles.

“Fuck you! I'm just...really bad at this,” she said, and oh dear God _no_ she was not going to start crying and they were tears of laughter, honest, that's why she was wiping them away so quickly.

“Oh, Peg, no. I can't have beautiful women crying in my home.” Strong arms wrapped around her, one soft and giving, the other hard, the particular feeling that was only Bucky. “Don't, darling. I'm not angry at you.”

“I'm not crying!”

“Of course not,” Bucky soothed. “It's just very warm in here and your eyes are sweating.” He rubbed her back when she laughed. “It's okay, honey. Everything is okay.”

“I really am sorry,” she mumbled into his shoulder, getting control of herself. “I mean it.”

“I know, Pegs. Apology accepted.” Bucky pulled back and wiped the tears off of her cheeks, still smiling. “See, that wasn't hard.”

Peggy laughed, and sniffled, and took control of herself. “Are you okay? How's your jaw?” she asked, cradling his face in one hand.

“A little sore,” he admitted. “Nothing awful. C'mon,” he said, and rose up to sit next to her. “Let's share out your goodies. Last of the cinnamon buns?” he asked, peeking into the bag.

“No, we lost today” she said, making a face. “I should've sent Steve, I think Coulson holds some back for him.”

Bucky laughed, and pulled out a scone.  “ Can you blame him? This is great, though.  You spoil me. I approve.”

Peggy smiled, and pulled out her own sweet. “Everything okay between us?” she asked, just to make sure.

“Everything's okay,” he assured her, and his face softened at something in her eyes. “Honey, of course everything's okay. Gonna take a lot to drive me away.”

“I can be a lot,” she admitted. “As you can tell.”

“Worth it,” he said, and nudged her shoulder with his.

“Sorry I got pissed at you,” she said, nudging back. “I just...I get so tired of everyone treating me like I'm helpless. And you didn't, you _don't,_ just...”

“I know what you mean,” Bucky said quietly. “In my own way.” He held up his left hand and wiggled the fingers. “Especially with this. Or, technically, without it.”

“Fuck.” She smiled sadly at him. “Sorry. I guess you would.”

Bucky shrugged. “I get it, y'know? But I'm also not going to promise you that, if I see someone starting trouble with you, I'm not gonna have your back. Because I will. Always.”

Peggy nodded quickly, but refused to drop her gaze. “I wouldn't expect anything else of you.”

Bucky smiled, and slouched on the sofa. “So how're things going, Peg o' my heart?”

“Never call me that again.” She burst out laughing. “Bucky, it's been twenty-four hours.”

“Yeah. Way too long.” Bucky gave her a sideways smile. “How's that backpiece Steve's been sweating over?”

“Oh _God_ , you'd think it was for Jesus Christ himself,” Peggy said, and caught him up on the latest meltdown. Complete with reenacted shrieking, until Bucky was almost on the floor, he was laughing so hard.

“I should get back to the shop,” she admitted, after the story was over and coffee had been drunk. “See you soon, though?”

“Of course,” Bucky assured her, walking her to the door and pulling her into a huge hug. “Give Steve a hug for me, please.”

“Will do.” She kissed his brow. “Thank you for...for being kind,” she said quietly, and Bucky wrapped his arms around her.

“You say that like it's hard.” Bucky rubbed her back a little, then opened the door firmly. “We both have work. Get.”

“Getting. See you soon.”

“See you soon, honey.”

 

 

The next morning dawned August-hot and bosky, the tipping point of the dog days of summer. Bucky woke up, hand still on his cock, on the exquisite edge just before coming. He had been lying between Peggy's legs, tongue inside her, and she had filled his senses, strong legs heavy on his shoulders. Still only half-awake, he wondered what it would be like to have Steve lying next to him, hand on his cock while he made Peggy come –

The orgasm woke Bucky the rest of the way up, and he was left with a mixture of bone-deep pleasure and cringing awkwardness. What the fuck was he doing falling for his friends? No good was going to come of this.

He sent Peggy a quick text saying he was going to work from home. Being around the two of them wouldn't help things at all, and this way he got a little breathing room. This innocent crush was getting out of hand.

Bucky forced himself to work the whole day, writing reports, assessing security protocols. It was usually pretty easy for him to lose himself in such things (Peggy had taken to physically pulling him away to take a break), but he had to pull every trick he had to stay focused. And he _still_ kept coming back to Steve leaning over him and kissing him, to the way Peggy felt in his arms, strong and soft all at once.

At the end of the day he shoved away from his computer and went for a walk. The late summer sun was hot and the whole world was slow, and he hoped it would calm him down.

He just more twisted-up in his own head, it turned out, walking through the park where they'd spent so much time. Biting his lip to keep from crying when he saw a man and woman kissing – that wasn't fair, to hate them because he was lonely. God, he needed a break.

Bucky fished out his phone, knowing exactly who to call. “Nat? You free tonight?”

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I *was* gonna wait to post this tomorrow and then I pulled up the chapter for a final edit and I am now smiling evilly off into the middle distance so long story short, here you go!
> 
> PS Hello new Tumblr followers! I love you!

“Right, spill,” Nat said, clearly having carried her patience to the absolute limit. Which had been about twenty minutes.

“I think I'm falling for Steve and Peggy.” Bucky paused. “No, I'm _definitely_ falling for them.”

“Well, yeah.”

“What?”

“It's kind of obvious,” she said, and took a sip of her beer like she hadn't just destroyed Bucky's entire life.

“Fuck. Fuck. Wait,” he said, hoping quietly. “Obvious to you or obvious to everyone?”

“Obvious to me,” she confirmed, and Bucky relaxed. “And probably other people, if they're bothering to pay attention.”

“No. Shit.” Bucky leaned over, forehead resting gently on the bar. “ _No_.”

“What are you freaking out? They're hot. You're probably at the end of a long line of people who want to bang them,” Natasha pointed out, entirely too reasonably.

“Because they're my _friends_. And they're not like that. Poly,” he explained, stumbling just a little over his words. “And it's gross and I hate wanting them and knowing they won't ever want me back,” he said miserably. “And I don't want them to know. It feels...invasive.”

“Wait, you think they don't want you back?” Nat asked, a little too innocently.

“No. They don't. Peggy said flat-out that she'd never look beyond their marriage and Steve said that went for him too.” Bucky scowled at her. “Some people speak plainly.”

“Then I'll speak very plainly to you,” Nat said, voice gone flat. “They like you back. As more than a friend. It's not this hopeless lost romance you've built up.”

“Shut up,” Bucky muttered. “How do you know? Did one of them expressly tell you that they'd be open to dating me?”

“No, of course not. But I can tell.” Nat rolled her eyes. “God, people are readable. It's a skill, Barnes. You have it too.”

Bucky scowled at her. “Yes. Which is why I'm saying it won't happen, and why did I ask you out for a drink anyway?”

“Because you need someone to tell you the obvious?”

“Nat, just drop it, okay? It's not gonna happen.” Bucky blinked hard, and took a swallow of his beer. “You don't know everything.”

“No, but I know most things.” She held up her hands. “Okay! Dropping it!”

“ _Thank_ you,” Bucky said, only a little waspishly, he thought. Okay. So everyone knew, so he was creepy _and_ pitiful, and nothing was going to come of it. He'd have to cut the friendship off, just for a little bit, to save it. Like they'd done with his arm – hurt for a long time, but live for longer.

God, he was a dramatic, morose bastard. He took another long swallow of beer, and shook it off. “Right. That's my pathetic life, what's up with you?”

Nat raised an eyebrow, but chatted with him a little about her nebulous if-I-told-you-I'd-have-to-kill-you job, and compared some notes with him, the two of them quickly getting distracted talking about Truecrypt.

It was late when they finally left, parting ways at the entrance. Bucky pulled her into a big hug, a little surprised when she let him. “Hey,” he said softly. “Sorry I got mad at you.”

“It's okay,” she said, just as quietly. “You know you're not pathetic, Bucky. Right?”

“Mmm,” he said, and smiled when she pinched him. “Love you, Nat.”

“Love you too,” she mumbled into his shoulder.

“See you soon?”

Nat smiled, shoulders fully relaxing. “See you soon. We should do a spa day. Get our nails done and everything.”

Bucky kissed her cheek. “Let me know when you're free. I need some pretty in my life.”

“I'll e-mail you tomorrow,” Nat promised, and they went their separate ways home.

Bucky walked slow, hands in his pockets, kicking at whatever landed in his path. He was _kinda_ pathetic. And it was past time he did something about it, before he really fucked things up.

Bucky let himself into his apartment, relaxing in the soft darkness. He'd take a break from seeing Steve and Peggy, let things cool down, and it would be okay. They'd still be friends. Really good friends, even, but Bucky wouldn't let something slip, and make everything uncomfortable again.

It was best this way.

 

“Hey guys.” Bucky perched on the edge of the sofa. “Uh. We kinda...we need to talk.”

Steve and Peggy exchanged looks, and not in the way Bucky exactly expected. “Yeah,” Peggy finally said. “We do. Ehm. You go first?”

“Right.” He could leave with his dignity intact, at least. They _must_ have noticed he was crushing on them both – God, you couldn't miss it from orbit. And he'd gone and made them uncomfortable, and they were going to try and be _kind_ about reminding him that they were exclusive, and Bucky would break into a million pieces. Thank God he could go first, say his bit, and leave graciously.

And leave a hole in his life that already ached, but it would be worth it. A little time, maybe Bucky dating a bit, and they could be friends again. Maybe someday they'd trust him enough to bring back the easy ways they all had, hugging and cuddling a bit, always touching one another. Maybe. Eventually.

Bucky shifted to sit on his hands, ignoring how he wanted to reach out. “So. Uh. I kind of...I think I need some time to myself. Like a longish time. And I didn't want to just disappear on you guys.”

“What?” Peggy looked stunned. “Bucky, what do you mean?”

“Just that you've both been so kind to me, and I appreciate it! I do! I appreciate...you. Both of you.” He swallowed hard. “More than I can ever say. You've both been amazing, and I love being friends with you, I just need to not see you guys for a little bit. It's nothing you did, nothing you said,” he rushed to explain, ignoring the feeling like water filling his chest. “I just...can't. Trust me, it'll be better this way. I'll be a better friend.”

“Bucky, what's wrong?” Steve asked leaning forward and resting his hand on Bucky's knee. “If something's come up, you know you can tell us, honey.” He swallowed audibly. “You're not...I mean, you're okay, health-wise?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Of course. No, it's nothing like that, I promise.”

“So why are you _leaving_?” Peggy asked, her voice plaintive like Bucky had never heard it before. “Why can't we be friends?”

“No, no, no. We'll be friends, Peg. I swear. I just...” He took a huge breath. They deserved the truth. “Look, I'll be honest. And I'll understand if you really do need me to leave after this. For good.”

“That'll _never_ happen,” Steve growled.

“Yeah. Like you say.” Bucky hunched over, curling in on himself. “I have a massive crush on both of you. Huge. More than a crush, really, how I feel for you both. And I know nothing will come of it,” he said, all in a rush. “I know. You're married, you'd never look outside your marriage, God, I can't _blame_ you, I wouldn't have eyes for anyone else either. I remember what you said, Peg, that you just couldn't and I respect that so much and that's why...I just need a break. So I can see you as friends, and be okay with that. It's not exactly fair to you guys to have me mooning around at you, you know?”

Steve's mouth dropped open a little, and he blinked.

“I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry,” Bucky said. “I never meant to make things weird. You're just...you're both these completely awesome people, you know? And you're wonderful together, too, and I'd die before I...tarnished that. So that's it. I'm so sorry, and if you want to wait, if you want to be the ones to reach out, that's okay and I completely understand.” He stood up. “I'm so sorry.”

“Bucky...” Steve's mouth worked, and he just gave Bucky a bleak, sad look. “Don't be sorry for how you feel,” he managed.

Bucky found a smile for him, for both of them, and hoped it didn't tremble too much. “See you guys around.” And let himself out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY NOT SORRY.
> 
> Protip: You can yell at me at dietraumerei.tumblr.com, but comments on this story get pushed to my e-mail and read almost immediately. Choose your poison wisely!


	8. Chapter 8

And thus began two utterly miserable weeks of Bucky Barnes' life. He worked too much, and probably drank a little too much as well. He went for long walks at night when he couldn't sleep. And he watched Netflix while curled up tight in bed by himself during the day when he couldn't sleep.

He got dinner with Becca, who listened to the whole story, and assured him that it would be okay. “Bucky, you did the right thing,” she said, over and over. “Just give yourself a little time to heal, and then everything will be awesome again.”

Bucky nodded, and wondered what Steve was doing right then.

He got drinks with Nat, who didn't say much, but brought him a glass of water when he started to cry, and stayed with him that night, sleeping in the same bed simply so that he had someone nearby.

Becca was right, though; he had done the right thing. However painful this was, jumping every time one of them came near him, policing his every move, being so careful about what he said and yearning the whole time – that would have been worse in the long run. By far.

And it was getting better, this whole life thing. Morita was in town one night and they had a great time of it, getting dinner and catching up on gossip and talking about their respective jobs. A project came in that made Bucky grateful for his insomnia hitting, as he worked at it for nearly twenty hours straight. And life went on.

 

“Well, shit,” Steve said.

“Hmmm?” Peggy asked, looking up from the calendar.

“Nothing.” Steve flushed and looked away. “Just...I finally finished that sailor-girl design, and I was gonna take a picture and send it to Bucky. Forgot for a second.” It had only been three days since Bucky had walked out of their apartment; Peggy supposed some habits broke hard. Not that she could judge.

“Yeah. I've turned around three times today to tell him something.” Peggy looked up, meeting Steve's eyes. “Shit.”

“Shit is right,” Steve said softly. “We fucked this one up, didn't we?”

“First we tell him we don't date outside our marriage, then we promptly can't keep our hands off of him. And then when our friend very understandably asks to have a break from us, we both freeze up? Why would you think we fucked up?” Peggy said bitterly.

“He said we could be friends after a break,” Steve tried.

“Yeah, and how often has that happened in your life?” Peggy asked.

“Fuck.”

“Fuck is right.” Peggy sighed, and rubbed her forehead. “I miss him, Steve.”

“Yeah.” Steve came over and pulled her into a hug. “Hey. It'll be okay.”

“How?” Peggy rested her head on his shoulder. “He probably wants nothing to do with us.”

“You know that's not true,” Steve soothed. 

“I still wish I'd gotten to kiss him,” she said into Steve's chest.

“Really?” he asked, tilting her head up. “Peggy, seriously.”

“Yes! No. I don't know,” she said, and pressed closer to Steve. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said, gently. “I love you, Peggy. Remember, we hauled our asses to City Hall to tell a judge that?” He clinked their rings together, and kissed her. “You're my girl, and I love you.”

“But I've also got to be a grown-up, and figure this shit out,” she said, pressing even closer to him. “I was gonna just apologize if it seemed like we were leading him on, maybe talk about respecting personal space a little more. But...maybe I wasn't?”

“Peggy, what do you want?” Steve asked, sitting down and pulling her into his lap. She not-so-secretly loved this, loved feeling enveloped by Steve, safe from the world.

And she thought. Such a simple question, so easy and so stupidly hard. Such things she wanted.

“I don't know,” she finally admitted. “I think I want you to be my husband. I think I want to date Bucky – for both of us to do so. I don't know, though.” She bit her lip. “I have to think. I can't hurt you, and I don't want to hurt him any more.”

“Think,” Steve said, and kissed her brow. “I'll follow where you go, Peg.”

“What do you want?” she asked, taking his left hand and spinning the ring she'd placed on his third finger, all those years ago.

“I want what will make you happy,” he said, and smiled when she pinched him. “You know I'm poly, love. You know I care about Bucky. If, and only if, you want to try dating him, I'm willing too. Assuming he can stand to be around us again,” he added wryly.

“Pretty big assumption on our part,” Peggy said softly. “But maybe.” She paused, looking for the words. “Let me sort my head out, love. Then we'll talk to him. It's our turn, I suppose.”

 

“Buy you a drink?”

Bucky looked over at the source of the voice at his elbow and smiled. A heavyset man with a gorgeous smile stood there, blond hair french-braided back along the sides of his head.

“Thanks. Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. What're you drinking?”

“Um. Yuengling?” he offered, and took the stool next to Bucky. “Name's Foggy. Honest.”

“Bucky. I swear,” Bucky replied, and grinned at him. “You new to the neighborhood?”

“Sort of. I just needed a change of scenery, y'know?”

“I know,” Bucky said. It wasn't like this was his usual place either. “Thanks for the drink, by the way.”

“Good-lookin' guy like you shouldn't be drinking alone,” Foggy offered, and Bucky laughed.

“That's your line?”

“It got you talking to me, didn't it?” 

Bucky found he was quite enjoying himself, flirting outrageously back. Foggy was charming, handsome and very kind, and totally his type.

Well, he should have been. It was too hard, not to compare him to Steve and Peggy. Steve would never have said that, Peggy would laugh differently, there was nothing wrong with the guy he just...wasn't who Bucky wanted.

And he knew it, too.

“Hey. I'm gonna be going home alone, aren't I?” Foggy asked gently, a few beers in for both of them.

“I'm sorry.” Bucky groaned and rubbed his forehead. “It's not you, really. You're fucking fantastic, dude. I just...I'm getting over some stupid unrequited shit, and probably shouldn't inflict myself on humanity right now, you know?”

“Oh, I know,” he said fervently. “I feel you on the unrequited love. My friend Matt...” he trailed off and shrugged. “Look, it blows. But you're not exactly inflicting yourself on me. I'm good to just hang out and talk if you are.”

“Yeah. Of course.” Bucky smiled wryly. “I'm sorry about Matt.”

Foggy shrugged again and changed the topic.

They talked until the bar closed, and promised to hang out another time soon.

“Hope tonight didn't suck too bad,” he said, and Bucky leaned in and kissed him good night and thank you and I'm sorry.

“Matt's a moron,” Bucky informed Foggy, who smiled, sweet and sad. 

“Whoever turned you down's a moron,” he replied, and they hugged goodnight and Bucky turned for home. He felt more tired than heartbroken, which he supposed was an improvement.

He laughed a little, realizing how dramatic he sounded, even to himself. Fuck it, there were still gorgeous people out there, ones who wanted him back. It was gonna be okay. 

Bucky whistled to himself as he walked home under the streetlights, a sweet, sad love song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this answered a few questions ;) 
> 
> PS like a year after this scene Bucky's out at a bar and he sees Foggy who waves him over and introduces him to his boyfriend Matt and Bucky introduces Foggy to Peggy and Steve and they spend all night hanging out and making out with their respective partner(s) and high-fiving each other basically constantly the end.
> 
> (I really like Daredevil you guys.)
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for a very short chapter, but I think you'll like it anyway.

A little over weeks after Bucky had last seen him, he got a text from Steve. _Hey. Do you mind coming over for a few minutes tonight? Just want to talk to you about something._

Bucky blinked, and tried to imagine what the hell was going on. Was Steve sick? Please, God, don't let it be that. _Yeah. are you ok?_

_Yeah! nothing bad. 7 ok?_

Well then. 7 was fine, but what the hell did they want? If this was 'leave our lives forever' Steve was being awfully polite. He would be, though. He'd be so kind.

Bucky bit down on the inside of his cheek, hard, and sent a text promising he'd be there at 7. And then...fuck, he'd be useless for the three hours between then and now. And lying on his back and staring at the ceiling was pathetic, even for him.

A few episodes of TOS later, and he was walking the familiar route to Steve and Peggy's, trying not to drag his feet. There was no way this night was going to end happily, and he wanted to put it off, just a little. He'd finally reached a kind of equilibrium, had even thought about maybe reaching out to them. Maybe.

Bucky rang the doorbell instead of using his key, much to Steve's obvious puzzlement when he came to let him in. “Hey,” he said. “How's it going?”

“Still upright,” Bucky said, and followed Steve up the stairs. “How're you?”

“Fine, fine. D'you want anything to drink?”

“No, but thank you.” Rote words, wrong feeling, please let's get this over with.

Peggy was already in the living room, and Bucky said hello to her, and Steve joined her on the sofa, both of them looking nervous as hell.

Bucky swallowed hard and sat down in the easy chair. Please God, let this be quick so he could go home and start getting over it all again.

Steve ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck, uh. Sorry, I'm the one _best_ at talking about this stuff, God help us all. Right. So.” He looked at Peggy, who set her jaw and he turned and faced Bucky head-on. “Bucky, we adore you. Both of us.”

“What Steve's trying to say is that both of us feel about you the way you feel about us,” she said. “And we talked to each other, a lot. And we want to...we'd like to try a relationship with you. If you would be willing.” She smiled wryly. “I wouldn't blame you if you ran a mile. And you'd have to be in it with both of us. But...we want this, Bucky. So much.”

Bucky blinked, and looked from one of them to the other. “You want...me?”

“Don't sound so surprised,” Steve said warmly. “We're trying to figure out how we've gotten to you before someone else.”

“Well, I did literally fall on your wife,” Bucky helpfully pointed out, brain still not quite back online yet.

Peggy giggled. “I guess that helps.”

“Wait. Okay. You really want this?” He got up off the chair and went to kneel in front of Peggy, reaching for her hands. “Sweetheart, you were so certain this wasn't for you. You're okay with this? We can talk it through as long as you need, until everyone is happy.”

“I _am_ happy,” she assured him, and laughed, squeezing his hands back. “So happy. I just...whenever I thought about poly relationships, I always just saw it as sharing Steve with someone, that I wouldn't really be involved.” She blushed. “I never thought I'd fall for someone. Never thought they'd fall for me, for that matter. I wasn't supposed to want you, James Barnes, but I do.”

Bucky smiled softly, rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles. “My girl. I don't know how anyone _couldn't_ fall for you.” He raised her hands and kissed the backs, one at a time. “Both of you. Just to make it crystal clear, I want both of you.” He squeezed Peggy's hands again, then let go with his left, reaching out to Steve.

“Then we can make this work,” Steve said firmly.

Bucky laughed, and collapsed a little, but Steve was suddenly there on the floor with him, and Peggy, both of them holding him. “Shit. Sorry.”

“Don't be. God, baby, you really thought the best thing was to disappear for a little while?” Steve asked, pressing a kiss to Bucky's temple. “How long have you felt like this?”

“Since I was falling for you? Weeks,” Bucky admitted. “Since it started to hurt?” He shrugged. “Awhile. I didn't want to start acting weird around you, and I really thought I had no chance, and it wasn't fair to anybody to put us all through, well, _me_.”

“This is all my fault,” Peggy said, face stricken. “If I hadn't said that thing about never wanting to be poly...”

“Hey, no. No blaming,” Bucky scolded, pulling her into his lap, the two of them curled against Steve. “Don't blame yourself, darling. It's not really something you can assume about someone, you know?”

She nodded, and rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes for a moment. “Never dreamed it would be like this.”

Steve smiled, and leaned in to kiss her with so much tenderness Bucky looked away for a moment. “We both care so much about you, Pegs.”

“He's right,” Bucky said softly, and smiled over at Steve. “Can I kiss you? Both of you?”

In answer, Peggy sat up to wrap her arms around his neck, and kiss him. She was soft and smelled good and he dizzily thought that this was ridiculous – a perfect first kiss?

Well. He deserved as much, and he put his all into kissing her back, arms steady around her waist.

“Oh, Lord.” Peggy was breathless when they parted. “Steve, you've got to try that.”

They all burst out laughing, Bucky somehow finding the breath to demand that she not talk about him as though he were a particularly good mixed drink, Peggy responding by punching his shoulder.

Bucky was still giggling when Steve reached for him and laughed into his mouth, and Bucky let his jaw drop and oh, it was good. It was hot and Steve was strong and his hands were so gentle on Bucky's body, and it was so, so good, the two of them sighing into each others' mouths.

“Oh.” Peggy was flushed when they pulled apart. “The two of you together...” She swallowed, and grinned. “This is the best idea I've ever had.”

“Oh, so all the credit goes to you now?” Bucky teased, and she nodded firmly, and he laughed and pulled her in for a kiss. “Smart lady.”

“I am,” she agreed, and snuggled down between their bodies again. “We have a lot to talk about boys.”

“Mmmm,” Bucky agreed, resting his head on Steve's shoulder. “We really do.”

“But not tonight,” Steve said quietly. “Tonight is just for us. For this.”

Bucky closed his eyes, and tried to memorize the moment, Peggy in his lap and Steve warm and strong at his back, the two of them as close as he'd ever wanted them, and he'd _kissed_ them, really kissed them, proper kisses, and they liked him and –

– and his butt was going numb.

“Um,” he said, shifting. “Mind taking this to the sofa?”

Steve laughed and stood up, and laughed harder when Bucky overbalanced (and his leg had kinda fallen asleep too which didn't help) and fell back onto the floor, Peggy sprawling over him.

“Oh ha ha,” Bucky announced to the world, then they both helped him up and over to the sofa and he wound up in the middle somehow, all three of them sitting on top of each other. Not quite easy, but together now. Bucky took turns kissing them, let himself openly watch them kiss each other.

 

 

Bucky left late, and only because if he didn't, he was going to fall asleep on them. He kissed them both goodbye, then once more.

“Sleep well,” Peggy murmured into his ear, hugging him one last time.

“You too.” One last, last, last kiss, and he bodily pulled himself away, all but running down the back steps and outside.

And nearly running the rest of the way home. God, he'd thought the night would end differently. Kindness, maybe a little pity at the sad fucker who fell for his best friends. Gentle explanations, and he'd go home and be miserable, but at least not drag others down with him.

And now he'd gotten all he ever wanted, kissed and cuddled, and a hard pinch from Peggy because what were you _thinking_ Barnes, to just leave our life like that?

And then Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky and kissed his cheek and pouted at Peggy for hurting him and it was the best. The _best_.

And he would have more. Whenever he wanted, he'd have more.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is worth being a little late for work to post ;)
> 
> As ever, I'm on tumblr at dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have the next chapter early!

Bucky woke up smiling, and stretched luxuriously in his bed. Shit. His bed. Could three people fit in a queen size? Neither he nor Steve were particularly petite. Well, they'd make it work.

He rolled up in his quilt and gave a happy little wriggle, eyes still closed. It was a sunny September day, perfect and probably with some kisses somewhere in it. It was gonna be a _good_ day.

Bucky finally opened his eyes and groped for his phone. Group text to start the day, just a quick _Morning! Beautiful day out, sweethearts. <3_

Bucky was a sap, and proud of it.

He crawled out of bed and into the shower and still no reply – well, no worries. They slept in on days off, and also it wasn't like he wasn't going anywhere.

His phone started blinking over breakfast and he thumbed open a text from Steve. _Morning to you too, sunshine :) OK to call you?_

Bucky hit the call icon after waiting a respectable amount of time – i.e. enough to swallow his mouthful of toast – and Steve picked up almost as quickly. “Hey, sweetie.”

“Hey you. Sleep well?”

“Mmmhmm. You guys?”

“Yeah. Hey, uh. So...do you mind if Peggy and I take today for ourselves?” Steve asked, voice gone shy and uncertain. “It's nothing bad, no regrets, just...”

“Honey, of course not. Take all the time you need,” Bucky said gently. “Everything okay?”

“Basically, yeah? Just Peggy...I want to spend the day with her. She's kind of...I don't know how to put it. Freaking out, but gently?”

“Steve, just out of curiosity, were you poly before you were with her?”

“Yeah, how'd you know?”

“I have eyes,” Bucky said dryly. “Baby, she's got so much to get used to, both of you take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere.” He paused. “I just went from cutting you out of my life, to dating two people. Frankly, _I_ could probably use a day.”

Steve huffed a laugh. “Point. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Good. And hey. If it won't make things worse...give Peg a hug from me?”

“Like a hug from you could make anything worse. Of course. Be good to yourself, Bucky.”

“You too,” Bucky said, and hung up. Hell, a day to rest and think really wouldn't be bad.

For that matter, a day to do laundry and clean the kitchen, all the little things that had piled up. Not working from home so much had done wonders for his work rate (and loneliness, to be honest), but hadn't left as much time as he was used to for housekeeping. So most of the day was devoted to getting the place so that he wouldn't be ashamed to have someone over. And then mainlining British quiz shows and eating a slightly shameful volume of pizza before bed.

The next day hit a little bit of a wall – it felt strange to not pack up his laptop and head over to Steve and Peggy's to work. Bucky ate breakfast alone instead, and made himself work a little, trying to lose himself, first in a pile of e-mail, then in actually accomplishing something. He still practically leapt for his phone when the text ringtone went off.

_**Peggy:** hey. you good to come over for lunch & talking this whole thing out?_

_**Bucky:** yeah! should I bring anything?_

_**Peggy:** nah, my treat. missed my work buddy this morning ;)_

_**Bucky:** missed you too! I'll come over about 1230?_

_**Peggy:** perfect. see you soon, bucky._

_**Bucky:** see you, peg xo_

Well. Now he just had to kill an hour and a half and oh who was he kidding it was time to do his hair and critically assess every inch of his outfit and basically he was just going to drive _himself_ crazy, but all the same Bucky looked damned good when he left the house.

He let himself into the shop, a little relieved to see that Steve was just cleaning up, having obviously just finished with a client. “Hey,” he called, and Steve looked up and grinned at him and came over for a hug and oh. Oh yes. Bucky didn't have to pull himself back anymore, didn't have to police his movements. He could wrap his arms around Steve as much as he wanted, and kiss him, and be kissed back.

“Hey.” Steve leaned in for another quick kiss, arms still tight around Bucky. “It is dumb to say I missed you a little?”

“I missed you a little too, so we're dumb together,” Bucky assured him, and rested his head on Steve's shoulder for a moment. “Nnn. We'll go upstairs in a minute.”

“Lazy,” Steve teased. “You go up now. I have to clean up a few more things, but I'll be right behind you.”

Bucky nodded, and finally pulled himself away. “Peg okay?” he asked softly, and Steve nodded. “Good.”

He let himself into their living space, jogging up the back stairs and knocking before he let himself in. “Peggy?”

“In here,” she called from the kitchen, and he came in to find her making lunch. “Hi, sweetie. Thanks for coming over.”

“Well, it's such a hardship,” he teased, and held out his hand. “C'mere, beautiful.”

“Oh God. Is this the full force of a Bucky Barnes flirtation?” she asked, letting him pull her into a hug.

“'Fraid so,” he said, and kissed her lightly.

“Jesus, do it properly,” she ordered, and leaned in and kissed _him_ and Bucky might have seen stars. Definitely did, and not just the ones that ran along her collarbones.

“Um,” he said, and she laughed.

“I'm nervous about the poly thing. I'm damned sure that I want to kiss you,” she informed him, and Bucky kissed her _properly_ because he could, and she deserved it.

“You guys had _one job_ ,” Steve said, rolling his eyes as he came into the kitchen. “Lunch. _One job_.”

“Make it yourself,” Bucky said, arms still tight around Peggy's waist. “I'm busy.”

Steve pinched his side, clearly uncaring when Bucky yelped and jumped, and quickly finished making sandwiches.

They cuddled together on the big sofa over lunch, eating and catching up on gossip, finally winding up with plates cleared away and Bucky sat sideways on one end of the sofa, his toes under Steve's thigh, and Peggy just to Steve's other side.

“So!” Bucky said brightly.

“Uh,” Steve contributed.

Peggy rolled her eyes.

“Does anyone here have even the faintest idea how to go about this?” Peggy asked.

“Nope,” Bucky said. “Steve, you said you were poly...”

“In theory! I barely dated one person at a time, let alone several,” Steve protested.

“Oh good lord,” Peggy said, and Bucky broke down laughing.

“Okay, okay,” he said, when he could take a breath. “We are all intelligent people, and we all know that this starts with communication, and ground rules, right?”

“Okay,” Steve said, and paused. “Should we...write them down?”

“You planning on forgetting?” Peggy grinned at the look he gave her. “You're allowed to laugh, Steve.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Bucky said, sighing loudly. “Look, I'm coming into this, and to be honest, I really don't plan to date anyone on the side while I'm with you two. So anything goes with me, but I imagine you'll feel differently.”

“No sex unless we're both present,” Peggy said quickly, and Steve blushed.

“Um,” he said. “Can we...maybe work up to sex. It's not you,” he told Bucky. “It's just...”

“Hey, believe me, taking it slow is fine,” Bucky assured him. “I'm not in this for the hot threesome sex, although frankly I'm not _not_ in it for that. I want a relationship too. And I'd rather start slow,” he said, and reached out for Steve's hand, squeezing gently.

“Okay. We take our time. Um. We can negotiate sex when the time comes,” Peggy decided.

“And starting from the other end – kissing's okay, I guess?” Bucky said. “Even if you're not together?”

“I'm fine with that,” Steve said, and Peggy nodded.

“Okay. Hands?”

“Um. Are good?” Steve guessed, and Peggy laughed.

“Hands...hugging and cuddling with only one of us at a time is fine with me,” Peggy said. “Just not, um, sexual touching? You know?”

“I know,” Bucky assured her. “Steve?”

“Uh. Yeah, that's fine with me.” Steve dropped a kiss in her hair, clearly still deep in thought. “Bucky, love, you're not just a new toy for us. You gotta promise that you'll be honest with both of us. _Tell_ us if you feel neglected, or if you need a break for that matter.”

“I promise,” Bucky said, surprised at how touched he was at Steve's words. “Can't imagine feeling neglected, though, between the two of you. Or wanting a break.”

“Still,” Peggy said, and reached over, wrapping her hand around his calf. “I won't lie to you – Steve is my priority. By a lot. But you're important too.”

Bucky leaned in and kissed her. “Thank you,” he said, simple and soft and meaning every syllable of it.

“Have you dated a lot before?” Peggy asked curiously, and Bucky shrugged.

“Define 'a lot'? A few men, a few women. Mostly casual stuff. It's hard finding someone I fit with,” he admitted. “I'm not most people's types.” A shocking number of people won't date me, even with the prosthetic, he didn't tell them. A shocking number of people would _only_ date me because of the prosthetic, he didn't tell them.

“Most people are idiots,” Peggy said, and crawled over Steve to situate herself around Bucky, head resting on his shoulder.

“How about you, beautiful?” Bucky asked, smiling down at her. “Beating them off with sticks?”

She made a face. “Hardly.”

“Seriously?”

“Sorry, have you met me?”

“Yes! That's why I asked!”

Peggy laughed, and rolled her eyes. “You're too sweet. Bucky, I'm cranky and outspoken and strong-willed and frequently angry. I don't act right, the way people expect girlfriends to act. I'm reckless and loud and...” she shrugged. “It was a long time before I met anyone who could meet me halfway, you know? Could be my partner.”

“Oh, honey.” Bucky hugged her tightly. “You're amazing, okay? Let's make that clear. I love how reckless and wild you are. I want that in the people around me.”

Peggy giggled, and wiped her eyes. “Shit. Shit. There's two of you who... _shit_.”

“Hush now. Curl up, my girl, and take the time you need,” Bucky soothed, resting his cheek on her head and letting her hide her face in his neck for a moment. “Steve, talk to me about something else. Anything.”

“Your hair is really nice.”

Bucky blinked. “...Thank you?”

Steve was already facepalming. “Oh my God. I swear I meant to come up with a way to say that which wasn't _completely creepy.”_

Bucky laughed, stroking his hand down the length of Peggy's back. “Thanks, really. I'm getting bored with it, though. Any ideas?”

Steve tilted his head to one side, and reached over to comb his fingers lightly through Bucky's shoulder-length hair. “I don't know. I can't really picture you any other way. D'you ever put it up?”

Bucky shrugged, and tried to deflect. He did, but only when he didn't feel particularly male. “Sometimes. I was thinking about shaving part of it. Not like a full undercut, but something.”

“Like a chelsea,” Peggy said, and ran her fingers through his hair, scritching above his right ear. “That'd be gorgeous on you, Bucky.”

“Mmm, nice,” Bucky sighed, leaning into the petting. “Got any recommendations for a barber?”

“Yeah, and she's sitting in your lap,” Steve said, and Bucky laughed, nuzzling a kiss into Peggy's cheek.

“What d'you say? Want to make me pretty?” he teased, and she socked him lightly.

“You're already pretty, and you damn well know it.”

“Well, yeah...” Bucky laughed at the look she gave him, and kissed the very tip of her nose. “Right, focus my darlings. So far we've got cuddling and kissing are okay apart, and no sex just yet. A little heavy petting all right, as long as you're both together?”

This time it was Steve who hesitated, thinking a little, when Peggy nodded.

“Yeah,” he said finally, and Bucky held out his hand, twining their fingers together. “Yeah. Although...I might just watch a little, at first,” he said shyly.

“Honey, you do whatever will make you feel safe and cared-for and happy,” Bucky said seriously. “No judgement here, okay?”

Steve nodded, letting out a breath. “Sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Peggy said firmly, and tugged him over so that he lay on the sofa, his head pillowed against Bucky's stomach and on Peggy's legs.

“Hi,” Bucky said softly, and trailed his fingertips down Steve's face.

“I wasn't good-looking, growing up,” Steve said bluntly. “I still don't get it. How people can look at me and want.”

“You're very handsome,” Bucky agreed, tracing the edge of the lush English roses on Steve's throat. “But there's lots of handsome people in this world. There's only one Stevie, though.” He felt Steve swallow, and trailed his fingertips up to trace the outline of Steve's lips, touch still featherlight. “You're hot. Congratulations. But I fell for you because you're kind and funny and sarcastic, and you genuinely believe in doing the right thing, no matter how much it might hurt you. That's why I look at you and want.”

Steve just nodded and smiled, and turned to rest his face against Bucky's hand.

“Enough talking for today?” Peggy asked, and smiled at the twin nods she got in reply. “Good.”

“Just one more question,” Bucky said. “When can I take you two out?”

Steve laughed, and reached up to curl one hand around the back of Bucky's neck. “Dude, we go out to Rose of Tralee every other night.”

“Well, yeah. But I want to treat you _right_ ,” Bucky argued. “And that means date night. C'mon, you know I'll make sure you have fun,” he said. “Friday night. I'll pick you both up at seven?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Friday night.”

“Steven does not believe in your heteronormative rituals,” Peggy said, and grinned smugly at the cackle Bucky gave.

“He'll believe in _my_ heteronormative ritual,” Bucky promised, with a little kiss for Peggy, and a tweak for Steve's nose.

 

 

Bucky checked his hair in the darkened shop window one last time, then pushed through the door of the restaurant. It was nice enough that he could feel good about taking his lovelies out on a date, without being full of pretentious twats. Well, without being too full of them, anyway.

He checked with the hostess that his reservation was still on, and went to the bar to wait, only to find Peggy already there. She was dressed to perfection in a simply-cut red dress, her hair loose around her shoulders, everything a little more demure than usual. And a wicked smile already on her face.

“Hello, beautiful,” Bucky said, and sincerely meant it. He leaned in to kiss her hello, and didn't bother to do it lightly, either. No one in the world would blame him, not with the way the neckline of the dress was cut across her breasts. “Buy you a drink?”

“Already taken care of,” she said, showing him her whiskey tumbler. “Buy you one?”

“Please.” Bucky ordered a Moscow Mule and settled next to her on a bar stool. “Steve still powdering his nose?”

Peggy shook her head. “Steve sends his apologies, but he's home in bed. Back trouble.”

Bucky started, frowning. “What? No, honey. Why did you leave him at home, we could have rescheduled.”

Peggy gave him an eloquent look.

“Oh,” said Bucky.

“I know,” Peggy said, and Bucky wasn't dumb.

“Technically, I should be opposed to being used as artillery in your constant fight to get him to get over himself, you know,” he mentioned.

“Technically, probably.”

“In actuality, I would happily let you bodily fling me at him if it would help.”

“Of course.” Peggy sighed, and leaned in to kiss him, perhaps more tenderly than she'd meant to. “He refused to even text you. Said he didn't want to ruin our night.”

“He's a moron,” Bucky informed her. “But...he's not gonna be a pain about this, is he?” he asked, brow furrowing. “Be upset you went out without him?”

“No.” Peggy downed the rest of her drink and set the glass down perhaps a little too hard. “That's the worst part. He genuinely thinks we'll have a better time without him, and he'll be nothing but happy for me. He'll ask for _details_ , Bucky. Because he _cares about them_.”

Bucky gave a low whistle. “Y'know, I see why you fell in love with him, but I'm also not sure why you haven't done the world a solid and smothered him in his sleep.”

“Do you have any idea what it's like to be married to the angriest saint in the world?” she asked, and Bucky laughed, pulling her close for a kiss.

“You're a gem, Peggy. And I have an idea.”

He figured a reasonable amount of time was an hour, and it took about that long to make his idea a reality. They had a few stops to make on the way to back to Peggy and Steve's, and then Peggy was letting them in the back way, the two of them still a little tipsy, giggling and tripping their way up the steep steps.

“Honey?” Peggy called out, sugar-sweet and so utterly unlike her that Bucky, who was trying to stay quiet, had to bite down on his hand. “I'm home!”

“Peggy? Everything okay?”

“Turns out Bucky's a shitty date – oh _fuck off_ _Barnes_!” She rolled her eyes when he started cracking up and yelled down the corridor, “He's also shitty at keeping to a plan!”

Bucky followed her to the bedroom, still giggling – they'd stopped off for another drink halfway through his plan, and the bartender hadn't stinted – and melted a little when he saw Steve in bed. He was gorgeous, because of course he was, even dressed in ratty sweats and flat on his back on an electric blanket. There were lines of pain around his eyes and his mouth, and Bucky couldn't keep himself from going over and leaning down to kiss him.

“You utter dumbass.”

“Hi. You look nice.”

“Thanks. You're still a dumbass.”

“Hey, what?” Steve frowned up at him. “I'm sorry, Bucky. I wanted _someone_ to get something out of tonight.”

“And I don't want to do it without you,” Peggy said softly, coming over to sit on the other side of Steve. “We agreed on it this way.”

“All of us did,” Bucky said, stroking Steve's cheek. “Will we pair off eventually, for a night here and there? Yeah, probably. But not right now.” He smiled, all plans of cussing Steve out lost in big blue eyes. “Missed you, honey.”

“Are you both actually serious?” Steve asked.

“Do you always find it this difficult to believe people care about you?” Bucky asked, genuine curiosity in his voice.

“I know people care about me,” Steve scowled. “I didn't...Christ. You shouldn't be stuck at home with me just 'cause my back's fucked up.”

“Probably. Who promised you a fair world, though?” Bucky asked.

“I can try and make it fair.”

“And we can miss you and care about you. And get lots of takeout. And bring it home with us,” Bucky said, voice even and cheerful and utterly reasonable. “And you can eat with us. And we'll have a date. And make out. I like that last bit a lot, myself.”

Steve just stared at him. “Dude, seriously, if you backed out right now, no one would blame you.”

“I would. I do plenty of dumb shit, Rogers, but not that stupid,” Bucky informed him, then looked him over critically. “You okay to sit up if it's against pillows?”

“Yes.” Steve scowled, hard. “I just – I need help --”

“Hey,” Bucky said softly. “I'm not an asshole. You want me to go get everything on trays or whatever, while Peggy helps you get situated?”

Steve's face was burning. “I'm sorry, I just...”

“Steve, my first lover never saw me without my prosthetic. Neither did my second.” Bucky stood up, and brushed his trousers off. If he'd had his way, neither of _them_ would have seen him without it just yet. “I'm not here to take you dignity. At least not like that,” he said, with a wicked grin.

Steve looked away. “Thanks.”

“Give a yell when you're ready for food,” Bucky told Peggy, sauntering out of the bedroom. “And give asshole over there a kiss from me.”

He half expected a cranky reply from her, and frowned to himself when she didn't.

Bucky knew their kitchen as well as his own by now, and it was quick work to arrange the take-out containers nicely on a big tray he found, balancing some little plates and chopsticks around the edges. The best dim sum they could get, plus light little sweets scattered between – it wasn't a bad substitute dinner at all.

He took advantage of the break to shed his suit jacket and loosen his tie, and then Peggy called him back.

Steve was sitting up in bed now, practically ensconced in pillows, and Peggy was kneeling to one side of him, her shoes kicked off and legs tucked up neatly. Bucky put the tray down by her legs, and mirrored her on Steve's other side, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “Honey, do you really want to be alone with Peggy? If you just can't with me, right now, I understand. We can try again another night.”

“No! Please,” Steve said, turning his head carefully and reaching for Bucky's hand. “Please stay. I'm sorry, I just...please?”

“Of course I'll stay,” Bucky soothed, and raised Steve's hand to kiss his knuckles. “What are you up for, darling?”

Steve made a face.

“Fine. What are you up for, asswipe?”

Steve laughed at that at least, and squeezed Bucky's hand. “Not much. I'm sorry. Food, and talking?”

“That's basically what I had planned anyway,” Bucky pointed out, and reached for a takeout container and some chopsticks. “Adding dim sum in bed isn't exactly a hardship.”

“Oooh, what kinds did you get?” Steve asked, making grabby hands until Peggy passed him a plate. “Yum.”

They ate companionably, slow and easy, hand-feeding each other choice bits, Bucky and Peggy leaning across Steve to tease each other and him at the same time. And Bucky learned that he very definitely had a Thing for eating out of Peggy's hand. Literally.

She cleared away the dishes when they were finally done, and went to take everything to the kitchen. Bucky smiled at Steve and cuddled up to him, head resting on his shoulder. “This okay, honey?”

“Uh. No, not really,” Steve said, closing his eyes tightly when Bucky sat up and pulled away faster than should really have been possible. “I'm so sorry.”

“Don't you dare.” Bucky leaned in and kissed him, and didn't bother to be particularly gentle about it. “We'll cuddle another time.”

“First chance we get, you're coming over so I can hold you for _hours_ ,” Steve said thickly. “Fuck, I hate this.”

“It blows, doesn't it?” Bucky agreed, lacing his fingers with Steve's. “I'm so sorry you're hurting, love.”

Steve smiled wryly. “Thanks. Just...fuck. I know you won't but...don't treat me any different? I _hate_ being different.”

“Whatever you want,” Bucky promised. “But Jesus, Steve, this isn't exactly gonna change my whole concept of you, you know?” He poked Steve's bicep. “I still know who to call when I've gotta move some furniture.”

“Really?” Steve looked sour now. “You honestly aren't gonna always look at me and see the loser stuck in bed?”

“No, I'm gonna see a guy who's angry at the body he was given. Which, I feel you on that, you know?”

Steve looked stricken. “I didn't even think...”

“You never do,” Peggy said, coming into the room and sitting down next to Bucky, placing her hand over their laced fingers. “Hello, and welcome to dating Steve, Bucky. He's good and giving and kind, and sometimes he doesn't feel well and is under the impression that it cancels out everything else.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Sometimes I can't wear my arm, for whatever reason. Got a problem with that?”

“What? _No_! Jesus Christ, Bucky, no, never, who the fuck has a _problem_ with that?” Steve demanded, his voice scaling up in anger.

“You're plenty clever, he's just _really_ thick,” Peggy told Bucky.

“You ain't kiddin'.”

“Thanks for trying, though,” she offered.

“You're welcome. It's good he's so cute, huh?” Bucky asked.

“Probably. Although for the record, that's two of us that don't mind about the whole no-prosthetic thing, in case you had any doubts,” Peggy said firmly.

“I didn't, but thank you anyway,” Bucky said.

“You're both kind of horrible,” Steve pointed out.

“No, I'm not,” Bucky said calmly. “I care about you. And I need you to know that, and that I adore _all_ of you, Steve. Tonight is lovely and fun and cozy, and when I come over and you hold me for hours and we watch an entire season of Community _,_ I will still adore all of you. And the next time your body is winning out, I'll do anything I can to cheer you up, or let you know you're not alone, or _leave_ you alone if you need it. Get it?”

Steve flushed and looked away. “Got it,” he mumbled, and Bucky leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“Cheer up, sweetheart. I'll even leave you alone now.”

“Please don't,” Peggy said, and smiled at Steve, leaning over to kiss him. “What? You won't tell him, so I'll tell him for you.”

Bucky grinned at them both and gracefully changed the subject. No more needed to be said anyway, that night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr at dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	11. Chapter 11

Peggy finished buzzing the hair just behind his ear, and dusted his shoulders off. “Well? Am I good or what?”

Bucky laughed, and preened a little for her. “You're very good,” he said, and ran his hand across the short, soft fuzz that covered the right side of his head. “Thank you.”

“You're very welcome,” Peggy said, and finger-combed the long locks she'd left behind. “Want me to put it up for you?”

“No,” Bucky said, far too quickly. “It's fine like this, honest.”

“Okay.”

“I'm non-binary –sometimes – and I only put my hair up when I don't feel male,” Bucky said, and bit his lip, hard.

“Okay,” Peggy said, her hands still combing through dark waves.

“Uh. Sorry. I was going to come up with a more graceful way to tell you.”

“You know that doesn't change how I feel about you, right?” Peggy said gently.

“I know.” Bucky took a deep breath. “I'm sorry. It's just, not many people know and...I don't know.” He shrugged. “I look sort of dumb anyway, when I femme up. I have a really masculine face, you know?”

“You have a beautiful face,” Peggy said, and tipped his chin up so she could kiss him. “And I cannot imagine you not being beautiful.”

Bucky closed his eyes tight, but he was smiling. “Can...can you tell Steve? I _know_ he won't care, fuck, he'll buy t-shirts with supportive messages for all of us and ask what brand of make-up I like, I _know_. I just hate telling people.”

Peggy started laughing at Bucky's comment about the t-shirts, and ended with arms around his chest, her chin resting on his shoulder so she could smile at him in the mirror. “It's like you've met him.”

“He's...enthusiastic, about people he cares for. Isn't he?”

Peggy smiled. “He is. It's amazing when you're the target, I promise.”

“I believe you.” Bucky smiled, and tilted their heads together. “You're completely besotted with him, aren't you?”

“Shh, don't tell anyone, it's a secret.”

Bucky giggled, and laid his arms over hers. “It's beautiful to see. I don't tell you both enough, but I love how much you love each other.”

“Thank you.” Peggy kissed Bucky's ear. “And I promise I'll tell Steve about you being genderfluid. And do I even need to tell you that if anyone messes with a single hair on your head, Steve and I'll turn 'em into paste?”

“I do believe you'd enjoy it, Margaret.”

“You have no idea, James.”

 

 

 

“Hullo darling, how was your day?” Peggy asked, turning her head for a kiss while still stirring the pasta sauce.

“Busy.” Steve stretched a little, his back cracking. “Bucky left already?”

“PT appointment. He'll come back in a few hours. Taste, please,” she said, holding out the wooden spoon.

Steve tasted, and declared it acceptable. “How'd your day go?”

Peggy shrugged. “Dull. Oh, one thing, though.”

“Hmm?”

Peggy hesitated, just a moment – Christ, Bucky was right, this _was_ hard to say. “I had a little chat with Bucky while I was cutting his hair.”

“Everything okay?” Steve asked, looking up quickly.

“Everything's fine. Except our boyfriend is occasionally going to be our genderqueer lover, and he's too shy to tell you. I'm not sure he meant to tell _me_ ,” she admitted.

“Oh. Okay. Pronouns?”

“Nothing specified,” Peggy said. “He does feel, and present, as male a lot. So he/him for now?”

“For now. I'll ask him when, um, he feels okay to talk about it with me,” Steve said quietly.

“Oh, God, no,” Peggy said, ignoring dinner for the moment. “It's not like that, Steve. He's just _really_ shy about it.” She smiled a little. “Our Bucky knows you'd take him however he comes.”

“Good,” Steve said, a little mollified. “Watch the sauce, it'll burn on the bottom.”

“Thanks. Start boiling water for the noodles, please?” Peggy stirred carefully, but no harm done. “Corner him when he gets in, tell him you're wild about him, and all will be well.”

 

Peggy had set aside a bowl for Bucky when he got back, but he seemed to be taking an awfully long time to get through the living room. She went to check, and found him with Steve on the sofa, the two of them tangled together. Steve sat normally, and Bucky was kneeling in his lap, facing him, their arms wrapped around each other and kissing like it was going to start being rationed tomorrow.

She smiled to herself, and slipped back into the kitchen. Dinner could wait, and her brilliance deserved a glass of wine.

 

 

 

“Nope, not enough,” Steve mumbled into the back of Bucky's neck.

Bucky groaned, and rolled over in Steve's arms, pressing their foreheads together. “We watched Tangled _and_ Frozen! What more do you want?”

“More cuddles. Infinite cuddles.” Steve said seriously, and hugged Bucky tightly. “Wanna play with your hair and kiss you for ages.”

“So do that already.”

Steve grinned, and ran a hand down Bucky's side, hand heavy on his hip. “That's right. I can, now.”

“Uh huh.” Bucky was pretty sure his smile was ridiculous. “Hang on.” He moved his iPad to safety and shifted some pillows around so they were in a little nest of soft things. “Here, switch with me so you're not lying on cold metal.”

“Shit, does it hurt you?” Steve sat up and reached for Bucky's hand, holding the prosthetic forearm gently. “You should have said.”

“I'm fine,” Bucky said, a little bemused. “But I imagine you'd rather not lie down on an appliance.”

“It's not a toaster, it's your _arm_ ,” Steve said, a little testily. “And it's not cold. Or uncomfortable.”

“Okay,” Bucky said quietly, then pulled Steve into a hug, laying them both down, pointedly on his left side. “Thank you.”

“What fucking losers have you dated before?” Steve demanded.

“Almost no one since I got the arm, actually,” Bucky admitted. “I just don't want to hurt you by accident. Or anything.”

“You're not,” Steve said, voice gentling again. “Everything is wonderful. C'mere.” He tucked Bucky's head under his chin and tangled their legs together. “See? Awesome."

“Yes, you are,” Peggy said from the doorway, smiling at both of them. “I need a camera.”

“Use my iPad,” Bucky said. “But get in here with us, love.”

Peggy giggled and sprawled across them, grinning madly up at the iPad she held at arm's length. Bucky made a mental note to find the image later, set it as his desktop or something. “Mind some company, or is Steve still making up for his missed date?”

“Doll, I will never mind you,” Bucky told her, wiggling so she fell between himself and Steve and kissing her soundly.

“What he said,” Steve agreed, and went for his own kiss, his free hand coming up to cup one of Peggy's breasts.

Peggy made a happy noise, pushing into his hand, then turned her head to demand another kiss from Bucky.

“May I?” he asked softly, mirroring Steve, his hand barely touching Peggy.

“Please,” she purred, and Bucky cupped her breast in his hand, rubbing his thumb across her nipple as he kissed her again. They both smiled, hearing Steve's indrawn breath, his obvious pleasure.

“Hello, you,” Bucky said, and Peggy rolled over into his arms, throwing one leg over his hip, the two of them still kissing deeply. He reached down, cupping his right hand around her bottom, left just resting, as lightly as he could, on her back.

“Hello yourself,” Peggy mumbled, weaving her fingers through his hair, and kissing him, again and again. “Oh, you're wonderful.”

Bucky laughed, and kissed the curve of her jaw, just below one ear. “So're you. Oh, darling.”

Peggy sighed happily, scritching Bucky's scalp. “Steve, check in with us.”

“Steve is very, very _very_ well,” he offered, voice a little thick.

“Good,” Bucky said, and pushed himself up a little so he could meet Steve's eyes, check for himself. “What do you want, sweetheart?”

“To watch,” Steve said, after a long pause. “Just, right now...to watch.”

Bucky nodded, and reached over Peggy to curl his hand around Steve's face. “You know you're very dear to me, right?”

“I'm not _that_ thick, Bucky.”

“Yes you are,” Peggy said, turning around and pulling Steve down for a kiss. “Watch all you want, darling, but don't be afraid to join in.”

“I _know,”_ Steve said, exasperated now. “Can't a guy give into his voyeurism around you two?”

“Nope.” Bucky said, and laughed, burying his face in the side of Peggy's neck, kissing the line of her throat and down to her collarbones. “Not that I blame you. We're gorgeous.”

“Modest, too.”

“You didn't contradict me,” Bucky said, very happily burying his face in Peggy's cleavage, pressing kisses to the soft skin of her chest.

“Well, you're not wrong.”

“The romance is overwhelming here, guys,” Peggy said dryly, but she was still stroking Bucky's hair, letting her fingers trail over his neck and down his back.

Bucky laughed, and tickled her, rolling over so she lay atop him and between his legs. “What would you rather, sweet girl? I don't know any poetry. I can't sing for shit.” He framed her face in his hands. “All I can do is adore you,” he said softly, and she shivered and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard.

Bucky's eyes were closed and he was breathing hard when she came up for air. “Gimme a minute,” he said quickly, hands resting on her shoulders. “Just – need a minute. Or else we gotta talk about beyond heavy petting _real_ fast.”

Peggy laughed and rolled off of him and into Steve's side. “Tell me about it. Okay. Breathe. Steve, hands off. 's rude to have sex in front of our boyfriend.”

“Bucky doesn't mind,” Steve mumbled into her throat.

Bucky went quiet for a moment, then said, “If Bucky can get himself off at the same time, Bucky very much does not mind.”

“I'm okay with that,” Peggy whimpered. “Fuck, Steve...”

“Really?” Steve sat up and looked at them both. “We shouldn't be deciding this now, probably.”

“Probably,” Bucky agreed, and sent Steve a desperate look. “I don't want to be sensible. I want to get off to the sound of you and Peggy, wanna know you'll be here to kiss when it's all over, want to just...not give this up.”

Steve nodded slowly, and leaned over Peggy to kiss Bucky. He worked him over with mouth alone, tongue licking Bucky's lips apart, dropping his jaw, kissing him so deeply.

Bucky groaned into Steve's mouth and popped the button on his jeans, slipping his hand down the front to grasp himself.

“Christ,” Peggy swore, and Bucky was vaguely aware she was wriggling next to him, presumably getting out of her underwear, and Steve was slowly popping the buttons on the front of her dress.

Bucky moaned and reached over with his free hand, slipping his thumb into Peggy's mouth and wailing when she suckled on it. “Steve, Steve, please, I want you to – want to see.”

Steve smiled and broke the messy kiss with a final squeeze of Bucky's ass, then turned to Peggy.

Bucky watched as long as he could, the way Steve rucked up Peggy's dress around her hips, the way he kissed her so deeply, the way he pushed her bra away to suckle at her breasts. He could see the outline of Steve's cock against the front of his jeans, moved his own hand a little faster in response to Steve undoing his pants and shoving them down just enough.

Bucky managed to watch until Steve slid into Peggy, easy and familiar as anything, then he threw back his head and just listened, for as long as he could stand it.

Which wasn't nearly long enough before his cock was shaking, and he came with a cry as Steve and Peggy made love in the bed next to him. She had her legs splayed wide, dress open to her waist, and Steve was moaning, his mouth everywhere on her. Peggy clutched at his back, whispered soft words, darling and love and all good things as Steve's hips worked and he reached between them to finger her.

Peggy made soft, hitching noises with her breath, and Bucky hesitated, then deemed it safer to watch but not touch. Not yet; they really _should've_ talked this over first. Well, soon. He cleaned himself off with a tissue and curled up on his side, watching his boyfriend and girlfriend move together. They were quick, both of them flushed and moaning, and Peggy fell first, her hips snapping as she wailed and shook, Steve right behind her.

They rested amidst the tangle of blankets and pillows, bodies still pressed together.

“Hey,” Steve said, and smiled at Bucky from where his head was pillowed on Peggy's chest. “You good?”

“What kind've a dumb question is that?” Bucky said, and moved a little closer.

Peggy reached out her arm and started petting his hair again. “Like what you see?”

“Honey, I could watch you do the dishes and love every minute of it,” Bucky said truthfully. “And watch this one dry, for that matter,” he said, nodding at Steve.

“Well, yeah. 'Cause you'd be sitting there not working, of course you'd love it,” Steve teased.

“Oh, bite me, you know that's not what I meant,” Bucky scoffed, and hesitated. “Can I kiss you? Both of you? Please?”

“Yes, of course,” Steve said, sounding surprised, and he pulled Bucky a little closer and kissed him sweetly. “Everything okay? For real. If you need a minute, don't be afraid to say.”

Bucky shook his head shyly, and kissed Peggy. But he did think about Steve's question. “Nothing's bad,” he said finally. “Just...we should lay down better boundaries. When we're not being run by hormones. Stuff I didn't even think of,” he confessed. “Like whether I can touch when you two have sex, or you'd rather I only watch. Like...like if you want me here for the afterglow...”

“Yes,” Peggy said firmly, and drew him in, his head resting on her shoulder. “You need contact, baby, and so do we.”

“What she said,” Steve confirmed, and he reached out and took Bucky's hand and just held it.

For all that it was the most simple and innocent of contacts, Bucky's breath stuck in his throat for a moment. This was real intimacy. “Thank you,” he said, and nuzzled a little closer to both of them.

“We'll talk properly,” Peggy promised. “You're my Bucky, and you deserve the respect of knowing where you stand.” She smiled softly, and wrapped her arm around his shoulders. “You deserve our caring, darling.”

Bucky smiled, and ignored how it wobbled. Better to breathe out deep and rest half on Peggy and half on Steve, knowing he was cared for. Steve was rubbing his back lightly, almost petting him, and they lay together until it didn't hurt to be apart.

 

 

 

They didn't talk that day, too lazy and happy to concentrate that much. Bucky went home to sleep, but was back early the next morning.

Restless and somehow tired, they felt off. And they felt like a they. And they closed their laptop and went to go find Peggy and ask for a few minutes of her time.

“God, yes, please, I need a break,” she said, and stood up, pulling Bucky into a hug. “What is it, sweetheart?”

Bucky hid their face in her shoulder for a moment, gathering courage. Right, start easy. “Feeling weird. Can we just crash on the sofa for a minute?”

“God, you make it sound like a chore,” Peggy chided, arms going a little tighter. “Bucky-love, what can I do?”

They shrugged, but pulled back to meet Peggy's gaze, kind eyes and that strong, loving face. “I'm sorry. I know you're not as touchy as Steve...”

“No. But if you need touch, you can _always_ come to me,” she said firmly. “Don't you dare be afraid of that. I'll ground you and love on you and whatever you need. Okay?”

“Okay.” Bucky smiled shyly. “And...uh. I'm not male right now.”

“Okay,” she said, and leaned in to kiss them. “C'mon. We've got a sofa and you need contact.”

“Thanks,” Bucky said, and followed her up the stairs, trying not to shake. It was okay. Peggy had kissed them, was going to hold them and do whatever needed doing to make them comfortable. It was _okay_.

They curled up on the sofa with a few more kisses, Peggy's hands always touching, on the back of their neck, on the small of their back, holding their hand. It was easy to ground, easy to feel at home here with this amazing woman.

Bucky rested their head on Peggy's lap, grinning when she scritched their scalp. “Feels good.”

“Good,” she said, long nails digging in amongst their thick hair. “Oh, look at you, gorgeous.”

“Gorgeous yourself,” they accused, and smiled up at her. “Peggy, do my face for me? A little makeup, I mean?”

“Of course, love.” Peggy touched their mouth lightly. “How dramatic do you want to go?”

“Not at all.” Bucky stretched out. “I just want to look a little femme, please.”

Peggy leaned over to kiss them indulgently. “My beautiful one. Whatever you want.”

“You're something really special, you know that?” Bucky asked softly, catching her with a hand on her cheek.

“Caring for you is easy as pie, you know that?” Peggy parroted back, and kissed them again. “Look, you can keep distracting me _or_ you can get your face done up, but not both.”

“I'll be good,” Bucky promised, sitting up and smiling at Peggy as sweetly as they could.

“See that you do.” She kissed their brow and went to go get supplies, coming back with an absolutely enormous box, which unfolded neatly into shelves of cosmetics. “Just a little femme, coming right up,” she promised, and set to work. The lightest bit of powder to even out Bucky's skin, and a tiny bit of work with a brush to neaten their brows. She moved onto their eyes – mascara, not that they needed it as she told them, a little bit of color to their lids, and some liquid liner so that their eyes glowed. A touch of lipstick and some blusher to finish it all off, and Peggy kissed their cheek before holding out a mirror.

“Oh, Pegs. Thank you. It's perfect.” Bucky touched the messy bun they'd put up, strands of hair falling down and framing their face, and smiled over at her. “I look beautiful.”

“You always look beautiful,” she said, and they kissed, easy as anything.

“Oh, now, that's a sight for sore eyes,” Steve said from the doorway, leaning against the frame and smiling softly. “My pretty ones.”

Bucky blushed, and smiled at him, looking up through their lashes. “You really...you don't mind?”

“Why would I mind?” Steve asked, coming over and kneeling next to them. “You look beautiful, Bucky. Are you happy?”

Bucky nodded hard.

“Then I am too,” Steve said, and kissed them lightly. “Do you want me to switch pronouns for you, darling?”

Bucky shook  their head, and leaned into Peggy, suddenly shy.  They hadn't  _hidden_ this from Steve, exactly, just... it was the first time either of them had seen them actively  _looking_ genderfluid . 

“Wait, no,” they said quickly and met Steve's eyes. “Just...can you use 'they'? Just sometimes. I'll let you know. Please? I mean, if you forget, that's okay, I won't be upset just...I feel like a they. Sometimes.”

“Oh, honey. Anytime you want me to,” Steve said, reaching out to cup their face in his hands. “They and them. Got it, beautiful.”

Bucky smiled shyly. “I don't feel like a girl, exactly. Just...want to be in between. And look pretty.”

Steve nodded, and leaned in for another kiss. “You look wonderful. Both of you,” he added, leaning over to kiss Peggy too. “God, I'm lucky.”

“Yes, you are,” Peggy said, and Bucky laughed, and reached for another kiss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may notice that there's finally a finite number of chapters up there -- I've outlined the whole thing! Hooray! There may be one or two more chapters by the end (this thing keeps growing like you wouldn't believe), but this is roughly the final shape.
> 
> I'll be updating tags as I go along -- this is the first of the sexytimes chapters, but I'll warn for things like kink or explicit erotica both in the tags and at the beginning of each chapter as required.
> 
> I'm on tumblr at dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE POLYAMORY NEGOTIATION. There's nothing as good as in-depth boundaries discussion. Also, here, have some Steve/Peggy sex.

“You're so serious and sensible. It's what I like best about you both,” Peggy said dryly, watching Bucky and Steve tickle-fight on the living room floor.

“He started it,” Bucky said quickly, pointing.

“They kept it going,” Steve said just as quickly, pointing back.

“You're each as bad as the other,” said Peggy, and wished for a drink. “ _If_ you don't mind, gentlemen – sorry, _dears_.”

Bucky smiled, and blew her a kiss.

“Right,” Peggy said and sighed, opening up her laptop. “So one thing we haven't talked about is how public we want to be about this.”

“I don't want to hide anything,” Steve said quickly, his arms coming around Bucky's waist. “I want to tell people.”

“Me too,” Bucky said, and grinned a little, nudging their head against Steve's shoulder. “I also want a cut of all bet winnings. You just _know_ someone had a bet on us.”

“Ten percent, at least,” Peggy agreed. “And yes. I have nothing to be ashamed of, and everything to be proud of.”

Bucky gave her an absolutely blinding smile. “Yes. Exactly.”

“And hey,” Steve said, giving Bucky a little nudge. “I want to show you off in any gender.”

Bucky nodded, but didn't comment, just settled down a little closer to Steve.

Peggy continued down her checklist. “Okay, so we already established that kissing and cuddling anytime is fine, petting above the waist is fine if Steve and I are together, and we're not quite ready for sex just yet. Any changes to that?”

“I'm still good with that,” Bucky volunteered, stretching out so that their head was in Steve's lap.

“Me too,” Steve said, playing with Bucky's necklace. Peggy had found it, a pretty glass flower on a fine silver chain, and given it to them the day before. Bucky hadn't taken it off yet.

“Okay. And, uh, more recently.” Peggy looked over at them. “I didn't _mind_ having sex with you there, Bucky. But...maybe not again?”

Bucky nodded, their hand curling around Steve's at their throat. “I'd rather not,” they said quietly. “It was nice, but kind of divisive.”

“It was?” Steve asked, brow furrowing. “Fuck, I'm so sorry. Both of you.”

“Hey, we agreed to give it a go,” Bucky said, stroking his thumb across Steve's knuckles. “And I don't regret it. But...Steve, you said I'm not your pet. Except not being able to touch, to be close but not...not allowed to be a part. That was like being a pet,” he said softly. “A toy to be put aside.”

Peggy nodded, and Steve made a soft, sad sound. “It didn't feel right, like we were teasing you?” Peggy said, and Bucky confirmed with a nod. “Like we got human contact, but you weren't allowed it. That's why I wanted you there for the afterglow,” she said. “It was aftercare, wasn't it?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, nestling closer in Steve's lap. “It really was. Stop martyring yourself, asshole,” they added, head-butting Steve's stomach. “I certainly like being in bed with both of you. Just with better boundaries next time.”

“Still.” Steve frowned, and raised Bucky's hand to kiss the back of it. “Right. So when we're all together, should we just agree that hands and mouths on bare skin above the waist is where it ends? And no renegotiating in the moment.”

“I'm good with that,” Peggy volunteered, and Bucky nodded. “Plenty of fun, without forcing Bucky to be left out.”

“Exactly,” Bucky said. “You guys do whatever your hearts desire on your own time, of course.”

“And you too,” Peggy said firmly. “Though I _would_ like to know if you go beyond kissing with anyone else?”

“Ditto,” Steve said carefully.

“Steven Grant Rogers, if you don't speak your mind, this is not going to work,” Peggy said, and Bucky raised an eyebrow. “I'm not psychic, he just has obvious tells. You'll learn them.”

Steve bit his lip. “Look, I know I have absolutely no right to ask this of you but...”

“Stevie, ask anyway,” Bucky said, sitting up and crossing their legs so they faced Steve, nearby but not touching.

“I don't want to share you,” Steve mumbled to his hands. He looked up quickly and smiled at Bucky, then dropped his eyes again. “I don't _want_ you to have anything with anyone but me and Peg. I'm sorry, I know it's selfish and I wouldn't ever make you promise that, but I want you all to myself. And Peggy, of course.”

Bucky laughed, and cupped Steve's face in his hands. “Oh, sweetheart. That's not a crime. Look, I _really_ don't plan on dating on the side – for one thing, I don't have time to tend to three partners – but if I somehow manage to meet someone who I want to date _and_ feel like it's fair and possible, I'll sit down and talk it out with you guys first, okay?”

“Talk it out with Steve,” Peggy said quietly. “I don't want to know details.”

“All right, love,” Bucky said gently, turning and reaching for her hand. “Hey, you. We've got plenty of room in the cuddle pile.”

Peggy laughed, and squeezed their hand. “Thank you, but unlike the two of you, I don't require another human being touching me at all times. And _one_ of us should take notes and stuff, at least.”

“Fine, be all normal,” Bucky announced, curling back up on Steve's lap. “For those of us who are touch-starved, Steve is a godsend.”

Peggy laughed, and threw a pillow at him. “As much as we all cuddled? Touch-starved, really?”

Bucky shrugged. “Before I met you guys, I mean.” They smiled shyly. “My last boyfriend made you look like...well, us,” they said.

“Oh, Bucky.” Peggy did slide off of the sofa then, and leaned over to kiss them softly. “Good thing we've got you now.”

Bucky smiled into the kiss, and the way Steve petted the short, soft hair on the side of their head. “He was fine, just a bad match. But yeah. Glad you've got me now.”

“Just out of curiosity, do you get more affectionate when you're a they?” Peggy asked, sitting against the sofa and snagging her laptop. “It feels like you are.”

Bucky shrugged. “Maybe a little. I still don't let most people know I'm genderfluid and you've seen how hard it is, even when I completely trust the people I'm telling. So, maybe not naturally, but because I'm still sort of scared of everything around it...yeah?”

“You never have to be afraid with us,” Steve said, leaning over to kiss them, feather-soft.

“I _know_. I really do. Now kiss me properly, Rogers, Jesus Christ,” Bucky demanded, and Peggy laughed when they got a kiss that left them obviously a little bit dazed.

“Serves you right,” she said.

“And how,” Bucky said, and blinked a few times. “Wow.”

“What does it feel like when you go all nonbinary?” Peggy asked, then covered her mouth with her hand. “Shit, that's really rude, isn't it? Fuck, I'm sorry...”

“Hey, don't be,” Bucky said, and smiled at her, settling back down on Steve's lap. “I don't mind you asking. It's hard to explain, though. It's like...gender isn't a big deal to me generally, you know? And most of the time, I feel like a man and dress like one and feel right in a very masculine body. But sometimes...like, if you asked me describe the body that feels _right_ for me right now, I wouldn't describe a cock, for one thing. I'd want more curves, a little more body fat so I was softer, more feminine. A face that wasn't a perfect square,” they said, wrinkling their nose. “Prettier. And I want to wear pretty things and smell sweet and wear makeup. But not be female, either. I don't want a vagina, and I like my flat chest.” They sighed, and smiled. “Sometimes the body stuff is frustrating. But I like being able to play with clothes more when I'm enby, and change how I look in ways I don't really care about when I'm masculine. I hope that makes some kind of sense?”

Peggy nodded. “It does. Thank you.” She smiled and reached for them again, just touching fingertips. “I think your face is very beautiful, Bucky.”

“Thank you,” Bucky said quietly. “While we're asking questions that might be kind of rude...you mentioned aftercare, earlier. Do you guys, um, play?”

“From time to time,” Steve said. “Do you?”

“I'm pretty picky,” Bucky admitted. “Very picky, actually. But yeah. When I can get comfortable.” They paused, and smiled a little, very shyly. “Look, this is getting way ahead of where we are, but I could definitely see myself subbing for either of you. If you wanted.”

Peggy's face lit up, and she came over to kneel beside Bucky, lifting their chin with one fingertip. “Oh, yes. Yes, please, darling. Steve?”

Steve smiled, and leaned over to kiss Peggy lightly. “I am absolutely okay with sharing my domme with Bucky.”

Bucky sighed, and went almost boneless in Steve's lap. “I'm going to die of happiness and sexual exhaustion, and I don't care in the least.”

Peggy laughed, and trailed her fingertips down their throat, clearly very pleased at the way Bucky had already given themselves over. “Oh, no, darling. I won't let you.”

Bucky shuddered, and made a soft noise. “Peg, seriously, we both know it's too early for this. But when the time comes...”

“I'll make you fly,” Peggy promised, and leaned over to break the moment with a kiss. “By the way, Steve's a switch, so both of us domming you is an option.”

Bucky made a high-pitched noise. “ _Die. of. happiness._ ”

 

 

 

“ _Seriously_?” Becca rolled her eyes. “Of course. Of fucking course.”

“What?” Bucky demanded.

“Of _course_ my brother is dating not one but two of the hottest people to walk this earth,” Becca said, pouting. “ _Two_ of them. It's not fair, you're not leaving enough for the rest of us.”

Bucky laughed and stuck his tongue out at her. “Sorry, not sorry.”

“ _Ughhh_.” Becca rolled her eyes. “I'm happy for you. I _guess_.”

“Your graciousness has been noted,” Bucky said smugly. “And for real, you need to come out with us for a drink sometime.”

“Once work lets up a little, I promise I'll be there,” she said. “Oh, uh. How much do Mom and Dad know?”

Bucky hesitated. “Right now, nothing.”

Becca nodded. “You gonna tell them? You know I've got your back on this.”

Bucky chewed his lip. “I should. I mean, God knows I'm not ashamed of dating two people. And it feels wrong to hide this. But.”

“But,” Becca agreed. “They can just about be okay with both of us being queer.”

“Yeah, I already feel like they're stretched as much as they can be.,” Bucky admitted. “But I don't want to _hide_ these awesome people in my life...”

“Hey. They love you. And I'll be there if you want me to,” Becca said seriously. “They got to be okay with you liking men, they'll be okay about this.”

Bucky shrugged, and gave her a sad smile. “Look, Christmas is a long ways away, and that's the earliest I'll see 'em. If everything's still working out then, I'll tell them.”

Becca nodded, and took a drink from her glass. “Sounds like a plan. So, how's the weightlifting going?”

“Fuckin' awesome,” Bucky said, and they left the topic for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

“Promise you'll call one of us when you get there?”

“I promise,” Bucky said, a little bemused. “Peggy, I'm taking the train. I'll text you about how bored I am sometime around Philadelphia.”

“Fine, I won't care about you, then,” Peggy informed him, and yelped when Bucky picked her up in a hug and kissed her soundly.

“Ha ha, you care about me,” he teased. “I promise I'll call when I get to my hotel. Be good, loves, and I'll see you in a week,” he said, and turned to give Steve his hug and kiss goodbye.

“Have...fun?” Steve offered, and Bucky laughed.

“A week with a load of security dweebs? It'll definitely be fun. Tony Stark's supposed to show up at some point, and that is _definitely_ fun. Or so we'll tell ourselves the next morning,” Bucky said, and pulled Steve in for another kiss. “I have to go seven days without this. Not fair.”

“You're the one with the big important presentation at the big important conference,” Steve pointed out. “Be less awesome at your job, then you can stay here all the time.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Okay, I am _definitely_ going now. Talk to you soon, sweethearts.”

“Have fun,” Peggy said, and physically shoved him away from Steve and out the door, because she was very helpful like that.

She closed the door and turned to meet a very sheepish-looking Steve. “I miss him already,” he said.

Peggy groaned, and thunked her head against his chest. “Saddo.”

“So you miss him too, huh?”

“I refuse to answer that.” She looked up and met her husband's eyes. “Yes.”

Steve laughed and dipped his head to kiss her. “My Peggy. You've got it bad.”

“You've got it worse,” she shot back, and wrapped her arms around Steve's neck, letting him take her weight. “Steve, we have a boyfriend.”

“Mmmhmm.” Steve kissed just under her ear, then a little behind. “I have a boyfriend. And a wife. Who I love very much.”

“You're unbearable,” Peggy mumbled, but let her head drop back. “Oh.”

“Tell me more about how much you can't stand me,” Steve deadpanned. “You know it gets me going.”

“Oh, you _asshole_ ,” Peggy moaned, while Steve kissed his way down her throat to the neckline of her dress, his big hands wrapping around her waist. “Oh, God.”

“Steve, actually, but I see where you made the mistake,” he said, and gently laid her down on the stairs.

“Are you actually going to fuck me on our staircase?” Peggy asked, propping herself up on her elbows and peering between her legs, where Steve lay.

He mouthed her breast through the thin fabric of her dress, breathing hot so she could feel, and she bit back a sound. Asshole.

“Yes.” Steve kissed his way down her belly, the points of her hips. “Love you, Peggy. Love you, love you, my beautiful girl.”

“Oh, Steve...” Peggy let her head drop back when Steve rucked up her dress and kissed her through her knickers, mouthing the cotton fabric. “Fuck, fuck, fuck...”

Steve laughed and she felt it as a warm puff, his hands holding her hips steady as he nosed aside the crotch of her knickers, his tongue flat and warm on her vulva.

“Oh, yes,” she breathed, no longer caring that a step was digging into her back. “Yes, please, oh please.”

Steve obliged, his tongue, pointed, just barely in her, then pulling it out to lick her clit, warm and soft and darting and she moaned as he sucked, very gently, his tongue moving a little faster.

Peggy whimpered, trying to keep her voice down, to not _encourage_ the bastard, the wonderful man she'd married, oh God she was lucky, so lucky, that Steve Rogers loved her and she loved him and they could sprawl on their back stairs for a quick fuck, just a little orgasm to start the day after they'd sent their boyfriend off into the world and she loved him, she loved him, he did such wonderful things to her.

The orgasm came slow and easy, melting her to her bones, making it so easy to spread her legs and take Steve in, press kisses to his throat, to the roses that bloomed there. He was so beautiful, her wild man, and everything was so good. She kissed him through his orgasm, hummed when she felt him come and warmth and wet dripped down her thighs, and they stayed together so so close for as long as they could, her legs locked around his hips.

“I love you,” she whispered. “My Steve. You're magnificent.”

“Love you too,” he murmured, resting his head on her shoulder, kissing her lazily, the two of them lying awkwardly on the steps but unwilling to come apart until they absolutely had to. “Fuck work. Wanna take you to bed all day.”

“You too,” she said, and squeezed, deep inside, just to make him shudder. “Mph. Tonight.”

“Tonight,” he agreed, and covered her mouth with his, kissing deep while he finally shifted, soft cock slipping out of her. “Oh, Peg.”

She laughed, lying there with her dress bunched around her waist, thighs sticky and legs still spread, and felt beautiful.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For everyone who commented: holy hell, THANK YOU! And I'm sorry if it's taking me a little while to respond; I've been away from my house for everything but sleeping most of the week, and I hate typing anything longer than, like, five words on my phone :)
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	13. Chapter 13

Bucky let himself into his apartment, and abandoned his suitcase by the door. Ugh, laundry. Ugh, unpacking. Ugh, anything but stretching out on his own bed in his own home. Hopefully with a little company.

He stripped down and took the arm off, mostly because he _could_ , then changed into soft sweatpants and a t-shirt he'd stolen from Steve and crawled into bed, messing the comforter up exactly how he liked it.

Bucky rolled over, buried his face in his pillows, and decided that coming home was the best part of travel. By far. He stretched out for his phone and sent a text to Steve and Peggy both.

_Made it home! You guys want to come over and watch a movie or sthing?_

It took about twelve seconds to get a reply from Peggy and he laughed out loud even before reading it.

_Bucky's home! Steve has a big piece that'll take all afternoon but I can come over now?_

He grinned and typed back. _yes, please, can't wait to see you. am in bed and lazy as fuck so just let yourself in_

_everything ok bby?_

_yeah, of course, really am just being lazy. missed you, sweetheart_

_didn't even notice you were gone, sweetheart ;) see you in ten._

Bucky grinned, and curled up under the covers, dozing off until Peggy got there. Which was wonderful. Until he learned that Peggy could let herself in _and_ move totally silently when she wanted to, only letting him know she had arrived when she flung herself on top of him, spreadeagled across the bed.

“Jesus God, you are not this heavy!” Bucky protested, from under a surprising amount of weight. “You're worse than a cat.”

“Hi, honey!” she said brightly, and gave him a loud, smacking kiss on the cheek.

Bucky giggled and rolled over onto his back, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her properly. God, she was soft, all curves and long hair in his face and he didn't even care. “Hi, honey,” he murmured, and kissed her again, and once more for good luck. “Oh, I missed you. I really did.”

Peggy grinned, and nuzzled his chin. “Good conference at least?”

“Mmmhmm, very good. Better to have you close again, sweetheart,” he murmured, kissing right between her eyes. “My beauty.”

Peggy just laughed, and he smiled at her. “All the mush isn't doing a damn thing for you, is it?”

“Sorry?” She kissed him softly. “I did miss you, Bucky. But Steve's better about that kind of stuff, to be honest.”

“I'll save it for him,” Bucky promised, and wrapped his arm around her waist. “You okay for a little cuddle, though?”

“Of course,” she said, face softening. “Always.” She touched his left shoulder, so lightly he could barely feel it. “You okay?”

“Fine,” he assured her. “Just haven't had it off much all week.” He smiled, and kissed her again. “You can touch, darling. You won't hurt me.”

She smiled shyly at him, and squeezed his shoulder. “Oh, Bucky. I did miss you.”

“Hah, you do like me! Your cold exterior doesn't fool me,” he teased, tickling her with kisses.

“Oh, jog on,” she huffed, and squirmed in his arms so she could lie on his chest. “You know how I feel.”

“I do,” he said, and kissed her brow. “Hey, you.”

“Mmmm?” she asked, relaxing against him.

“So, when I was there, I had most of Thursday off,” Bucky said softly. “I went and got tested. Clean on everything.”

Peggy went very still, and he froze too. Fuck, fuck, too early. “It doesn't have to mean anything,” he said quickly. “If you want to wait, we wait, honey. For as long as you need. Just...I wanted to get it done. For you guys to know, but we don't have to do anything, or change anything--”

She shut him up with a kiss. “Bucky, stop babbling. We'll talk to Steve when he gets here, all right?” She smiled up at him, and kissed under his jaw. “For the record, though, thank you. I...I'm okay with not waiting anymore, too.”

Bucky sucked in a breath, and grinned, squeezing her tightly. “Oh, Peg. I'll make you so happy. Both of you. We'll talk it out and work out what's best for all of us, and I'm going to make you so happy.”

“I know, dumbass,” she said, and pinched his side.

They took their time kissing a little bit longer, before digging out Bucky's iPad to watch Black Books until Bucky dozed off. He woke up to Steve whispering about how he didn't want to wake Bucky up. Of course.

“Too late,” he told Peggy's shoulder, his current pillow, eyes still closed. “Gimme a kiss.”

“I regret nothing,” Steve said, and leaned over and kissed him awake and oh hello, Bucky wanted to wake up like this _all the time_. “I brought dinner.”

“I need to go away more often,” Bucky said, a little dazed. He pushed himself up, though, and reached for Steve, wrapping his arms around the big man. “No, wait, changed my mind. A week without you guys sucked.”

Steve laughed, and pressed a kiss to Bucky's forehead. “I missed you too, sweetheart. Now eat something, okay? Then you can bed back down.”

Bucky nodded, but didn't move for a little bit, just wanting to stay where everything was warm, and Steve held him and he still had the marks from Peggy's dress pressed into his cheek. He turned his head for more kisses, tongue just dipping into Steve's mouth, the two of them breathing together, close and delicious.

Peggy had just finished setting out dinner when they finally made it to the kitchen, and they all ate together, Bucky wolfing his sandwich down, hungrier than he'd expected to be.

Peggy volunteered to clean up and in reply Steve hauled Bucky over one shoulder, carrying him laughing and protesting to his bedroom and gently dumping him onto the bed.

“Hi,” Bucky said, and held out his arm. “Your turn for loving.”

“Your life is so hard,” Steve informed him, “with all these people to spoil you.”

“Yup,” Bucky agreed, and smiled when Steve joined him, the two of them kissing again, limbs twining together. Steve was an infinite wonder, he decided, only a little heady from his nap and dinner and being with his darlings again.

Steve was generous of course, more likely to kiss Bucky than let himself be adored. But when Bucky held strong and started kissing his way down Steve's throat, tongue tracing the petals of the roses there, finding the beautiful script that just peeked out of Steve's t-shirt, the _Homeward Bound_ written across his collarbones – oh, he made the most beautiful sounds. “Home,” Bucky mouthed against his skin, home, home, I'm home. He laced their fingers together, in part to touch and in part to keep Steve's hands still – this was _his_ show for the moment, dammit.

He did eventually give in to Steve, and they lay in each others' arms, trading kisses back and forth, making a little game of it until Peggy came back into the room, taking Bucky's other side and nuzzling the back of his neck. “Oh, this is heaven,” Bucky sighed. “I couldn't talk you both into staying the night, could I?”

“I'm in,” Steve said quickly.

“Me too,” Peggy agreed. “If I can borrow something to sleep in.”

Bucky grinned, and wiggled his butt against her a little bit, laughing when she gave it a poke with a very hard fingertip. “I think I can find something. Steve?”

“Nah, I'm fine,” he said, and nuzzled under Bucky's chin. “We should've done this before. Love the idea of waking up with you.”

“You too,” Bucky said, and pulled himself away reluctantly, finding sweatpants and t-shirts for himself and Peggy, and rolling his eyes when Steve just shed his jeans, crawling under the covers in boxers and his ratty t-shirt.

“How sleepy are you, Bucky? Really?” Peggy asked, coming back from having changed in the bathroom.

“Honestly not that much. Oh. You want to talk?” he asked, and Peggy nodded.

“What? What's wrong?” Steve asked, sitting up and frowning. “Bucky?”

“Jesus, you're a pessimist,” Bucky said, slipping behind Steve on the bed and pulling him down to lie between Bucky's legs, back to chest. “Nothing's _wrong_ , Steve. Quite the opposite.”

“Sorry,” Steve said, and Bucky turned his head to kiss him softly.

“Sorry I teased,” he said gently. “You okay?”

“I'm okay. What is it then, O mysterious ones?”

Peggy curled up beside them, arms wrapped around her knees. “Bucky got tested and he's clean. Steve and I are clean, or at least we both were a number of very monogamous years ago.”

“Oh. _Oh_.” Steve reached out, touching Peggy's knee. “What do you want to do, love?”

“Tonight? Sleep all in one bed. And then make out in between cups of coffee tomorrow.” She grinned at Bucky's enthusiastic nod. “And then, quite soon, have sex with both of you.”

“Oh,” Steve said softly, and Bucky rubbed his chest softly.

“There's absolutely no rush,” he said. “Seriously, Steve. I'd rather wait, _keep_ waiting, than rush into this too soon and hurt you. I can always wait.” He smiled and pressed his lips against Steve's jaw, just under his ear. “Besides, look at me now. Not gonna complain, you know?”

“I'm not saying no,” Steve said slowly. “Just...let me think about it for a little bit? Please?” He turned around, clearly anxious. “It's not like I don't trust you, or don't want you or anything like that. Just...” He trailed off and shrugged, dropping his eyes.

“Hey, hey,” Bucky said, “It's all right, Steve. Think for as long as you need, darling. I'll still be here.”

“I love you,” Peggy said suddenly, diving in and kissing Steve hard. “I love you so much. I swore I'd spend the rest of my life by your side, and I've never regretted that, ever.” Another hard kiss. “I love you, Steve.”

Steve nodded and reached for her, eyes tightly closed, and he held her close, the two of them pressing against Bucky.

Bucky stayed quiet and still, letting them be together, whatever they needed, until he felt Steve relax and inhale.

“Don't you even think about apologizing right now, Rogers,” he said quickly, and Steve laughed.

“Fine. I'll skip to asking what you guys want to fall asleep watching,” he said.

“Yeah, get used to that,” Peggy informed Bucky. “Points for being quick off the mark. Also, I vote _League of Gentlemen_.”

“What?” Bucky asked.

“Oh, God, no. The nightmares. Well. Dreams. _Weird_ dreams.” Steve paused. “Think _Twin Peaks_ meets _The Wicker Man_.”

Bucky's eyes lit up. “ _Please_ Steve? I'll hold you all night,” he promised, wrapping arm and legs around Steve and kissing his cheek loudly. “Keep the bad dreams away. Chase 'em away.” He felt giggly and light and in love.

Oh. Oh yes. He was in love, and decided to show it by tickling Steve mercilessly, dumping him onto the bed when Peggy joined in so she could attack behind his knees while Bucky went for his neck and sides.

“I – hate – you – both,” Steve wheezed, when they finally let up on him.

“Eh. I'll live.” Bucky smiled and combed Steve's hair out of his face, fingertips gliding along the top of his ear. The feel of the hearing aid reminded him – “Hey. Are you okay for meds, or should one of us run over to your place real quick?”

“I'm _fine_ ,” Steve said, rolling his eyes. “I keep a little emergency stash in my bag, just in case. Okay?”

“Okay,” Bucky said mildly. “Sorry I asked.”

“Sorry I'm a dick.” Steve curled up a little tighter. “You were being nice.”

“Yes, he was,” Peggy said firmly. “Steve, not everyone is going to attack you if you dare show a second of vulnerability.”

“I _know_ ,” he said, and scowled. “Can we drop it? Please?”

“For now,” Bucky said, after exchanging a significant look with Peggy. “C'mon. Get in the middle.”

Steve looked rebellious.

“Steven Grant Rogers, if you tell me you don't deserve the middle right now, I will bodily remove you from my apartment,” Bucky said, an edge of weariness in his voice.

“Sorry.” Steve curled up in the middle of the bed, and Bucky slipped in behind him, kissing the back of his neck. “God, I really am sorry. I'll be less assholish in the morning, promise.”

“Steve, I know you, you will not,” Bucky said, and snuggled close. “Honey, I don't expect you to trust me overnight. But I am gonna show you that you _can_ trust me. With anything.”

“Thanks,” Steve said quietly, and rested his head on Peggy's shoulder when she joined them in bed.

He fell asleep almost immediately, and Bucky and Peggy shared a smile (and a few kisses) over him, iPad propped up on his hip, until they drifted off as well.

 

 

Bucky woke up warm. _Very_ warm, actually. And slightly squashed.

And possibly a little hypoxic. Of _course_ Steve was a rabid sleep-cuddler. Of course he was. And he made it pretty hard to draw a full breath.

Bucky cracked open one eye and could just make out Peggy on the far side of the bed, fast asleep in, he presumed, solitary bliss. While meanwhile, he had Steve Rogers' considerable bulk half sprawled across him, Steve's arms around his waist and their legs tangling together.

Bucky looked down at Steve asleep, his head resting on Bucky's chest. His lips were pouting a little, frowning, and his eyelashes flickered.

“Shh,” Bucky breathed, heart melting and unashamed of it. “I've got you.” He slipped his arm around Steve and ignored how slightly sweaty they both were, and how Steve was actually quite heavy. Because Steve's face smoothed, his mouth relaxed, and he breathed deeper as soon as Bucky's arm came around him. “Oh, honey.” This angry, touchy, wonderful man. Bucky was going to love him up forever.

He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the pillow. He could hear Peggy breathing, and he smiled to himself. She was adorable in his too-big clothes, and she wasn't crushing him at the moment which he was kind of grateful for, but he let himself think for a minute of how she'd feel against him when she woke up, sleep-heavy and soft curves and yes. This was the best, this was why he'd moved to Brooklyn and started over. Friends, and dear ones, and a happy life.

Then Steve started snoring, and his elbow dug into Bucky's belly, and he bit back laughter, shifting them so as to not be in actual pain. His life fucking _rocked_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, as always, for your comments and kudos!
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you missed it, I wrote a gratuitous little h/c ficlet yesterday and posted it on my tumblr: http://dietraumerei.tumblr.com/post/120730064173/ficlet-untitled-ot3-goodness

“You're making good art,” Peggy said, resting her head on Steve's shoulder and peering down at his sketchbook. “For hours. What's going through that head of yours, love?”

“You know, I liked it better when you didn't know every single thing about me,” Steve said.

“No you didn't.” Peggy said, and kissed his cheek. “Is it about Bucky?”

“Mmm. Little bit.” Steve set the book aside and spun his chair around so he could pull Peggy down into his lap. “You talk to him a lot. Is he...hurt? About me being so slow to jump into sex?”

“Steve, he thinks you hang the moon. He's enamored. You could tell him tomorrow that you don't ever want to have sex with him and he'd pull you into his arms and kiss you until you melted and ask if he could still take you out on Friday night.” Peggy explained. “No, he is not hurt, or if he is he's hiding it impeccably. He's patient and kind and he understands. Or, at least, accepts. I'm not sure he's _real_ to be honest with you.”

Steve laughed, and kissed her. “You're blinded by adoration. But I know what you mean. And I don't even know why I'm resistant,” he said thoughtfully. “It's not like I'm not physically attracted to him. Or that I never want to sleep with him. And I trust him.” He paused, and added softly, “I think.”

“Is this about sharing me with him?” Peggy asked carefully.

“What? No. God, no. I did finally get it into my head that you actually kinda like me, Peg,” Steve said, smiling at her. “Somewhere between the marriage and the dealing with immigration, I got that you love me. And I know he'll treat you right. I think...” He trailed off, twisting the chair a little from side-to-side, clearly thinking hard. “I'm afraid that he only cares for an idea of me. That one night in the hospital and our first date aside, he's pretty much only seen me as really healthy. As this big, strong guy. When I've only been this big, strong guy – albeit with a laundry list of health problems – for a few years. Since my heart surgery, really.” He rested his forehead against Peggy's. “You knew me when I was very ill, Peggy.”

She made a soft noise, and he held her tighter. “And now I'm better. Not perfect, but not holding hands with death. And you loved me when I was sick and angry at the world and...not the way I look now,” he added tactfully. “I know you love _me_. But I'm afraid he only sees part of me.”

“Then you do him a huge disservice,” Peggy said sharply. “If you think all he sees is a pretty face.”

“Not all – Bucky's not shallow,” Steve protested. “Just. I'm a lot to sign on for.”

“So's he,” she said bluntly. “Or did you forget he knows what it's like to hold hands with death for a little while?”

Steve shuddered, and closed his eyes tight. “Fuck.”

“Our boyfriend has one arm. His prosthetic is amazing, so much so that I forget it's not his original arm sometimes. But he's been through hell, and when you go through hell he's not going to break, or run, or anything like that,” Peggy said firmly. “He's going to come over with breakfast, and stay, and make sure you've got medicine and good food and care. Steve, he'd be patient with you forever.”

Steve smiled, because that's what he did when he was deeply sad. “Peg, how are there two people in the world who actually want to put up with me?”

Peggy groaned and rolled her eyes. “So _dramatic_. I love you. If Bucky doesn't already love you, he's pretty damn close. It's too big for the why. We just _do_.”

Steve sighed, and concentrated on the weight and warmth of her, rooting him in place, rooting him in time. “Mind if I go over to his place tonight? I'll come back for sleeping.”

“You need to talk to him,” Peggy agreed. “Go, Steve.”

 

 

Bucky opened the door already grinning, and Steve's heart...oh. Filled with warm and nice and this was _Bucky_. He wasn't scary at all, and Steve was a moron.

“Hey you.” Bucky pulled Steve into a hug, and Steve always forgot that, really, they were nearly the same height, though he was broad and muscular where Bucky was slender.

“Hi. Thanks for letting me crash your night,” Steve said.

“Yeah, you're a real hardship. C'mon in, you want a drink?”

Steve shook his head. “Can't really, sorry. Don't stint yourself on my behalf, though.”

“Everything okay?” Bucky asked, getting a beer out of the fridge while Steve got himself a glass of water.

“Yeah. Well, no worse than usual. Just kind of low, and I really don't need more depressants in my system,” Steve forced himself to say. Bucky would understand. Bucky would...Bucky would, apparently, smile at him and pull him in for a soft, light kiss that left Steve wanting a hell of a lot more.

“Sorry you're having a rough time of it,” Bucky said, and kissed him again.

“Thanks. Want to crash on the sofa?” Steve blushed. “I brought...okay, I brought photos. It's sorta dumb, but...you'll see.”

“You're dumb if you think that's dumb,” Bucky said very maturely, and grinned at him. “C'mon. Do you need a make-out session first?”

Steve laughed, and followed him into the living room. “No, but maybe after. Um. Okay.” He brought his bag over and sat down next to Bucky, and took a deep breath. Bucky was slouching on the sofa, relaxed and easy, those lovely eyes tracking Steve's movements and okay maybe Steve was a _little_ dramatic.

“I just wanted to share with you what I was like, most of my life,” Steve said softly. “Peggy was there for a little bit of it but you've only known me now, when I'm relatively healthy. And I just...I spent most of my life seriously unwell. Like, going-to-die-relatively-young unwell.”

Bucky nodded, gone silent and still.

“I'm doing better now!” Steve rushed to reassure him. “And I know this whole thing's not just physical for you. I _know._ But...I dunno. I want you to understand all of who I am. And being trapped in a really sick body for most of my life is part of that.”

“Okay,” Bucky said gently. “I'm here, Steve. For everything.”

“I know. Or...I should know.” Steve smiled weakly at him. “You're fantastic, you know that?”

“Yup.” Bucky laughed at the look this earned him. “We were talking about you?”

“Yeah. Okay. So this is the Christmas when I was eight,” Steve said, and pulled out the first photo in the envelope he'd brought. “I'd just started wearing a back brace.”

“Oh, precious,” Bucky cooed. “Also oh my God, that hair.”

“ _That's_ what you fixate on?”

“Steve, you look look one of those dandelion puffballs.”

“I'm sure you were the picture of adorableness,” Steve grumbled.

“Um.”

“Oh _God_.”

Bucky laughed, and kissed his cheek. “I was actually really cute as a kid. Wanna see?”

“ _Yes_! I don't believe you.”

Bucky snickered again and went up, returning with a photo album. “Here, I think I'm about eight here,” he said, flipping through the pages and showing Steve. An absolutely adorable little boy with curly brown hair was grinning at the camera, a toddler (Becca, Steve presumed) at his side gazing adoringly up at him. It was enough to make one ill. Steve faintly noted that Bucky's smile hadn't changed at all.

“Oh fuck you and fuck everything,” Steve said, looking down at the photo. “And fuck your Cupid curls, especially.”

Bucky was practically falling off of the sofa, he was laughing so hard.

“This is _not fair_.”

“I turned into an awkward potato for my adolescent years?” Bucky offered, still snickering.

“Right, must see,” Steve announced, and flipped through a few more pages. “All right. I feel vindicated.”

“Uh huh,” Bucky agreed and looked over his shoulder. “Ugh. Yeah, I'm about fourteen there. It doesn't get much better until I got into my twenties.”

“Ha ha,” Steve deadpanned, and turned the page and-- “Oh.”

“Yeah. Don't need to play 'guess when my diagnosis happened',” Bucky said. One page to the next, a happy, healthy teenager with two arms (well, okay, a sullen eye-rolling teenager with two arms) and then...not.

Steve touched the picture very gently. Bucky didn't look any different, really, except for the fact that one sleeve was suddenly empty. He still had his baby fat, he still had the same exact smile, he still had all the teenage awkwardness about him, posing for the camera.

Steve remembered that no one could get in his way like Steve his own self.

He turned the page and smiled at the images. Bucky graduating high school, Bucky and Rebecca posed awkwardly in front of a lake in their swimsuits, Rebecca and a man and woman who were clearly their parents, every quotidian moment pinned down. It was the boringest photo album ever, and it was the absolute best thing Steve had ever seen.

“You're right,” he said, flicking through a few more pages. “You don't really start to turn hot until after college.”

Bucky laughed, and gave him a shove. “Uh huh. And when did you stop looking like a weed?”

“Like five years ago?” Steve grinned, and leaned in for a kiss, feeling ridiculously light. “That's _right_ , tonight was supposed to be all about me, until my awesome boyfriend felt the need to show off.”

“Eh. Get used to it, loser,” Bucky advised, and yelped when Steve tackled him pressing kisses all down his face, pressing his mouth to the soft warmth of Bucky's t-shirt, feeling his heart beating, so close to Steve's own.

Oh, Jesus. He was besotted, and it was disgusting.

“I will not, I actually did want to show you this,” Steve grumbled. “Right.” He sat up and stripped his t-shirt off.

Predictably, Bucky wolf-whistled him, and Steve rolled his eyes. “Fuck you. Look. I was gonna walk you through my shitty childhood and my ill health but you get the idea. But I really do wanna show you...” he trailed off and traced a finger down his chest, the wide shiny scar there. “This is what saved my life.”

Bucky sat up so he could get a little closer, examining the scar carefully. It was startling, Steve knew. But there it was, the thing that almost killed him to save him.

“May I?” Bucky asked gently, fingertips hovering over Steve's chest.

Steve swallowed and nodded, and Bucky traced the outline of the thick weal, petting gently. “I'm so sorry,” he said quietly. “No one should ever have to deal with what you have. Especially not so young.”

“Thank you,” Steve said.

“Life's some fucking bullshit sometimes, isn't it?”

“Yeah. God, yeah.” Steve laughed, and relaxed, and Bucky smiled at him and then they were holding each other, just holding on, and Steve got it. He _got_ it.

“Hey baby?”

“Yeah?”

“You want to come over on Friday? To spend the night?” Steve pulled back a little and kissed Bucky softly. “And not sleep very much?”

Bucky grinned and nodded, and pulled Steve in for another kiss, deep and sweet.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short-ish chapter, but the next one will make up for it... ;)
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIRTY-FIVE THOUSAND WORDS of lead-up, and here we go! This is probably the most explicit thing I've written in this fandom, so if you're used to my other stories this is...a bit more? Plenty of affection and ridiculousness and the usual people-talking-about-their-feelings for pages, so it's not too much of a shock to the system ;)

Bucky curled up in the center of the bed, wishing he didn't feel quite so awkward. His arm was off, and that was okay, right? They'd both seen him without it, and if there were two people in the whole world who didn't care about stuff like that, it was Steve and Peggy. His hair was down, soft waves around his face, nothing fancy there.. And he was still wearing the black boxer-briefs that made his legs look long and nicely muscled and that was okay, right? Naked would be too much, right?

Fuck. He was really not cut out for this.

“Hullo, you.” Peggy's voice was warm and gentle, and she was wearing a satiny-looking dressing gown, and she was beautiful.

Bucky swallowed, and smiled, because who wouldn't smile with her in front of them?

Peggy crossed the room and tucked herself up beside Bucky. “Steve's fretting over water bottles and something to eat and God knows what else, but he'll be right in,” she said, snuggling close when Bucky put his arm around her. “Sorry, we didn't mean to stick you in here by yourself like some blushing bride on her wedding night.”

“I'd make the prettiest bride,” was what Bucky's mouth supplied, and he was _definitely_ blushing, but he was laughing too, and so was Peggy and okay, he could do this. He could slide his arm around her, pull her close and kiss her properly.

He didn't even hear Steve come into the bedroom, and jumped when he felt a warm hand on his hip. “Fuck, sorry --”

“No, I'm sorry,” Steve murmured, kissing just behind and below Bucky's ear, his hand rubbing his hip lightly. “Didn't mean to startle you. Everything okay?”

“I'm in bed being kissed by the two most gorgeous, loving people I've ever met, and we're about to have sex all night, and Peggy's going to make pancakes tomorrow morning. No, of course I'm not okay,” Bucky said, rolling his eyes, grinning when Peggy laughed. “For fuck's sake, Rogers.”

“Oh, bite me,” Steve said cheerfully, and turned Bucky's head so he could kiss him properly. “Hey, you.”

“Hey yourself,” Bucky said. “Just pretend I've got an arm to put around you and haul you close, okay?”

“I will not,” Steve said. “I've got my Bucky in bed with me, and I wouldn't change a thing.” He wriggled a little closer, reaching out one hand to rest atop Bucky's on Peggy's waist, and kissed Bucky again. “Not one thing, got it?”

Bucky swallowed, and nodded.

“Just so we're clear, that goes for me, too,” Peggy said softly, leaning into to press a kiss to Bucky's throat.

And then Steve started in with nuzzling his other side, kissing his way down Bucky's body including the scar on his shoulder where his arm should have been like it was nothing, like Bucky was precious and perfect, because Steve really honest-to-God thought he was precious and perfect, and was Bucky already moaning just from being kissed? Yes, yes he was.

“Oh, my darling,” Peggy breathed, and Bucky helped her slip off her dressing gown and tried not to wail at the simple sight of her naked, her slender waist and perfect breasts that he could reach out and cup in one hand, brushing his thumb over her nipple and feeling more than hearing her sharp breath. He'd seen the flowering vines twining over her shoulders and down her arms before, but not seen how they flowed around her breasts, beautiful and perfect on her body. 

“Steve...”

“Yeah, I know,” Steve murmured in his ear, moving his hand to cup her other breast, matching Bucky's motions. “She's stunning.”

“She is. And so's your work” Bucky said, tracing a vine with a fingertip, all the way down to the roses blooming over her ribs. “It's...” his throat closed up, and he shook his head, moving gracelessly until he could kiss the secret spot under her breast, licking the skin and breathing in her smell. “Peg, you're perfect.”

She moaned a little, hips already rocking lightly, a pool of dark silk around her hips. Bucky kept exploring her skin with kisses, returning again and again to her breasts, mouth gliding over the soft skin there, suckling on one nipple then the other, vaguely aware that Steve was doing double duty, kissing Peggy deeply, almost frantically, while with his other hand he caressed Bucky's back, then his sides, always gliding lower and lower, until he was at the waistband of Bucky's shorts.

Peggy gave a little wail, and when Bucky realized it was because she was fingering herself, he shuddered, resting his head on her chest for a moment while he remembered to breathe.

“God, the two of you,” he heard Steve swear softly. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Um.”

“We should have planned better,” Peggy said, laughing breathlessly.

“Plans never last more than the first few minutes,” Bucky informed them, and moaned when they somehow all moved and twisted so that Peggy was laid out on the bed, hand still between her thighs and Steve and Bucky on either side of her. “Oh, God.”

“Right. Ugh.” Peggy curled her hand, moving it away from the dark thatch of hair with visible will. “We're two-thirds naked. That's – oh. Oh, my darling.” This last when Bucky had reached for her hand and started to lick and suck her fingers, shuddering just a little at the sharp taste of her.

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” Steve swore, and Bucky looked over at him from under his eyelashes, watching Steve wrap a hand around his cock, pumping his fist slowly. “Oh, Bucky, Jesus.”

“You taste so good,” Bucky said softly, and looked down at Peggy who was writhing on the bed, eyes gone dark with joy and want and caring.

Steve whimpered, and Bucky smiled, leaning down to kiss Peggy softly, then trail his mouth quickly down her body until he could lie down between her thighs and bury his face between her legs. He heard her wail, and gently nudged her thighs up over his shoulders so he could get a better angle, working her over with his tongue, spread wide and lapping at her, then kissing her clit, nuzzling just a little, his tongue tracing the outline of her vulva. Her hips were rolling and whatever Steve was doing was making her moan, okay, maybe  _he_ was making her moan too, suckling oh-so-softly at her clit, his free hand reaching up to stroke her breasts – ah, there was Steve  and then there was Steve pulling Bucky's fingers into his mouth and Bucky moaned, grinding his hips into the bed, licking harder and faster, kissing the dark secret place that smelled sharp and so good and Peggy was wailing, shaking under him, and she made the most beautiful noises as she fell apart.

Bucky was gentle, pulling away when she made a hitching sound, kissing her thighs, then kissing his way up until he was carefully balanced above her, sharing deep, openmouthed kisses.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she managed to breathe. “Oh, thank you.”

Bucky smiled into her mouth, and kissed her again. “My pleasure.” He turned to look at Steve and laughed to see him laid out on the bed, breathing deeply, come painting his stomach. “Oh for fuck's sake, no one's even touched you yet.”

“Thank God. I think I would have died,” Steve said faintly, and yelped when Peggy backhanded his shoulder.

“Idiot,” she sighed. “James, please do something about him.”

“My pleasure, ma'am,” he said, and kissed her once more, affectionate and playful, before he went to kneel beside Steve. He was so hard he hurt, had to move a little carefully.

Steve made a whining sound and touched his thigh, where the hem of his shorts was. “ _Please_ can I see you?”

“Oh, so now it's my fault that I didn't even have time to get all my clothes off?” Bucky asked, mock-dejected.

“Yes.”

“Brat.” Bucky grinned. “Just for that...” He trailed a finger down Steve's chest, feathering the edge of the stripe of come decorating his belly. “Close your eyes.”

Steve did, of course, and Bucky didn't miss how his cock jumped at the request. Oh,  _fun_ . He looked over at Peggy, and they shared a grin. Oh, very  fun . “Keep them closed, please,” he tried, clearly voicing it as a request, rather than a command, and Peggy nodded and mouthed  _praise_ to him.

“Wish there was two of me, so I could take you both at once,” Bucky said softly, leaning over to kiss right over where Steve's heart lay, nuzzling the long scar there so gently. “God, I love getting to touch you, baby. You're so handsome. And so _good_ ,” he praised, trailing kisses lower. “Look at you.” He nosed Steve's stomach, appreciating the work that went into that amount of muscle, and started licking, cleaning the come off of him. “Taste good too.”

Steve moaned, hips jerking, and Bucky smiled when he felt him grow hard again. “Oh, treats. Such a treat, baby. That's it, get hard for us again,” Bucky cooed, and grinned when Peggy helped him get out of his shorts. “That's my good Stevie.” He wrapped a hand around his own cock and squeezed just below the head, breathing carefully. Wouldn't do to end the party before it began. “God,” he said, and his voice broke. “Want both of you so bad, so  _bad_ , please, please....”

“You've got us,” Steve managed, hips jerking. “Fuck. Fuck. Right. Okay.”

“James, I want you to fuck me while you suck him off,” Peggy said calmly, and Bucky wailed, stopping where he was to not come _definitely_ not come just yet he was not going to shoot off just from Peggy's words except his vision was going spotty and his cock was shaking just from the _thought_ of being so close with both of them, of getting to bury himself in Peggy and take Steve's cock at the same time, losing himself in both of them and fuck fuck fuck.

“Sorry,” he croaked, when he could speak again, and he closed his eyes, cheeks burning. But he was cradled between two bodies, and Steve kissed him, then Peggy, and he smiled and opened his eyes. “You know, you have no one but yourselves to blame.”

“Oh, really?” Peggy said, grinning. “How so?”

“If you weren't both so fucking hot, I would not be doing an imitation of myself at fourteen,” Bucky said conversationally. “Stop being so fuckable, both of you. This instant.”

“Shan't,” Peggy said, and leaned up to smother his face with her breasts and Bucky could die a happy man now, and he informed her of this.

“See? _See_?” Steve poked her in the side of the face. “Bucky, how could I not marry this woman as soon as humanly possible.”

“You had no other choice,” Bucky informed him seriously. “None whatsoever.” He smiled softly, and pulled Steve into a kiss. “Can't see how she had any choice either.”

Steve melted a little, then pulled away with a tiny kiss to the edge of Bucky's eye. “Hey,” he said, and reached down to cup Bucky's cock in his big, warm hand. “Night's not over yet.”

Bucky sighed happily, eyes fluttering shut as he felt his cock swelling again. “Mmmm. Good. Never want it to be over.”

“This isn't a one-time thing you know,” Peggy reminded him, kissing his temple. “You're ours now. And we're yours.”

Bucky couldn't even breathe for a moment, just turned and buried his face in her shoulder, laughing when Steve wrapped his arms around them both and hugged them all together, so tight. “Good. So. Uh, how do you want to arrange this?” Because  _God_ he wanted them both.

“Probably easier if you're on your back,” Peggy said thoughtfully. “I can ride you. Steve?”

“Like this,” he said, and lifted Bucky's shoulders up, propping him up on pillows so that he wasn't quite upright, but wasn't flat on his back either. “You can control how much you're taking,” he explained, and kissed Bucky's brow. “Okay? Really, Buck, if this is too much for the first night, just say, baby.”

“Fuck you,” Bucky's voice shook. “I want this so much it hurts. Get your cock in my mouth, Rogers.”

Steve clearly at least  _tried_ to laugh, but it came out more a stutter, shaky, and he straddled Bucky's upper body, kneeling a little to put himself at the right height. “Fuck, baby.”

Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve's waist and squeezed his ass and finally,  _finally_ wrapped his mouth around the head of Steve's cock, tongue lapping over the very tip just not quite hard enough.

Steve let out a long breath, and Bucky felt Peggy move into place behind him, stroking his cock until it was fully hard, then slipping a condom on. All the while he took Steve into his mouth as slowly as possible, inching along while the gorgeous man above him swore.

Then Peggy was lowering herself onto his cock, warm and wet and tight and Bucky paused for a moment, pulled his head back, and swore as creatively as he ever had, for as long as he could, until Peggy's weight was resting on his hips and he remembered that he had another lover and  _two_ there  were two of them and he was actually going to die. No question about it.

They didn't quite find a rhythm, but wow could you get drunk off of making love? Because Bucky was, drawing Steve's cock into his mouth and kneading his ass with his hand while Peggy rolled her hips, and she was so wet and so  _good_ and Steve's fingers were in Bucky's hair and it was a good thing he was so good at giving head because he couldn't think, couldn't do anything, caught between these two, he could feel the two of them rocking together,  definitely touching each other  and Bucky forced his eyes open so he could look up at Steve through his lashes, watch him throw his head back and then lean down again, bracing himself against the headboard and groan, and their eyes met while Steve shook and came in Bucky's mouth.

Peggy kept up her even rhythm, even as Steve heaved himself off of Bucky to lie beside him, panting, and Peggy was amazing, the most amazing and Bucky managed to wrap his hand around the side of her waist and snap his hips, meeting her now, making her cry out softly, and then oh, what had he been thinking, of course he could rub at her clit while Steve dragged himself up onto his knees and kissed her, his fingers joining Bucky's until she wailed and shook and set Bucky off and he flooded with pleasure, with pure pleasure, his hips rolling up into as he came, hard.

They both whimpered a little when she slipped off of his softening cock, and he pulled her down and wrapped his arm around her, murmuring soft things, pressing kisses to her damp hairline, telling her how beautiful she was, how good she was. Steve, saint that he was, took care of the condom and Bucky smiled when he pressed up against them, and Bucky gave him his own kisses, his own praise.

“Silly, sweet boy,” Peggy murmured, and tucked her head under his chin. “Mmmm. I'll get up and get a washcloth soon.”

“Or I will,” Steve mumbled where his face was pressed into Bucky's hair. “Honest.”

“Good, 'cause I ain't moving,” Bucky announced, and grinned, when the both pinched him. “Stoppit. Love you guys.” Oh. Oh, he hadn't meant to say that, not just now. A better time.

Except now was a perfectly good time, from the way Peggy kissed him, and the way Steve pressed his mouth to Bucky's ear before he murmured “We love you too, Buck.”

“Now I'm not moving either,” Peggy announced, and Steve laughed and pulled the quilt up to cover all of them.

“We'll clean up in the morning,” he informed them sleepily, and tucked himself close, and if either of them said anything else, Bucky was too asleep to hear it.

 

 

 

“Either of you want to go with me for a run?”

Peggy had sort of daydreamed about what the morning after the night before would be like. Bucky in the middle of course, because he was their treasure, and should be treated as such. And maybe she'd wake up first and wiggle a little closer to him, and he'd wake up too, and smile and call her 'my girl' and kiss her soft and lazy. And Steve would wake up, hearing them, and they'd make love. She had entertained the thought of the two of them under the covers, both of them with mouths between her legs, clever tongues working her over. It would have been glorious.

But, no. She had to marry Steve Rogers, the most irritating person in the world.

“Unh?” Bucky was, technically, awake. Well, his eyes were open as he peered blearily over the edge of the comforter. “Steve?”

“I'm going for a run, wanna come?”

“What _time_ is it?”

“It's already seven!”

Peggy rolled over and tucked her head under the pillow.

“No. No, I do not,” Bucky said, very carefully.

Steve sighed. “Fine, but you guys are missing a beautiful morning.”

“'m okay with that,” Bucky mumbled, and hid under the pillow so that he and Peggy faced one another. Or would have, if either had had their eyes open.

“Sorry,” Peggy said, and yawned. “Forgot to warn you.”

“Oh, bullshit. If I'd known he would be like that, I would never have agreed to this,” Bucky informed her. “Margaret, he is a _morning person_.”

“James, I've been married to the man for years,” Peggy said, and wriggled a little closer. Bucky was lying on his left side but he could curl his right arm tight around her and okay. Okay, this was nice. “How d'you think I feel?”

“Like a saint. A lying saint, but a saint,” Bucky informed her, and yawned. “Sleep some more?”

“Sleep more,” she confirmed, letting herself relax again. Bucky smelled...okay, not amazing. He smelled like someone who had had messy sex and then fallen asleep. But he also smelled good, like himself, masculine and warm and his thumb was rubbing just to one side of her spine and this was so nice, to be relaxed and held and drifting back to sleep while her jammy prick of a husband went running and, who knew, fucking played with squirrels or something. Like she cared.

 

 

 

“Breakfast's ready!” That. That was her entire warning before two hundred-plus pounds of adult human male landed on top of her. Well, her and Bucky. Who was soft and warm and not awake and flinging himself at her, which kinda made him her favorite right then.

“I regret my life,” Bucky announced, his voice muffled by a pillow. “Please tell me you showered, Steve. Please.”

“I hope I've trained him better than that,” Peggy informed him, and grunted when Steve felt her up. “Fuck my life.”

“That _is_ about what you said last night,” he said, leering at her.

“Bucky, I am so sorry,” she said, and he laughed and stretched beside her and finally sat up.

“Good God man, you weigh a ton,” he complained. “Urgh. Get off before you break my legs.”

“Oh, you big baby,” Steve said, and moved to sprawl mostly on top of Bucky, much to Peggy's relief. And started to make out with Bucky, much to her delight. She rolled onto her side and propped her head up on her hand to watch them.

Steve kissed with his whole body, and she knew damn well what it was like to be on the receiving end. Bucky was already making soft pleading noises, Steve's arms wrapped around him, one hand cradling the back of his head and Steve sipping great deep kisses from his mouth. Just his mouth, but no more was needed, the way Steve dipped his head, their open mouths coming together, Bucky's body already writhing, just tiny little movements. His arm came up and around Steve's back, fingers stuttering down his spine, trying to caress. He probably couldn't even remember his own name, poor dab, but he was going to try and give a little pleasure back, and Peggy's heart swelled, watching her men love on each other.

Not that her thoughts were entirely pure, not with her two lovelies beside her. Steve rucked the blankets down and away, and she could see them both in all their glory. She could hardly be blamed for slipping a hand between her legs and just touching, no real intent, but enjoying the show before her.

Bucky broke the kisses and looked over at her, bleary-eyed and flushed. “Peg?”

“Don't stop on my account,” she said, and grinned at him. “Please. Really.”

He nodded, and pouted his lips, a little air-kiss, and it was _not_ fair the way she melted when he grinned at her.

Steve reclaimed his prize with tiny kisses for the crows-feet at Bucky's eyes, which made Bucky giggle and shake his head.

“What? You're adorable,” Steve pointed out, entirely reasonably Peggy thought, and Bucky replied with a little kiss to the tip of Steve's nose. Steve retaliated by sticking his tongue in Bucky's ear, and for goodness' sake, they could have sex anytime. You only the once woke up in a bed with your husband and lover after having mindblowing sex for the first time, and you only the once got to celebrate it by diving in and breathing hot into Steve's good ear while tickling Bucky around the neck.

They both yelped, and turned to glare at her.

“I get to have fun too,” she pointed out, and it was on. Bucky making her shriek and giggle as he fluttered his eyelashes across the tender, ticklish skin of her forearm, and Steve flipped her over to show Bucky the dimples on her back, just above her bottom. Quick learner that he was, Bucky then proceeded to lean over and take a gentle bite out of the curve of her bum, playful and adoring rather than sexy. (The way Steve fell over laughing at her indignant look also took care of the sexy.)

Peggy held her own, though, taking her own turn to kiss the little smile-lines around Bucky's eyes.

“Do you two have a fixation or something?” he asked, fingers running up and down her ribs (she wasn't ticklish there, sorry not sorry love, try again).

“Yes. I have a fixation on how full of joy your life must be, to have smile-lines so young,” she said, and play had to stop for a moment so Bucky could pull her close and leave her breathless with a kiss.

They giggled and chased each other around on top of the big bed, kissing and tickling and playing until Steve's stomach growled loudly.

“Uh. Right. Breakfast?” he asked, and Bucky nodded.

“Let me get my arm on and I'll help you,” he offered, but Steve shook his head and kissed him.

“Thank you but – and I mean this in the kindest way – you both need a shower,” he said, and Peggy rolled her eyes. He wasn't wrong, but he could at least pretend the romance was still alive.

Bucky responded by shoving his underarm in Steve's face, until Steve yelped and rolled off of the bed.

“I regret that I have but one stinky armpit,” Bucky announced, on hand and knees and peering down at the floor. So of course Peggy took the chance to sink her teeth into the lush curve of _his_ bum, because fair was fair and also she was only _human._ And Steve's ass was about the size of a bean, and Bucky's...wasn't.

Bucky yelped and turned and tackled her down, kissing her sweetly against the messy bed. “Shower with me?” he asked, fluttering his eyelashes, and she laughed and agreed.

“It'll give Steve time to make us breakfast,” she pointed out, and let Bucky pull her up, the two of them holding hands as they walked down the narrow hallway to the bathroom.

She started the hot water and he found clean towels, and wrapped his arm around her as soon as they were under the spray.

“Hey you,” she said, and tilted her head up for a little kiss, which she received. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” he said, and kissed her again. “My best girl. I'll wash your hair if you'll wash mine?”

She did, thoroughly enjoying scritching Bucky's scalp and getting to play a little with his hair, thick and soft under her hands.

“Braid it for me later?” he asked, and she promised she would, rinsing the shampoo out.

They washed quickly, the shower a little too small for anything but the occasional cuddle and kiss, and Peggy laughed when Bucky dried her off.

“Is it awful to comment that you're damn good with one arm?” she asked.

“No. Because I am.” He winked at her, and tapped the tip of her chin. “Remember, I've only had the prosthetic a few years. Had to get good before that.”

She nodded, and reached for one more kiss, suddenly gentle and kind. “I'm so glad we found you.”

“Me too, sweetheart,” Bucky breathed, holding her close for a moment. “Sorry I fell on you, but I'm _so_ glad I met you.”

Peggy smiled, and stroked his back. “C'mon. Food. And coffee.”

“Good things,” he agreed, and they went to go get breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this story is more than half over now. I can't promise a sequel -- certainly not the behemoth this thing is becoming -- but I'll probably do some companion short stories, especially set between the end of this and the epilogue. (Why that particular bracket of time? YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE.)
> 
> Thanks as always for your comments and kudos :) The next chapter should go up sometime on Friday, but I might be crazy-busy dawn 'til dusk, so it may be just whenever I get a chance after that.
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> volunteer work, schmolunteer work, here have another chapter instead. It's a corker!
> 
> Please note: There is some BDSM play in this chapter, specifically light pain play and blindfolding. Please do not use my stories as your BDSM manual. Although they all practice RACK and because it's me they never *stop* talking to each other this scenario is not textbook perfect. (With three people who fully believe 'fling yourself at trouble' is a valid tactic of battle, it's never gonna be...) Nothing bad happens and they communicate effectively, just not ideally, if that makes sense.
> 
> Additionally Steve's depression is explored in this chapter. It's only the first section, and easily skipped for any readers that may find this makes them uncomfortable.

“Hey you.” Bucky leaned against the doorway to the bedroom.

“Hey,” Steve said, and rolled over and smiled a little. “You look nice.”

Bucky looked down at themself, the soft fabric wrapped around their hips and falling to the floor. They'd brushed their hair to one side, showing off the freshly-shaved right side, and had put tiny silk flowers all along where their long hair started. “Thanks. Everything okay?”

Steve shrugged, still hugging a pillow. “Yeah. Just having a bad depression day.”

“I'm sorry,” Bucky said. “You want a person to hug instead?”

Steve hesitated, then nodded, flush spreading across his face.

Bucky walked across the room and slipped into bed, ably replacing the pillow and snuggling close to Steve. They'd left their arm off and were glad of it now – they were nothing but soft and warm, nothing hard about them.

Steve smiled and ran a hand up their left side, cupping the bare skin of their shoulder gently. “Everything okay here?”

“Mmmhmm. Just didn't feel like putting it on.” Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve's hairline. “I'm pretty good without it, still.”

“You really are,” Steve said softly. “You're amazing.”

“Thank you. So are you,” Bucky said, wrapping their arm around Steve's waist, their foreheads pressed together.

“You're not going to make this better.”

“I know,” Bucky said. “But I want to be beside you all the same. You gotta get through this yourself, love, but you're not alone. If that makes sense?”

Steve nodded, and ducked his head so that Bucky's chin rested on top of it. “Thanks.”

“I've got you, honey,” Bucky said softly. “For as long as you need.”

Steve drifted off to sleep, head resting on Bucky's shoulder. An autumn storm blew in and the room darkened, a soft patter of rain starting against the window as Bucky still held Steve close, more than content to snuggle and daydream a little while their lover slept.

Bucky figured they probably drifted off too, both of them waking up – with a jump – at a massive thunderclap.

They giggled and hugged Steve. “Hey you.”

“Hey. What time is it?” Steve asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

Bucky craned their neck to check the clock. “Um. Just past four.”

Steve shot upright. “Shit, you've been here all that time? Bucky, that's almost three hours!”

“Yup. C'mere again, you're warm and it got cold,” Bucky said peaceably, holding his arm out.

“Don't you have more important things to do?”

“Nope.” Bucky said.

“I'm pretty sure you do.”

“I'm absolutely certain I don't,” Bucky informed him. “C'mere. Please?” they asked, wiggling their fingers. “I wasn't joking about it getting cold.”

“You cannot possibly really want to just lie in bed with me all afternoon,” Steve complained, but he did lie back down.

“I do, actually. You're peaceful and nice and your bed is comfy. And you're cute when you sleep.”

“Someday you're going to figure out that you can do so much better than me,” Steve mumbled, and Bucky gave him a little shake.

“Bite your tongue. I love you.”

“I know,” Steve sighed, and closed his eyes, resting his head on Bucky's chest again. “I love you too. Just wish you didn't have to do this.”

“I wish you didn't have to deal with depression,” Bucky admitted. “But I have no regrets about being here with you, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve pulled the quilt up over them, snuggling down as the storm raged. “It's your time, I guess.”

“Yup. And I can do what I want with it.” Bucky had learned that they couldn't out-stubborn Steve, but they could out-patience him. “And I want this.” They pressed a soft kiss to Steve's forehead, and nestled close under the quilt. “Mmm. Think I really needed that nap, to be honest.”

“You work too hard,” Steve chided, rubbing his hand over the flat plane of Bucky's belly. “And don't sleep enough.”

“That's not all my fault,” Bucky argued. Steve and Peggy had seen Bucky's insomnia hit, the way they showed up exhausted and bleary and frustrated with the world. Peggy had gone on midnight walks with them, and Steve texted back and forth with them in the early morning, just keeping company. Hell, Peggy had brought them dinner when the drugs worked a little too well, and Bucky wound up sleeping all day and waking up ravenous.

“And some of it is.” Steve smiled shyly. “Looks like I'll have to get you into bed more often.”

“Gosh, I wonder how you could possibly do that?” Bucky teased, stretching a little under Steve's hands. “Oh, honey. Let's do this sometime when we can both enjoy it, yeah?”

“I don't _not_ enjoy having you here,” Steve said, pushing up on one elbow. “Bucky, don't ever think that. It's more like...I can't feel anything. Like I go numb, and don't care. And that mixes with sadness, sometimes,” he admitted. “But mostly it's just...dull. And awful. But I still know that someone loves me and is here and cares.”

“Damn straight,” Bucky said, and pulled Steve down, wrapping around him. “Can I spend the night?”

“That would be awesome,” Steve said, giving up and letting Bucky do their octopus impression. “Love having you in our bed.”

Bucky smiled and was about to reply when both their phones went off, making them laugh. “So that's probably Peggy.”

Steve grumbled, and burrowed under the covers. “You get it?”

“On it,” Bucky said, and rolled over Steve to grab their phone, making sure to squash him. “Peggy wants to know if we want to join her at Happy's for dinner and a beer. Some guy named Sousa's there too?”

“Oh, yeah. Friend of hers from an old job.” Steve said. He made a grumbly noise and rubbed his eyes. “We should go.”

“You sure? We can make an excuse for you if you want to stay here,” Bucky reminded him with a little nudge.

“Nah. I should go out anyway, though I'm definitely not drinking,” Steve decided.

“We can take our time.” Bucky hesitated, and took a deep breath. “Can I show up looking like this? I mean, not this-this, but not male?”

“Yes,” Steve said immediately. “Sousa – well, Daniel, but no one calls him that – is a really nice guy who will absolutely not care at all. And even if he _wasn't_ , you have a right to look however feels right for you, love.” he continued, glaring a little at the universe.

“Sometimes I think you like getting into fights,” Bucky mused, and flicked their phone on again to type a reply. “Hey, be my left arm for a second?” they requested, and Steve held their phone while Bucky typed their reply.

“We've got a little time before we have to start walking,” they pointed out innocently, and Steve smiled and rolled into their arms.

“D'you want to do your makeup or anything first?” he asked.

“No, love,” Bucky said. “Gotta get properly dressed and I want to put my arm on, but that won't take long. Might touch up a bit on the way out, but I _want_ to hold you.” They curled around Steve protectively, their body an obvious shield against the world.

Steve sighed.

“I want to do this,” Bucky repeated, gentle reminder. “I love you. This afternoon has been peaceful and happy and I got to cuddle for hours. Please don't tell me how you don't need looking after, Steve. I know you don't. I did this of my own free will.”

“Shit, you're as bad as Peggy now,” Steve grumbled, but stayed close to Bucky until they really did have to leave, and Bucky had to put on clothes a bit more appropriate to the November weather. (That is, they had to put on a shirt, much to Steve's vocal dismay.)

 

 

 

“Mama, that man has a metal hand!”

Bucky turned to smile at the very small child who was staring wide-eyed at them and pointing. They carefully did not roll their eyes as Steve moved a little closer, his hand ghosting the small of Bucky's back. Good Lord.

“Yes, but we don't yell that kind of thing,” the child's mother said, smiling tightly at Bucky, and turning bright red. “Say you're sorry, Enda.”

“Sorry. What happened to your real hand? Are you okay now?” the small child demanded, and Bucky laughed as her mother actually facepalmed.

“Enda, that was a terrible apology and we also don't ask strangers those questions,” she managed, and Bucky knelt down to meet Enda eye-to-eye.

“I don't really like talking about what happened, sweetie, but I promise I'm okay now. Thank you for asking.”

Enda nodded solemnly. “I'm glad you're happy now.”

“I am _very_ happy,” Bucky confirmed. “And thank you. But your Mom's right, that sometimes people don't like being asked stuff like that, okay?”

Enda nodded again, and smiled at Bucky before running off to play under a tree.

“I am _so sorry_ ,” Enda's mother apologized, and Bucky stood up and offered their hand to help her up as well.

“Seriously, it's okay, it happens. Just out of curiosity – three and a half?”

“Yeah. How'd you know?” she asked, looking startled.

“The one-man survey I've been running for the past thirteen years suggests that that's the most common age to embarrass the hell out of one's mother by screeching questions across public spaces,” Bucky said, and she laughed, blush finally fading.

“Glad to know she's on-point. Hope you guys have a good evening, anyway.” She bid them both good-bye, and turned to corral Enda into doing something not involving eating grass.

“Wow, you were really good with her,” Steve said, slipping his arm around Bucky's waist and kissing their temple.

“Got used to it early on,” Bucky admitted. “It's okay when it's little kids, at least they ask rather than just gawking.”

Steve winced, and tightened his arm a little bit. “You really don't like talking about it, do you?” he asked softly.

“It's not my favorite topic, no,” Bucky admitted, nosing Steve's shoulder for a moment. “I tried to be really helpful and explain it once, and basically traumatized the hell out of my cousin. So it's true, but it's also a good excuse.”

“What on earth did you _say_?” Steve asked. “I can't imagine you traumatizing anyone.”

“Steve, for heaven's sake. You wanna figure out how to tell a four-year-old that I was very sick, and they had to cut off my arm because that's where the sickness was, and that I'm okay now but I'm always going to not have two arms?” Bucky pointed out, and Steve winced.

“Okay, yeah, I guess that could be rough for a little kid.”

“Apparently Ryan freaked out every time he got a bruise on his arm for the next year,” Bucky admitted, and Steve stopped them, hands at Bucky's waist.

“That's for his parents to explain,” he said firmly. “Not your fault, okay?”

Bucky canted their eyes to one side. “Yeah. Look, I really _don't_ like talking about it...”

“Okay.” Steve leaned in and kissed Bucky softly. “I'm sorry.”

“Mmm, another,” Bucky demanded, and laughed when Steve kissed the tip of their nose. “It's okay. C'mon, or we'll be running late.”

“We will not,” Steve said, but they started walking again. He kept his arm around Bucky's waist, though, holding onto them all the way to the bar.

 

 

 

Bucky was already giggling, chasing Peggy up the stairs. “Of course you had a room full of men terrified of you!”

“Hell yes I did,” Peggy yelled over her shoulder, tripping on a stair, catching herself, and then scrambling up them to the door.

“Oh my God, of course you did,” Bucky repeated, giggling so hard their face went red. They stumbled and landed next to Peggy in front of the door to their apartment, and wrapped their arms around her, kissing her deeply. “I am _so glad_ we went out.”

“I am too,” Steve announced. “I never get to be the sober, sensible one.”

Bucky and Peggy looked at each other, and burst out laughing.

“Well, you're not wrong,” Peggy wheezed, as Steve let them in.

“I'm not actually that funny, either,” Steve pointed out.

“Y'are right now,” Bucky said, heaving themself up and pulling Peggy up as well so they could stumble into the apartment. “Stevie, Stevie, Stevie,” they sang for no reason, turning around so they could twine their arms under Steve's jacket, snuggling close. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Buck,” Steve said, clearly bemused. “Both of you into the bedroom. There are more soft surfaces there.”

“You gotta come with us!” Peggy said, widening her eyes in mock-concern.

“I will. After I get you both water. And toast.”

“Okay,” Bucky said, but didn't move.

“I'll be right there,” Steve said, gently untangling himself from Bucky's arms.

Bucky looked up and met his eyes for a long moment.

“What is it, baby?” Steve asked softly.

“I know how you get when you get depressed,” Bucky said, very carefully. “Promise you won't be too long?”

“I promise,” Steve said, around the lump in his throat. “Oh, baby. Like I'd miss you two like this.”

“C'mon,” Peggy said, taking Bucky's hand. “Let's strip down and shock him.”

“I think the surprise is gone...”

Steve smiled, watching them walk down the hallway, hand-in-hand, and went to go fill some water bottles and make toast.

He found them half-naked, cuddling on the bed and still giggly, but very grateful for water and food. Steve perched on the edge of the bed, happy to just be quiet and watch them feed each other and sip from the water bottles he'd filled. They both sobered quickly, giggles quieting and calming, though they stayed close together.

“Hey,” Peggy said, and crawled over Bucky to reach for Steve. “Please join us?”

“Please,” Bucky added, shifting so Steve was in the middle.

“I'm okay, guys,” Steve said, and kissed them each to prove it. “Going out really did help.”

“Good,” Peggy said, and sat up to strip off her shirt. “Mmm. What are you darlings up for?”

Steve grinned, and leaned in for a kiss, and not an innocent one either. “Fun. You. Bucky. Both of you.”

“Yes, please,” Bucky murmured, kissing the space between Peggy's breasts, then happily pressing their face there. “Nnf.”

Steve laughed, and reached behind Peggy to undo her bra, stripping the lacy thing away.

Bucky sighed happily, hands coming up to cup her breasts, kissing across one to the nipple, then continuing down to trace the vines tattooed on her skin with their tongue.

Steve stroked their hair softly with one hand, reaching for Peggy with the other, tracing the point of her cheekbone with his thumb. Watching her melt with pleasure, the way she relaxed, getting to see it all – just one more thing to be insanely grateful to Bucky for.

“I want another tattoo,” Bucky said, sitting up and leaning into Steve. “Please?”

“Of course? What do you want?” he asked, lowering his hand to trace the line of Peggy's collarbone, the stars he'd put there.

“I don't know?” Bucky laughed, and hid their face for a moment in Steve's neck. “I just want your art on me. I want something all you, not like my star. I want something beautiful.”

Steve swallowed hard, and pulled Bucky into his arms, treasure that they were. “We'll talk tomorrow,” he promised.

“Make me beautiful,” Bucky murmured, kissing Steve's throat. “Make me so beautiful.”

“You already are,” Steve said, and Peggy moved to kneel beside him, kisses dropped on Steve's shoulder, her hand skimming across his belly.

“You're wearing too many clothes,” she decided, and started unbuttoning Steve's jeans, her hand sliding down, still outside his boxers, just warm and teasing for the moment.

Steve groaned a little, hips moving to place her hand better, then groaned louder when Bucky added their hand, the two of them palming him, Bucky's mouth still busy on the skin by the collar of his t-shirt.

They slowly stripped him, hands and mouths on him, Peggy moving so that he lay back against her, his head pillowed on her chest. Bucky knelt in front of him, undressing him so carefully that Steve blinked away tears, and no, no, they had come home laughing and giggling and now he was making them so serious. He hated that about himself.

“Hey, sweet one,” he said, and Bucky looked up with a tender smile, and Steve, who had learned all the places they were ticklish, went in before they could suspect.

“You asshole!” Bucky yelped, wriggling and trying to protect their ribs and their knees and their thighs (who the fuck was ticklish on their thighs? Steve's lover, that's who, and he thanked the universe for sending Bucky his way), and failing utterly once Peggy joined in.

They stripped Bucky much more quickly, though Peggy hesitated over their briefs. “Love?”

Bucky nodded. “It's okay. I just...won't look.”

Peggy's eyes widened, and she grinned. “Oh, really?”

“What are you planning?” Bucky demanded suspiciously, but Steve was already rummaging beside the bed and – yes. There was Peggy's scarf, a lovely pale blue thing, wispy and feminine and long enough to tie around Bucky's eyes.

“Oh,” Bucky said, and Steve smiled, watching a flush just starting to spread across their chest. Oh _yes_.

“Oh, indeed,” Peggy purred, stripping herself quickly, and pushing Bucky to lie down. “My lover. Your body is perfect,” she said, voice low and commanding. “Your body is perfect for you. Your flat chest, your hips, that mouth. Whatever you want to look like, that's what you are, Bucky.”

Bucky _whimpered_. “Peggy, Peggy, fuck...”

“Mmmm. That's not a bad idea,” she said, tilting her head to one side, and Steve grinned, met her eyes, nodded. “What if we both fucked you tonight?”

Bucky made a high-pitched noise, and Peggy lost it, falling over onto them from laughing.

“I love you,” she declared, and kissed Bucky soundly.

They smiled, hands coming up, a little hesitant at first until they worked out where Peggy was. “I love you too. And I would very much enjoy both of you fucking me,” they said, reaching out, groping the air. “Steve?”

“Here, baby,” Steve said, voice all tender gentleness, and he flopped, totally gracelessly, on top of both of them.

Bucky gave a little 'oof', and started laughing again, turning their head and clearly searching for a kiss, which Steve gave up happily.

“Oh, I like this,” they said, hand tentative, careful to outline where Steve was. “I love this.”

“Good,” Peggy said. “As that blindfold's not coming off tonight.” She ran her hand across their chest, pinched a nipple. “I want you to just _feel_ , nothing else.”

Bucky groaned deeply, pressing up and closer to her. “Fuck. Not a problem, Peg. Not a problem at all.” They swallowed hard. “Pain is fine, by the way. Good. I mean good.”

Steve rolled off of them, then leaned over to kiss them, making sure no part of him touched Bucky but his mouth. Bucky made a protesting noise, but one that trailed off as Peggy sprawled across them, licking and biting her way down their chest, nipping at the flat plane of their stomach.

“Oh. Oh, fuck, yes, yes,” Bucky breathed. “Oh, God, don't stop. Steve, Stevie, touch me, _please_.”

“Of course, darling,” Steve murmured, and ran his thumb down the crease of Bucky's hip, pressing hard and making Bucky moan, their hips jerking.

Bucky was gasping, one hand on Peggy's side, the other groping for Steve, and they whimpered when Steve pinched one of their nipples while Peggy simultaneously bit down on their hip. “Ah, oh, fuck...”

“Too much?” Peggy asked.

“Nnnn. No. But almost,” Bucky managed. “God, I can't...Peg, I can't feel you really, with the prosthetic. And everything's...stronger. Not being able to see. S'good. Just...oh.” They whimpered again when Steve switched to soft kisses, dappling their face, kissing down their arm. “Oh, love.”

“Give me your safeword, Bucky,” Peggy demanded.

“Glasnost,” Bucky sighed. “Oh, darling.” Peggy had moved closer, touched them a little more so they didn't have to rely just on the metal hand. “You feel so good. Both of you. Safewords, please.”

“Glacier,” Steve said.

“Milton Keynes,” said Peggy, and leaned over to kiss them gently. “I'm going to ask you colors, too, love.”

“Fair enough,” Bucky agreed, and stretched out under their lovers' hands. “Thank you, thank you darlings...”

“May I?” Steve asked gently, hand at the waist of Bucky's briefs. “Please.”

Bucky smiled, and lifted their hips, and Steve slid them off, barely touching Bucky and then only along the sides of their hips. Their cock was hard, curved up towards their belly, but both Peggy and Steve ignored it in favor of cuddling Bucky between them.

They started with slow kisses again, but it wasn't long before Bucky was making soft hitching sounds as Steve rolled their nipples between his fingertips, telling them how beautiful they were, already showing bruises on their shoulders, little bite-marks on their hips.

“Mark me up,” Bucky demanded, and Steve kissed them hard, one hand falling to his cock at the sound Bucky made. He stroked once, twice, then forced himself to move his hand to Bucky's hip, pinching the skin there hard. Peggy had slipped away to dig out her harness and dildo, and Steve meant for her to go first. Which meant breathing carefully, and making sure Bucky had the requested marks.

“I didn't know you liked this,” Steve marveled, admiring the mark he'd sucked up on the meat of Bucky's chest. “We'll have to get some toys just for you.”

Bucky laughed, a little breathless. “Love it. Oh, Steve, I feel so good. Can't see anything, but can _hear_. You were touching yourself, weren't you?”

“Mmmhmm.” Steve leaned over and kissed them, biting just a little at their lips. “I couldn't resist at the sight of you.”

Bucky made a soft noise. “Can I...?”

“What, darling?” Steve asked, and Bucky sat up, turning carefully to where Steve sat. They reached out, tentative and careful, and found Steve's chest.

“Oh,” Steve murmured as Bucky leaned over, every movement calculated carefully, slow and uncertain and hungry. They wrapped their lips around the head of Steve's cock, and then wrapped their metal hand around his cock and oh _God_ that was a new sensation for Steve, one that he liked very much indeed it turned out, hard metal contrasted with Bucky's soft mouth and swollen lips and the sight of his lover there, bowed before him and –

“Hey, hey,” Steve gasped out. “No, love.”

Bucky sprang back, snatching their hand away. “Shit. Shit, I'm sorry, I should have asked you first, fuck, Steve--”

Steve, who dearly wished Peggy would hurry up before he fucked this up even _more_ , silenced Bucky with a kiss, pulling them into his arms. “No, no, that's not it at all,” he murmured against Bucky's mouth, trying not to kiss too frantically. “That felt...amazing. A little too amazing,” he admitted. “I still want to fuck you, darling.”

Bucky laughed, and cuddled close. “And I want to feel you in me. I'm sorry, I know you don't mind my arm.”

“I wasn't very helpful either,” Steve said wryly, and turned Bucky's head for another kiss, sweet and easy.

“I leave you two alone for _five minutes_ ,” Peggy said, coming into the room. “Good God.”

“I apologize for nothing,” Bucky announced, and turned, reaching out toward's Peggy's voice. “What have you got for me?”

Peggy grinned and stole closer to the bed, silent. “Come to the edge, Bucky.”

Steve let Bucky go, and swallowed hard watching them crawl across the bed, hips slinking. It should have been ridiculous. It was, a little bit. It was also unholy hot.

Bucky stopped and knelt at the edge of the bed, patient and waiting, and only moved when Peggy stepped over to them, harness and dildo already on, and gently nudged the tip of the hard phallus against their lips.

“Oh,” Bucky breathed, and opened their mouth, taking it halfway, reaching out to steady themselves holding onto Peggy's hip. They moaned around the cock, big and stiff and Steve shivered to watch it, trying not to think too far ahead.

“What color?” Peggy asked, and Bucky moaned happily again, drawing their head back.

“Green. The greenest green you can imagine,” they said fervently, and Peggy smiled.

“Good. Now let go, precious, and lie on your back. It's a little easier that way,” she cooed, shoving them back with unexpected strength.

Bucky rushed to obey, and Steve swallowed hard. They hadn't meant to play, but this was going to be okay. This let him adore Bucky, care for them, let them be comfortable in their skin. Steve almost never got to dom, but this...Bucky was the perfect sub, as far as he was concerned, and he was going to love every moment of taking care of them, of making them fly.

He moved to kneel beside Bucky, tucking a pillow under their hips, still careful to keep his hands away from Bucky's cock.

“Steve, prepare Bucky for me?” Peggy asked, then bent down to kissed Bucky. “I would have cut my nails and taken the polish off, if I'd known,” she explained, and ran one long, perfectly-manicured nail across Bucky's cheek. “Don't want to hurt you accidentally, beloved.”

Bucky smiled, and nuzzled into her hand while Steve popped the cap on the lube and covered his fingers more than generously. “My Peggy, my good domme,” they praised, and grinned. “Hurting me on purpose, now...”

“Oh, now, that's fun for everyone,” Peggy agreed, and, whip-fast, scratched across Bucky's chest, and they cried out so beautifully that Steve had to stop for a moment. It wasn't enough to damage their skin, but enough that they felt it, and enough that it left beautiful marks across their chest.

“Gorgeous,” Steve said, and described the marks to Bucky while pushing his forefinger into them, slow and easy and unrelenting. “Absolutely beautiful. Color?”

“Green. And good,” Bucky breathed. “Want to be beautiful for you.”

“You are,” Steve assured them, adding another finger, still slow and steady, admiring the way Bucky's legs fell open, they way they tried to keep from pushing down and failed entirely. “Christ, I want to mark you up,” he said. He touched the star riding the skin of Bucky's hip with his free hand. “Not just this. With a riding crop, perhaps.”

Bucky moaned and nodded, and Steve curled his fingers, enjoying how that made Bucky clench their fists and reach, grope the air, find _anything_ they could grab onto.

Steve scissored his fingers one last time, then pulled them out, leaning over to kiss Bucky as he did so, refusing to give up that intimate connection.

“Oh...” Bucky sighed a little. “Stevie, my Steve...”

“Shh, baby. It's Peggy's turn now,” Steve soothed, shifting away to wipe his hand on the towel Peggy had thoughtfully brought with her. He stroked himself idly, just enough to feel good without pushing him too far (don't think about Bucky's metal hand, that soft mouth don't _think_ about that right now Rogers), and watched Peggy work her magic.

She knelt between Bucky's legs, one hand rubbing their belly, the other wrapped around the harnessed cock jutting up from her mons. It was bigger than Steve's fingers, long and hard, and she was careful at first. Always careful, lining up and starting to push in.

Bucky cried out, their legs splaying wider, hands coming up to grip the headboard. “Green, before you ask,” they growled. “ _So green_.”

Peggy laughed, hands coming around Bucky's hips. “Thank you. By the way, you're not to come until after Steve has fucked you, my dear.”

Bucky made a harsh noise at that.

“Color?” Steve asked quickly.

“Oh my God, _green_.” Bucky laughed. “Sorry. You're being very good, loves. Trust me to be good too?”

“Okay,” Steve said, reaching over to stroke their hair out of their face. “You're still not allowed to come. I know you can do that, love. I know you can.”

Bucky whimpered as Peggy slid in a little further, achingly slow. “F'r you. I won't, for you.”

“Damn straight you won't,” Peggy said, scratching down Bucky's chest again, nipples to where their pubic hair just started. “We have a cock ring, to make sure.”

“Yellow,” Bucky said promptly. “No. Not when I'm enby.”

“Understood,” Peggy said, and leaned over to kiss Bucky gently, her hair brushing across their face. “I'm sorry.”

“Nnn. Don't be,” Bucky groaned, pushing down, and Peggy bottomed out. “Oh, fuck. Fuck. You... _fuck_.”

Peggy laughed, light and delighted, and started to pull back before snapping her hips forward, and it was Steve's turn to swear, because _holy shit_. Bucky's knuckles were white where their hands clenched around the headboard. Their breathing was still steady, but they were sweating, skin going slick with it. And Peggy was grinning, that catlike smile that meant she still had a surprise, and he thought he figured it out when she kept her hips moving, once, twice more, letting Bucky get used to the full feeling, the stiff dildo.

Then she pulled back and pressed something at the base of it and _Steve_ had to work hard at not coming because when she snapped her hips again, Bucky howled.

“Oh my _God_ , of course you've got a fucking bullet vibe,” they moaned when Peggy pulled out again.

“How are you speaking in complete sentences?” Steve wondered aloud.

“He's got a point,” Peggy said, and she was panting now, leaning over to hold herself up on her arms. “I'm not working hard enough.”

“No, you are, trust me, you're perfect,” Bucky managed, and cried out when she dug her hands into their shoulders, thumbs pressing on bitemarks there.

Peggy slowed her hips then, drawing out the sensations, driving into Bucky so slowly, making them moan and keen and when tears started leaking out from under the scarf, Steve leaned over for a soft kiss, then whispered in their ear. “Pain or softness?”

“Pain,” Bucky said, their voice raw and low, and Steve wrapped their hair around his hand and yanked.

Bucky's body jackknifed on the bed, and something about the angle made Peggy yell, grinding her hips into them, pressing deep and shaking, her orgasm given up only reluctantly, refusing to collapse onto Bucky.

“Oh my God,” Bucky whispered, moving their hands to stroke Peggy's arms. “Fuck me, my girl. That was...”

“Amazing,” she grated, slipping back just enough to turn the bullet vibe off. “Goddamn. Bucky, you're so good, my darling one. _So good_.” She smiled, and leaned over to kiss him, long and openmouthed, a connection made a little bit stronger. “And still not come. I knew you could do it, darling. It'll be easy with Steve. His doesn't vibrate,” she teased, and Bucky laughed, and wiped their cheeks.

“Oh, precious,” Peggy murmured. “Green?”

“So green,” Bucky assured her. “I love you both so much.”

“And we love you,” Peggy said, finally pulling out, and reaching gratefully for the bottle of water Steve handed her. She drained half of it, then helped Bucky sit up so they could finish it off. “Your night's only half-over, beloved. Time for the voyeur over there to do a bit of work.”

“You two would make anyone into a voyeur,” Steve said with careful dignity, and leaned over to kiss Bucky. “I love you very much, James Barnes. Now roll over and get your ass in the air.”

Bucky keened, and if there was one thing Steve was going to take away from this night (Steve was going to take many things away from this night), it was that his lover had the most amazing vocal range. And wasn't afraid to use it.

Bucky moved quickly, rolling over and going onto their knees, forearms against the bed and head resting between their arms.

“Oh, beautiful,” Steve praised, running his hand over Buck's thighs while Peggy made very appreciative sounds from where she lay on Bucky's other side. “Gorgeous. But Jesus, you're pale.”

“I...yes?” Bucky tried.

“Mmm. 'Specially here,” Steve said, skimming his hand along Bucky's ass. “You're gonna turn red so beautifully.”

“I – oh _fuck_ ,” Bucky hissed when Steve drew his arm back and landed a smack right on the meat of Bucky's ass. “Oh, Christ.”

“Yup, bright red, just like I thought,” Steve mused, pressing his fingertips into the mark.

Bucky _mewled_ , and Steve smacked them again, a little to one side, then once more, the last one actually leaving a handprint.

Peggy applauded him silently while Bucky wailed into the mattress.

Steve repeated the series of smacks, moving all the time, until Bucky's skin was hot to the touch and they were facedown into the mattress, actually _sobbing_.

“Oh, you're the best,” Steve praised. “God, Bucky, you didn't tell me you were perfect at subbing.” He leaned over and kissed the small of Bucky's back, their hip, the side of their thigh. “You're so beautiful, and you're so _good_. I'd have come five times already if I were you,” he said, kissing Bucky's trembling shoulders. “Just hold on until I'm done with you, darling. Can you do that?”

“I can do anything you ask of me,” Bucky managed, voice thick.

“Of course you can,” Steve said, voice warm with pride. “Right. My turn to fuck that lovely ass.”

Bucky sighed deeply, like all of the air left them, and Steve got to watch them drop away from themselves, their face relaxing, body somehow going gentle, although not moving from the position Steve had put them into.

“That's right,” Steve murmured. “Fly for me, darling.” It took moments to roll on a condom, to cover his fingers in lube again and just check on Bucky. Their cock was hard and leaking, but they wouldn't come, not until Steve told them to.

Bucky had gone quiet, just soft little noises now, and Steve praised them, even as he squeezed their ass, drew out the sensations on the abused skin. Bucky couldn't set their limits, so Steve would stay well inside what he knew felt good.

He slipped in gently, slow and easy and groaned at the tightness, at the connection. Bucky pushed back eagerly, and Steve laughed, petting them a little.

“All right. Oh, _God_ you're good,” he praised, and held onto Bucky's hips, starting to move them together, nice and steady. He could see the line of Bucky's back, moved one hand to touch the back of their ribcage, Bucky's breathing still steady and easy. Good, good. So good.

Steve took his time, drawing out the pleasure, Bucky's soft sounds driving him on until he came, easy as you please, buried deep in his lover.

He drew out, feeling drained and exhausted and unutterably happy, and Peggy helped him roll Bucky onto their back, gentle where his skin was still red or bruised.

“We're done with you,” Peggy said sweetly. “Our darling. You've been so good, Bucky.”

Steve smiled, and leaned over to kiss them, Bucky turning their head, chasing Steve's lips when he drew away and making Steve laugh. “ _So_ good,” he praised. “You look completely fucked out, and you're so beautiful. Come for us, love.”

And Jesus, Mary, and all the saints, Steve had never seen someone come just from words before, but Bucky did then, obeying to the last as they came silently, weeping and shaking and holy _shit_ so beautiful in Peggy's arms.

He and Peggy held them, and kissed them through the aftershocks until Bucky lay between them, happy and boneless, still mostly out of it.

Steve took a moment to kiss Peggy deeply, remind her that she was loved too, and she kissed back just as eagerly, the two of them getting the giggles, just a little bit.

“Right,” Peggy said. “I'll get a cloth to wipe us all off, and the aloe lotion.”

“Start a bath, too?” Steve requested. “We can take turns in the tub with them. Aloe afterwards.” He kissed Bucky's brow. “Do we have anything sweet? Shit. Next time I'm going to the bakery first.”

Peggy laughed a little. “There's cookies in the kitchen. Stay with them for now, I won't be long,” she promised, getting up and heading for their bathroom.

Steve cradled Bucky close, listening to Peggy start the bath, rummaging around for something and oh, bless his brilliant wife, that was sandalwood oil she was adding in.

She came back out and started to clean Bucky off, and Steve gently untied the scarf to find Bucky blinking a little, sleepy-eyed and happy.

“Hey you,” Steve said, and leaned in for a kiss. “Cookies okay?”

Bucky nodded, and snuggled into Peggy when Steve got up, fetching more water and the whole box of sugar cookies.

They all feasted, feeding each other and Peggy running into the bathroom to stop the water. Steve scooped Bucky up, bridal-style, to carry them the short distance.

“I c'n walk,” Bucky mumbled.

“Sure about that?”

“No.” Bucky snuggled into Steve's arms oh, oh _fuck_ no one had ever told him that Domming could feel this good. Bucky trusted him, completely. Steve had helped make Bucky like this, so high off of bliss that they couldn't walk.

Steve cradled them a little bit closer.

“There you are,” Peggy chided, and slid into the water, holding her arms out. “I would like my Bucky now, please.”

Steve laughed, and started to lower Bucky into the water. “It might sting a little,” he warned, and Bucky's breath _did_ hitch when he first hit the warm water, but they sighed as Steve lowered them all the way, to lie against Peggy's chest, between her legs.

Steve sat by the bathtub, just touching them both, splashing the warm water up to soothe and warm bare skin, glad that their tiny bathroom held heat so well. Bucky's eyes were clearing as they came back to themselves, and all three were quiet, happy to just rest in the moment.

“Your turn,” Peggy said, and Bucky sat up, scooting forward so that Peggy could get up, and Steve could take her place. There wasn't really room enough for both of them, but fuck it, they still squished together, even if their long legs did stick up out of the water. Bucky laughed and cuddled back against Steve, turning their head for a kiss.

“We need a bigger place, I know,” Steve said, and Bucky hummed a little.

“When's your lease up?” Peggy asked softly. She'd wrapped up in a big towel and taken Steve's place by the bathtub, resting her hand on their thighs.

“Feburary.” Bucky smiled at her again. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

“Yeah. We are,” Steve said. Someday they were going to discuss something _ahead_ of time, but this felt right, it felt _perfect_. To have their Bucky there all the time, all three of them sharing their lives. Yes, yes yes.

“Then yes. Please. Oh, loves, please.”

Peggy laughed and leaned in, kissing Bucky then Steve. “We should find a new place, just for all of us.”

Bucky smiled. “You just don't want to have to give up closet space to me.”

“That too. I've seen your wardrobe, Barnes,” she teased, and tickled their neck a little. “I love you. Both of you.”

And that set off a round of, in Steve's opinion, frankly gross endearments that lasted until the bath water cooled too much.

Bucky hauled themselves out of the tub, and laughed when Steve and Peggy rubbed them down, Steve drying himself quickly and grabbing the bottle of aloe as they headed to the bedroom. Dawn was just breaking, and the light was grey and soft.

Peggy helped Bucky get their arm off, and Steve made them lie down, rubbing the aloe in wherever there were still marks. Bucky was asleep and Peggy was yawning when he finally capped the bottle again and tossed it wherever. It was past time to be joining them, Steve decided, and he made sure Peggy was comfortable, that Bucky had the most pillows arranged the way they liked and that they weren't lying on anything that would be sore the next day. Finally, he pulled the quilt up over them and lay down. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for comments and kudos! You can find me on Tumblr at dietraumerei.tumblr.com. Incidentally, if you arrive here via someone's rec, could you please let me know? I don't always find them due to Tumblr's non-awesome search function, and loooove learning about them ;)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note that posting new chapters is going to go down to once a week for a little while. I want to get further written ahead, as well as some (fun!) stuff coming up in my life that'll keep me crazy-busy for the next few weeks.
> 
> Also, keep an eye out for a companion story that'll collect short stories, outtakes, etc. from this universe. Because I cannot stop writing these people. (This also means, if you have any prompts or anything you'd like to see, certainly suggest it!)

The next morning, Peggy woke up in a bed with far too few people in it.

“Where's Bucky?” she asked, and Steve's eyes opened at the question.

“Unh?”

“They're not in bed with us...” She sat up, and relaxed at the distant kitchen sounds. “Never mind.”

“Mmm.” Steve rolled over and wrapped his arms around her hips, smushing his face up against her right leg. “Love you.”

“Love you too, silly,” she murmured, ruffling his hair. Her husband was always so sweet after they played. Bucky was in for a treat when they finished making coffee, or whatever.

'Whatever' turned out to be Bucky coming in with a huge tray filled with a gourmet breakfast. Scrambled eggs with soft cheese and smoked salmon, perfectly-done pancakes, browned sausages and bacon and –

“Bucky, did you find me black pudding?” she asked, voice gone small, betraying her.

“I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a butcher,” he said innocently, placing the tray down between her and Steve. “And a little bird told me some of the things you get homesick for. It's not my fault I can hide food in the back of your fridge.”

“What...” She trailed off and carefully reached for him, pulling on the lapels of Steve's borrowed robe, and kissing him for all she was worth. “Dear God. We're not letting you leave. Ever.”

Bucky laughed, and kissed her back sweetly. “Eat it all like a good lass, and maybe I'll stay,” he teased, kneeling at the foot of the bed. “Oh. Male pronouns please, my loves.”

Steve nodded, and leaned in for his own sweet kiss, while Peggy grabbed a fork and started tasting. The black pudding was exquisite. So was everything else, for that matter. “This is amazing. Steve, taste this,” she urged, cutting him a little bit of pancake. “Is that...chili?”

“Mmmhmm. A little bit of chili in with the chocolate, to warm us all up,” Bucky said, cutting a little from the other side for himself.

“You're amazing,” Steve mumbled through a full mouth. “What the hell. How did I not know this about you?”

“I'm usually asleep?” Bucky laughed and leaned in to kiss Steve's cheek. “Coffee'll be done in a moment and I'll go get it then. But nobody gets top drop on my watch, _especially_ not you two.”

“Oh, Bucky.” Peggy put her fork down and opened her arms for Bucky to come into them, his weight warm and nice on her. “You darling.”

Steve put his fork down, eyes downcast. “Thank you. Did we...did we do enough for you last night?” he asked hesitantly. “Afterwards, I mean.”

“Steve, I am so completely spoiled it would be sinful if I believed in such things,” Bucky sighed, graciously letting Peggy pet him a little. “The bath was perfect. Falling asleep with both of you was even more perfect. I'm going to be on a high for _days_ from last night.”

Steve smiled shyly. “I'm sorry,” he said. “For anything I did wrong. I know I'm not a great Dom, and I hope I didn't screw up too much.”

Peggy's jaw dropped a little, and Bucky sat up, clearly upset.

“ _What_?” he asked, and reached out, taking Steve's hand in both of his. “What on earth are you talking about?”

Steve shrugged and looked away. “I don't think I screwed up, but I...I don't top hardly ever, so I probably did. Peggy's the one who's amazing.”

Peggy exchanged a horrified look with Bucky, who got the tray of food out of the way in record time, the two of them tackling Steve and wrapping around him.

“Um?” Steve said.

“Right, we're going to talk very seriously for a minute,” Bucky said, voice calm and loving, but with none of the sweetness of just a few minutes ago. Peggy spared a moment to be grateful for his very existence. For Steve to think such things after such a good night...

“I let you physically harm me,” Bucky said bluntly. “I let you make me _even more_ vulnerable than I usually am, and I let you fuck me. I let you experiment with the best ways to mark my skin and to cause me pain because _I wanted all of these things_. And I trusted you completely, trusted you to do such things knowing you'd never truly harm me. That's what it means to sub, Steve. To give you the responsibility, so I can fly. And I did. I went into subspace with you, and you know damn well how much that means I trust you.” He took Steve's face in his hands. “You watched out for me every second of last night, and you took care of me. I should have told you all of this. You made it so I could let go, let myself feel pleasure and pain and be loved. You were perfect, darling, and I'm so, so sorry you ever doubted yourself.”

Steve swallowed hard. “I'm...sorry?”

Bucky sighed, and kissed him tenderly. “When we do that again, I need you to trust yourself, Steve. And know that I'd put my life in your hands and know it was kept safe. Okay?”

Steve smiled, and hugged him tightly. “Okay. I love you. Both of you.”

“I love you too,” Peggy whispered into his neck. “You idiot, I love you.”

Steve pulled her a little closer too. “Oh, Pegs. C'mon you two. Let's eat breakfast before it gets even colder.”

Bucky retrieved the tray, and went to fetch coffee, the warm mugs welcome against the sudden winter chill in the air. They finished eating, and dwelled over coffee, Steve making Bucky lie down and strip to his skin, just to check on him. A few bruises remained, but most of the marks had faded overnight, and Steve wrapped Bucky in the quilt and deposited him in Peggy's arms with orders to be lazy all day and rest.

“Just to double-check, did he put me to bed for the rest of the day over five bruises about the size of a pea?” Bucky asked Peggy when Steve had gone to meet his first client.

“Yup,” she said.

“The next time he thinks he's not taking care of me, I get to smack him, right?”

“Yup,” she said, and giggled, leaning back against the headboard. “Just out of curiosity, can you get free of that blanket?”

“You know, I honestly don't know?” he mused. “I feel like a human burrito.”

“Look like one too.”

“You're the best woman alive, Peggy, and don't let anyone ever tell you different,” Bucky sighed, squirming a little so he could rest his head on her shoulder.

“Damn straight,” she said, and laughed into his hair, cuddling him close. “Hey. All day is a little excessive, but I don't have to start work right away. Stay like this for a bit?”

“Please?” Bucky requested, and she tightened her arms around him. “I don't get enough time just with you, love.”

“Bucky, we work together all day,” she pointed out.

“Not the same.” Bucky sat up a little to meet her gaze, his eyes gone serious. “I love you, Peggy. I know I'm all over Steve because that's what he likes, but I need you to know that I love you, and I'll do anything I can to show it.”

Peggy leaned in to kiss him. “I know, Bucky. You know I love you too, darling. Now c'mon burrito, cuddle up to me before Steve senses that you're moving under your own power or something and comes up here.”

Bucky laughed and gave a little wriggle, and okay. She owed Steve for wrapping their lover up like this, because it was adorable.

They dozed together, talked lazily, kissed more and, in the end, Peggy did in fact have to help free Bucky from the quilt.

 

 

 

“How'd you sleep last night?” Steve asked, as Bucky let himself in, shivering a little in the sudden November chill.

“Didn't,” he mumbled, and yawned.

“Shit, I'm sorry honey.” Steve came around the counter and pulled Bucky into a gentle hug.

“Yeah.” Bucky rested his head on Steve's shoulder for a moment. “Fuck. I'm gonna be useless. Should've stayed home...”

“Hey, love you anyway.” Steve rubbed Bucky's back lightly. “I don't have anyone in until noon, want to go cuddle in bed and see if you sleep?”

Bucky shook his head. “Wouldn't do any good, and I'd just get frustrated. Thanks though.” He smiled wryly. “At least I'm getting a shitton of work done.”

“Your boss better damn well appreciate this.”

Bucky laughed, and finally, gently, pulled out of Steve's arms. “She does. I'm fucking lucky, actually, she's totally okay with three solid days of work, then me disappearing for a week.”

“Good,” Steve said, and kissed Bucky's forehead. “Oh, honey.”

“I'll try drugs again tonight,” Bucky promised, rubbing his eyes.

“Would it help to have someone there?” Steve asked.

“Steve, you and Peggy in my bed is always an improvement.” Bucky said, shouldering his bag again. “Just don't take it personally if I go have weird waking nightmares on the sofa.”

“I damn well will,” Steve said indignantly, reaching out to catch Bucky's hand. “You'll have them in bed, where your lovers can comfort you.”

“Steve, I scream.”

Steve's lips thinned.

“Hi Bucky,” Peggy said, appearing from the back entrance. “Oh, shit. Still no sleep?”

Bucky sighed, and rubbed his forehead. “No. Sorry, I know I look amazing...”

“Eh, I think I'll live.” She leaned in and kissed him hello. “Why's my husband glaring at you though?”

“Bucky thinks some screaming nightmares mean he should sleep alone.”

“Bucky is an adult who can make his own decisions, Steve,” Peggy said.

“I know! It's not that! Just...I wanna be there. To help.”

Bucky groaned, and buried his face in his hands. “ _Fine_. Why are we arguing again?”

“Because you love each other very much and you choose to show it in the most irritating ways possible.” Peggy wrapped one arm around Bucky's waist, and kissed his cheek. “C'mon. I just made a fresh pot of coffee.”

Bucky laughed and leaned into her, reaching out for Steve's hand. “Thanks. By the way, Steve volunteered you to come over to my place tonight.”

“Awesome, I can bring a load of laundry,” Peggy said, and reached for Steve as well, the three of them drawing together.

“Thanks,” Bucky said quietly, and he and Peggy left to get to work.

 

 

“Shit, it's really snowing out there,” Bucky said, pushing the curtain aside to peer out into the night. “Steve, you gonna be okay meds-wise for a couple of days if we get snowed in?”

“Yes.”

“I literally heard you bite your tongue, and I want you to know I appreciate it,” Bucky said sweetly, letting the curtain fall.

Steve rolled his eyes.

Peggy topped up her glass. This was not the romantic night she'd wanted. This was Steve and Bucky getting on each others' nerves, and thereby getting the hell on her nerves. This was a blizzard and silent streets and she did _not_ like this country with its stupid weather. It never snowed like this back home. Hell, it barely snowed, and if it did that harsh North Sea wind made sure it didn't stick.

Peggy blinked hard, and took a largeish swallow. This was just one of those nights to be endured, when they rubbed each other wrong. It would pass.

Steve moved quietly to sit beside her, arm around her waist. “Hey,” he said softly.

Peggy shook her head. “I'm fine. Just a bit homesick.”

Bucky heard that, from where he was being cranky by the window. “Oh, Peg,” he said, and came over to kneel in front of her, hands resting on her knees. “Oh, honey.”

She laughed to hide how close she was to crying. “Shut up. I'm _fine_.”

“No you're not, you're stuck in a small space with the two most unendurable men in your life,” Bucky said wryly, and Peggy laughed for real.

“Okay, that part's true,” she admitted, and smiled when Steve kissed her cheek.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Bucky said, stroking his hands over the soft fabric of her skirt. “What can I do to help, love?”

Peggy shrugged, and shook her head. “Just ride it out. Ignore me.”

“The hell we will,” Steve said, and pulled Peggy onto his lap – and away from Bucky, she noticed. Almost certainly unintentionally, but still.

Bucky didn't comment, though, just sat back and smiled up at them, and Peggy would have missed the flicker across his face if she hadn't been looking for it.

“When was the last time you were home?” he asked.

“Last Christmas. Steve and I stayed there a month.” She grinned. “It was great. A lot of my friends were home too, so we could meet up and go to a pub and _not_ drink cider in some corner of a field somewhere, like we were stuck doing in college.”

Bucky laughed, settling back on his elbows. “You did that too? We'd always find some corner of a cornfield somewhere. Only good thing about growing up in the country.”

“So did we, except we call it maize,” Peggy said, debating whether she should give Steve a pinch for the way his arms were wrapped around her, a little too possessive.

“How about you, Steve?” Bucky asked, and Steve shook his head.

“Yes, there are a decided lack of cornfields in Brooklyn,” Bucky said dryly.

Steve rolled his eyes. “I didn't really have a lot of friends in high school, either.”

“I cannot imagine why,” Bucky said, then covered his mouth with one hand, eyes going wide. “Oh my God, Steve, no. I don't mean that.”

“Well, you're not wrong,” Steve said, not a little bitterly.

Peggy rolled her eyes. They hadn't had a really mean argument yet. Of course they picked a blizzard to have one. Of _course_.

“If I said no, I was, that you deserved love, you'd just disagree with me, wouldn't you?” Bucky said, clearly frustrated.

“Welcome to Steve,” Peggy said, because, well, she meant it and she was tipsy and angry and wanted to go _home_.

Steve scowled at them both. “Forget it. Never mind. I should have been surrounded by friends in high school and should be absolutely happy at all times now and totally secure at all times. Because you guys so clearly are."

“For fuck's sake, you know we didn't mean that,” Bucky groaned. “Just...Christ. Arguing with you is like hitting a brick wall.”

“Yeah, well you're the one who decided to set up camp beside the brick wall that doesn't shelter you or any damn thing you'd expect of a wall,” Steve said, face growing darker as the metaphor got away from him.

“That...doesn't even make _sense_ ,” Bucky growled, and rubbed his eyes. “Fuck. Fuck everything, you guys. I can't think and everything sucks and frankly I'm going to try and drug myself to sleep. You guys do what you want. Sofa folds out if you don't want to share the bed.” He got up and stalked out, and Peggy turned a glare at Steve.

“Oh, what, it's all my fucking fault now?” he said, and at least he could _try_ and fight with her quietly.

“No, it's all our faults,” she hissed back. “For fuck's sake, look at us! What are we even fighting _over_? And what was that whole thing with you pulling me away from him?”

“What? What are you _talking_ about?” Steve asked. “Christ, I love that we have an open marriage now.”

There was a fight, and then there was a place that, if they went there, there was no coming back. Peggy refused to be afraid.

“What, did you hate the closed one?”

“Oh my God. Oh my God, no.” Steve's eyes widened in genuine shock. “No, Peggy, never think that. I never...God. Peggy, I love you. You're my...oh my God,” he repeated again, and reached out, fingertips barely touching her arms. “You're everything. You're all I ever needed. If we hadn't met Bucky, or if you hadn't wanted to try the poly thing, I would have still died the happiest man on earth because I got _you_.”

Peggy nodded quickly, eyes blurring. “I'm sorry.”

“I get the feeling we're going to be saying that a lot soon,” Steve said quietly, pulling her into a hug.

“No, you don't have to,” Bucky said softly from the doorway, eyes suspiciously shiny. “I'm sorry. I'm the only one that needs...I'm sorry. Both of you, so much.”

“Bucky, _no_ ,” Peggy said, reaching out to him. “No, no, don't...”

He shrugged and smiled at them, so sweet and sad. “It's okay, love,” he said gently. “I'm not breaking up with you. We should have worked out more carefully how I stood. I forgot...ah, never mind that.” He smiled and came over to them, reaching out to rest his hand on her back. “I'm sorry if you fought because of me. Look, you guys take the big bed, I'll be fine on the sofa.”

“Bucky...” Steve said uneasily. “I mean, if you really want to sleep alone, we won't stop you. But don't...don't exile yourself.”

“I'm not,” Bucky said calmly. “I'm giving you guys space. Space I should have from the start. Your marriage is the most important thing. To me, too.”

“Then you're wrong,” Peggy said without thinking, and for once it didn't fuck things up. “Don't put us on a pedestal because we signed a document and wear rings.”

“I'm not,” Bucky assured them, still so calm and understanding and still...nope, she couldn't quite get him to look her in the eye, couldn't see that ache there. “I just...forgot. That I'm...”

“What?” Steve said, finally finding his voice. “Our lover? Our best friend?” He sighed and wrapped his arm around Bucky's waist, pulling him close and resting their foreheads together. “My heart is big enough for both of you.”

“I know!” Bucky insisted, but Steve shook his head.

“No, you don't get it. There's...there's not more or less anymore,” he said quietly. “You were never our pet, never our toy. But you're something so much more now, Buck.”

Bucky swallowed hard and looked at Peggy, who nodded, a little frantically. “Different love,” she said. “But not lesser. Got it?”

“Um. I think so.” Bucky squeezed his eyes shut tightly. “Can we talk about this when I'm in my right mind?”

“Yeah.” Steve took a deep breath, and Peggy leaned into him, suddenly exhausted. “Jesus, we're all terrible tonight. We'll talk soon, but let's just go to bed?”

“Yeah. Bed,” Bucky agreed, and they all turned to the bedroom now, getting changed quietly, taking turns in the bathroom, and then falling into the big, soft bed. Not cuddling, not huddled together like they usually were, but Peggy realized, before she fell asleep, that she could feel Bucky on one side of her, Steve on the other. She could tell them apart by feel and smell – Bucky wore cologne and Steve didn't – maybe even by body temperature. She _knew_ they were close to her, and she fell asleep on her belly, arms tilted out just a little bit, reaching for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos bring me immense joy.
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	18. Chapter 18

“Shh, you'll wake him up!”

“Steve, he's on Ambien. We could hold a war and he'd sleep through it.”

“Still...”

“No sane person could be quiet after that, anyway.”

“Aw, Peggy...”

Bucky smiled, listening to the banter and let himself drift awake. It was so nice and warm under his big quilt, and he knew the world was still quiet and still, covered in snow. Maybe they'd go play in it later. Or maybe they wouldn't leave the bed all day. Either was fine. They needed a good day, after the horrible fighting of the night before. They needed to talk, but first, touch.

He rolled over and stretched, bumping up against another body. Steve, he identified, resting his head on a very muscular shoulder.

“See, we woke him up!”

“No y'didn't,” Bucky mumbled, and finally opened his eyes. Peggy was stark naked, straddling Steve's hips. Steve was stark naked too, for that matter.

Bucky thanked the Lord aloud. At some length. Until Peggy flopped over and silenced him with a kiss.

“Morning, you,” Bucky said. “Did you guys have sex in my bed without me?”

Steve at least looked appropriately guilty; Peggy just looked smug. “Um. Kind of. That's okay, right?” Steve asked, attempting to look innocent.

“Was it _good_ sex?” Bucky asked, and Peggy nodded enthusiastically. “Then yes, of course.” He laughed and kissed her again, then pulled Steve in for his own kiss. “I slept for eight whole hours. Frankly, that was better than sex.”

Steve smiled, and petted Bucky's hair a little. “Want to sleep a little more? We'll hold you while you drift off.”

Bucky shook his head. “I'm up for the day.” He rolled his hips, and didn't bother pointing out his double entendre, not when Peggy was snickering like that.

“Oh Christ,” Steve said, and rolled his eyes.

“You can just watch if you want,” Bucky offered innocently.

“The hell I will,” Steve replied, and slipped his hand up under Bucky's shirt, caressing his belly. “Want you.”

“Sweet talker – oh!” Bucky let his head fall back when Steve found his nipples, pinching lightly. “Oh, please, please...”

Peggy had been far too quiet for far too long, and he didn't trust her, reaching out his hand to grope for her, sighing happily when she pulled his sweatpants off. Naked. Naked was good.

“Shirt,” she ordered, and she and Steve stripped him, taking turns kissing him. Bucky wondered if he could get drunk on the two of them, and decided he could.

“You woke up fast,” Peggy teased, running her fingers lightly up and down Bucky's cock, already hard and aching.

“Woke up right,” Bucky corrected her, and keened a little when Steve bent his head to kiss and nuzzle Bucky's throat. “Oh, honey. Both of you.”

Peggy giggled, kissing the other side of Bucky's throat, humming happily at the feel of his stubble. “Whatever shall we do with you?”

“Something nice?” Bucky asked, stretching out as Steve caressed his hip. “Oh, like that. But to the right.”

“God, look who's all cocky with a little sleep in him,” Steve said, leaning over to bite Bucky's collarbone lightly.

“I think we can manage more than nice,” Peggy purred. “Nothing too complex for our darling, not first thing in the morning. But something to make you happy.”

“Definitely that,” Steve agreed, licking softly at the bite mark he'd left. “Bucky, I'm so sorry. I hurt you last night, and I'm so sorry.”

“So am I,” Bucky said softly, and he nudged Steve's face up to kiss him. “I'm sorry I hurt you both. Forgive me?”

“If you forgive me,” Peggy said, leaning over and tucking a stray strand of hair behind Bucky's ear, clearing the way for a tender kiss. “I was awful.”

“You were _homesick_ ,” Bucky said, and pulled her down to lie on his chest, shoving them both tight against Steve. “And you were stuck with the Asshole Twins.”

Steve laughed, and kissed Bucky's cheek. “I meant what I said, love. That's why we want to move in with you. No lesser, no greater, just different.”

“Do you really love me like that?” Bucky asked quietly.

“Yes. _God_ yes,” Steve said fervently. “I...need _you_. I need everything that is you in my life.”

Bucky swallowed hard, and pressed against Steve a little harder, held Peggy a little tighter. “You're the first people to love me this completely. Genderqueer, think I understand things I don't know, don't sleep right, metal arm, everything that is me. You love me.”

“You forgot generous, tender, funny, and compassionate to a fault,” Peggy informed him, and kissed him hard.

Bucky groaned a little, hips rolling again, letting her sit up and straddle his hips. Steve pressed a kiss to Peggy's thigh, then Bucky's waist, then mouthed at Peggy's breast. Then flicked his tongue against Bucky's nipple.

He went back and forth between them as Peggy slipped onto Bucky's cock, easy as anything, and he moaned, feeling her warm and wet and so good around him. She was soaking already, and he realized with a little jolt that that wasn't all her, that Steve had come already, that Bucky was feeling them _both_ in this impossibly intimate way.

There was no crying out, almost no noise from any of them. Just slow, sweet rhythm, Bucky's thumb circling Peggy's clit while his hips moved, Steve still moving between them, sensation building slow and easy and when he came, it felt like it lasted forever, slow and gentle as a tide coming in until he lay on his back, Peggy gasping above him and she tumbled over to land in his and Steve's arms, all three of them nestling together.

“We're gonna have fights like that again,” Bucky said fuzzily. “But God, I hope we can love each other like this, every time.”

 

 

“We can't keep putting off talking, y'know,” Steve said to Peggy. They were curled up in bed together, a rare night that Bucky wasn't at theirs or they weren't at his.

“Yeah we can. Indefinitely. Long as we keep kissing it'll be okay,” Peggy said, and tried to prove it.

Steve just laughed, and kissed her back, and tangled their bodies together the way they'd learned to do years ago. “ _Peggy._ ”

“ _Steve_ ,” she mimicked, and sighed. “You're right, damn you. We need to talk to him.”

“And to each other,” he said firmly. “Peggy, you're the love of my life. You know that, right?”

She groaned, and _thunk_ ed her forehead against his chest. “Damn me for saying that about our marriage. I know, love.” She looked up again, meeting his eyes even in the dim of the room, even when she knew he was only barely able to focus on her. “You make sure I know that every day.”

Steve rested his hand on her face, tracing her cheekbone with his thumb. “Good. You will _always_ be my heart. From that first date, I've been yours.”

She sighed, and leaned in to kiss him, long and sweet. “No one could ever replace you, Steve. No one could ever come close.”

“Bucky's not a replacement,” Steve agreed. “He's an addition. I have infinite love.”

That made Peggy smile. “I think I do too. I never thought...hell, I didn't even believe someone like _you_ could exist. That someone else could work their way into my life was beyond unthinkable.”

Steve kissed her, the movement sudden and tender. “Christ. You're so...you should have people falling at your feet every day.” He paused, and laughed. “Literally, apparently.”

Peggy giggled. “Technically he fell _on_ me, poor dab.”

“Thank you for bringing him home,” Steve said, pressing kisses along her cheek, tracing the lines of her face. “But this is about you, darling. And knowing that I love you beyond anything.”

“I know,” she said softly. “Just like you know you're my heart and my partner and you mean the world to me.”

“I know.” He smiled and rolled them over just for the pleasure of feeling Peggy's weight on him. “I love Bucky too, but I never missed anything when it was just us, okay?”

“I know,” she said, and snuggled down into his arms. “Honestly, Steve. I really am sorry I said that to you...”

“I'm not,” Steve said firmly. “We needed to talk about this someday. But as long as you know I wasn't lacking anything with you...”

“I _know,_ ” she said, and pinched him. “Steve. You and me. We're okay, right?”

“More than okay, I 'd hope,” he said, and started stroking her hair. “Peggy, how do you feel about Bucky?”

“I love him, of course,” she said, and fell silent, just thinking. “I don't want to say I love him the way I love you, because that makes no sense, you're two different people. But Steve...I miss him when we're apart, even just for a night. I'll be so glad when we move in together, because he'll be right here. I want him a part of my life, every day.”

“If I could marry him too, I think I might,” Steve said softly. “Someday.”

Peggy smiled against his chest, lips pressed to his breastbone, where that huge heart beat just a few centimeters away. “Someday,” she agreed. “I can't imagine him not being here.”

“You're amazing,” Steve said, and kissed her jaw. “My loving, beautiful girl. No wonder you've got two of us to adore you. One wouldn't be enough, for all you deserve.”

She laughed and gave him a little shove. “Jesus but you're dramatic. Could say the same about you,” she threatened.

“And about him. Christ, I think he's more protective of us, as a unit, than we are,” Steve mused.

“He asked me when our anniversary was the other day,” Peggy said. “Steve, we have to pretend we do something on our anniversary.”

“Yeah, but did you have to look the date up?” Steve teased.

“ _No_.” Peggy paused. “Maybe.”

“Oh my God, we are the most disappointing married couple of all time.”

Peggy laughed, and kissed him since she could. “It gets worse.”

“Our boyfriend cares about us so much it's embarrassing. How could it get worse?” Steve asked.

“It's his birthday.”

“Oh _fuck my life_ ,” Steve groaned. “He knows that's the part we'll actually care about, right?” He paused. “I mean, if you're okay with that.”

“No, Steve, for the first time in five years I want you to take me out to an overpriced restaurant and drink champagne with me,” Peggy said dryly. “Hell yes, that's what I care about. He's our Bucky.”

Steve smiled, and let his eyes slip closed as he kissed her, and one kiss turned into a dozen. “He's our Bucky. And you're our Peggy,” he murmured. “We good?”

“We're good.” She yawned, and turned over so Steve could be big spoon. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” he murmured into the back of her neck. “Sweet dreams.”

Peggy made an agreeing sort of sound, and then fell asleep in Steve's arms.

 

 

 

Bucky glared at the calendar. Then at his e-mail. Then at the calendar again. It was entirely too far into December. “Hey Peg?”

“Yeah?” she asked, a little distracted as she typed away at something.

“You guys doing anything for Christmas?”

“Sleeping in, mostly. Why? You want to do anything?”

“No, but I kinda _have_ to.” Bucky sighed, and started to type a reply to the e-mail from his mother. “My parents want me to head home for Christmas. Well, me and Becca.”

“That sounds nice,” Peggy said vaguely. “You definitely won't be missing anything here.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said slowly, and Peggy stopped typing.

“What is it?”

“I should tell them about...well, you and Steve. And me. I _want_ to tell them about us.” Bucky rubbed at his eyes. “I would like to not ruin Christmas by loving people, though.”

“Oh, Bucky.” Peggy got up and came over, resting her hands on his shoulders. “You really think they'll react badly?”

Bucky shrugged. “I don't know. They know I'm bi and Becca's gay,” he said. “And they're not exactly joining PFLAG, but they're...okay with it?” He sighed softly and leaned back in his chair. “And I want to tell them I'm genderqueer. Them and Becca, but I know she'll be fine with it.”

“She doesn't know?” Peggy said, surprised.

“Yeah, I know, it's like the only thing about me she doesn't,” Bucky admitted wryly. “I just...fuck. I'm sorry I'm such a coward about it.”

“Hey,” Peggy said sharply, and spun his chair around. “You are _not_ a coward, Bucky Barnes.”

“I kind of am, Peggy,” he said, smiling a little at her. “I made you tell Steve about it!”

“Being afraid isn't the same thing as being a coward,” Peggy said firmly. “You are not a coward. And you don't owe anyone anything.”

Bucky leaned forward to wrap his arms around her waist. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said, more gently now. “Darling, just out of curiosity, who _does_ know?”

“You and Steve,” he said. “Nat. I think Morita's guessed. Um. Some of my exes, since I was twenty. That was when I actually started dressing and acting the gender I felt,” he said softly.

Peggy stroked his hair, letting him rest his head on her stomach. “Thank you for telling us,” she said gently. “You know we've always got your back. And we love you, no matter how you present.” She smiled down at him. “I love you male, and enby, and whatever else you feel you are, Bucky.”

“Oh, Peg.” He hugged her tightly. “Thank you, sweet girl. I _really_ hope Christmas goes okay, though.”

 


	19. Chapter 19

“I'll be back on the 28th at the latest,” Bucky mumbled into Steve's shoulder, hugging him for all he was worth.

“I want pictures of the farm. I want pictures of you _on_ a farm,” Steve informed him, hugging back just as tightly. “I won't believe it otherwise.”

Bucky groaned. “I hate nature.” He kissed Steve one more time. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Another kiss, last one _honest_.

Okay, last one for Steve, because now he had to kiss Peggy goodbye for the holidays

“Have fun. And let us know how things go with your parents,” she said, brave and practical and very nonchalant about how she was not letting Bucky go anytime soon. He loved her like crazy, and told her so, and there were two, no three kisses, then promising them both that he and Becca would take their time and not drive for too long and wishing them a good Christmas and finally, _finally_ tearing himself away and walking to the subway.

Becca had firmly refused to come pick him up in Brooklyn, and Bucky supposed he didn't blame her. Although it might have guaranteed he'd actually show up for the drive back to Indiana, and nearly a _week_ away from New York (they would both start going through withdrawal three days in, he estimated) and Christmas. With their parents. Who Bucky was going to tell about his new relationship. And then he was going to come out to them, and to Becca, about being genderqueer.

There was an icy wind blowing through the city and Bucky huddled closer into his coat, enjoying the sharp bite contrasted with the warmth of the house he'd just left, the warmth of his own self. Hell, it was Christmas – time to be happy. Even if he did have to be happy in the fuck middle of nowhere, away from his beloveds. Maybe next year he and Becca could stay in the city. And he wouldn't have to be away from Steve and Peggy.

He grinned to himself, imagining next year, still with them, still in love. And maybe the year after, Christmas in England...

 

 

**To: sgrogers@endoftheline.com, mcarter@endoftheline.com**

**From:becca_is_awesome@gmail.com**

**Subject: That went about as well as the Suez Canal crisis**

 

Hey guys,

Bucky asked me to let you guys know how the big reveal about the three of you went. _That_ actually wasn't bad; Mom said something about how the New York Times had an article on polyamory and Dad just kind of grunted. I think they've given up on us. So, it wasn't awful, but then Bucky told us all that they were genderqueer and explained what that meant and how they'd sometimes dress and that...didn't go well. Mom cried, and that was the best of it.

We're gonna stick it out until Christmas morning, but then I think we'll head home. So you'll have at least one Barnes in your living room again for Boxing Day. Two if you want 'em. I'm not really happy with my parents right now.

I'm going for a walk with Bucky in a minute, and the cell reception here sucks like you wouldn't believe, so don't panic if neither of us pick up or anything. Bucky's not great, but I think they knew this wouldn't go so well. I promise I'll take care of them for you guys.

Hope your Christmas is going better,

Becca

PS I assume I don't need to add that Bucky is my sibling and I support them one hundred million percent and I will deck the fuck out of anyone who looks at them sideways, right? Right.

 

**To: becca_is_awesome@gmail.com, jbbarnes@wsoldier.com**

**From: mcarter@endoftheline.com**

**Subject: Re: That went about as well as the Suez Canal crisis**

 

Bucky – We both love you so much. I'm so proud of you. Steve's kind of hyperventilating right now, but I think that means he's proud too.

Becca – you utter gem. I want two Barneses in my living room by the end of the day on the 26th, or I'll walk to Indiana myself and grab you both up. Take care of our Bucky, but take care of yourself too, okay? Keep us updated.

xx Peggy

 

**To: becca_is_awesome@gmail.com**

**From: mcarter@endoftheline.com**

**Subject: I have an idea**

 

I have a brilliant plan but I need your help. 1. what is bucky's favorite christmas cooky? (and yours, please) 2. what are you guys' favorite christmas films? 3. LIQUOR OF CHOICE. You name it, it's yours. You deserve it. The biggest bottle I can find.

PS reveal none of this to bucky.

 

**To: mcarter@endoftheline.com**

**From: becca_is_awesome@gmail.com**

**Subject: Re: I have an idea**

 

Bucky's currently sleeping off their shitty day, so I am all about your sekrit plans. 1. Russian teacakes (and sugar cookies for me) 2. Now and forever: Muppet Christmas Carol 3. I should be polite and tell you don't you dare but Peggy, I'm fucking exhausted and furious at our parents and I hate being stuck here while we pretend Christmas will be okay. Gin, please. I trust you to find a good brand.

Thanks. Bucky is okay, but they'll need you two, more than they'll ever admit to.

 

**To: jbbarnes@wsoldier.com**

**From: mcarter@endoftheline.com**

**Subject: Becca is invited too**

 

When she drops you off. Make sure she stays, okay? And make sure she knows that she's ALWAYS welcome here, no matter what.

How you holding up, kid? I love you. Steve loves you. Brooklyn loves you. All of us miss you, my Bucky.

 

**To: mcarter@endoftheline.com**

**From: jbbarnes@wsoldier.com**

**Subject: Re: Becca is invited too**

 

Pretty Peggy-O,

I'll make sure she knows. Girl deserves a good Christmas, you know?

I'm holding up okay. I'm wearing my hair up, but no one really knows what that means, so it's ok. I don't feel great in my body right now, but it could be worse.

I love you. I love Steve. I miss you both, and Brooklyn too.

xo,

your Bucky

 

**To: sgrogers@endoftheline.com, mcarter@endoftheline.com**

**From:becca_is_awesome@gmail.com**

**Subject: Re: That went about as well as the Suez Canal crisis**

 

Hey guys,

Thanks for the support, we kind need it here in the heartland of fuckmylifeistan. Our walk yesterday was even kinda nice (I have pictures of Bucky standing next to nature will send them when I get them off my phone) and we are currently hanging out in my old bedroom drinking spiked eggnog. Bucky is wearing reindeer antlers and singing along to the Cure so, you know, it's like that last decade never happened.

We're okay, and fuck the haters. Be good to see you guys and New York ASAP tho.

xoxo Becca

 

**To: becca_is_awesome@gmail.com, jbbarnes@wsoldier.com, mcarter@endoftheline.com**

**From: sgrogers@endoftheline.com**

**Subject: this isn't fair**

 

Tell Bucky Christmas isn't Christmas without them :(

 

**To: becca_is_awesome@gmail.com, jbbarnes@wsoldier.com, sgrogers@endoftheline.com**

**From: mcarter@endoftheline.com**

**Subject: Re: this isn't fair**

 

Tell Bucky I THREW UP IN MY MOUTH FOR ALL OF US. Oh my god what did I marry.

 

**To: mcarter@endoftheline.com, jbbarnes@wsoldier.com, sgrogers@endoftheline.com**

**From: becca_is_awesome@gmail.com**

**Subject: Re: this isn't fair**

 

YOU SPEAK FOR US ALL PEGGY

oh wait I just read that e-mail to Bucky and they look all sappy and big-eyed and fml more eggnog.

Peggy help.

\- Becca

 

**To: becca_is_awesome@gmail.com, jbbarnes@wsoldier.com, mcarter@endoftheline.com**

**From: sgrogers@endoftheline.com**

**Subject: this isn't fair**

 

By the way, fuck the haters is right. I wrote a whole e-mail out to your parents but gmail ate it and just...fuck the haters. I am so angry on your behalf, both of you. If Mom was alive still, she'd adopt you immediately. Fuck anyone who can't see how amazing you are, Bucky. They don't deserve you.

(Fuck, I don't deserve you, but that's an argument for another day.)

xo,

Steve

 

 

**Bucky:** CELL RECEPTION! Okay, we're spending the night in fuck middle of nowhere PA, but I can text again!

**Bucky:** PS I love you guys. Your e-mails kept me going. That was the shittiest Christmas ever. And Becca got into a fight with our parents right before we left today :( She says she regrets nothing, but I think she will.

**Bucky:** why am I the cause of so much suck in my family?

**Steve:** Don't you dare think that.

Don't you dare, Bucky.

You're the best. You're a gift and a gem and the hell with anyone who doesn't see that.

none of this is because of you. NONE OF IT.

**Bucky:** thanks stevie. sorry for the pity party.

I'm a pain in the ass of a kid to have tho

**Peggy:** bite your tongue.

if my kid was one-tenth as gentle and good and wise as you are I'd be proud as fuck

**Bucky:** and when your kid get cancer and almost dies and then is a giant fucking weirdo?

**Peggy:** I love them with all my heart and more. that's what having a child means!

oh honey

you'll be home in a few hours

and we'll take care of you. can't wait to see you again.

**Bucky:** can't wait to see you too. sorry i'm so low. hope you're having a good christmas at least?

**Peggy:** Crimbo is on hold until  you and Becca get here. It's okay to be low. Please be kind to yourself though?

**Steve** : what peggy said. love you so much, wish you could know how amazing you are

**Bucky:** I'm starting to get an idea :) I love you both too. It's been the worst day, going to bed now. Things will look better in the morning.

**Peggy:** Damn straight they will. Sweet dreams, darling.

**Steve:** I might not let  go of you for several days, just to forewarn you. Sleep sweet, honey.

 

 

“Becca, c'mon, Peggy said specifically that you had to come too,” Bucky said, letting them in the back door of Peggy and Steve's building, and up the back stairs. “Guys? You in?”

“Happy Christmas!” Peggy appeared in the door at the top of the stairs, already reaching out and Bucky ran the last few steps, right into her arms. “Hello, you.”

“Hi, beautiful girl,” they said, hugging back tightly. “Fuck. Fuck, it's so good to see you again.”

“Welcome home,” Peggy murmured, and then finally let them go to pull Becca into a hug too. “Hey, you must be wrecked from driving, c'mon in.”

“Uh. Yeah. Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Peggy said firmly, and she pulled them both into the apartment. Every light was blazing, and Christmas music was playing softly. There was even a tree in the corner.

“Holy shit,” Bucky said.

“Erk,” said Steve, who had frozen a little in place upon first seeing Bucky. “Uh. I mean. You look amazing.”

Bucky grinned at him, and brushed their hair behind one ear. There had been an emergency stop at CVS the night before to pick up supplies, and now Bucky's hair curled in soft waves around their face, pulled back with barrettes covered in tiny pearls. They had done their makeup to the nines and wore a dark velvet choker and pearl-drop earrings. Dark jeans and a dark button-down finished the outfit; the best Bucky had to work with. “Had to look a little festive.”

“You look _beautiful_ ,” Steve said fervently, and seemed to finally remember how to move, crossing the room to pull Bucky into his arms, kissing them tenderly.

“Hey,” Bucky murmured, wrapping their arms around Steve's neck. “Sorry I melted down on you last night.”

“Honey, you don't have to apologize for that,” Steve said, resting his chin on Bucky's shoulder. “How you doing?”

“Much better,” Bucky assured him, and hugged him tight. “Immensely better as of a few moments ago, actually.”

“Love you,” Steve said quietly. “I wasn't kidding about not letting go of you.”

“I'm okay with that.” Bucky did finally pull away though, to let Steve hug Becca hello and wish her a merry Christmas. And then pull Bucky down onto the sofa with him, holding them close again.

Bucky went happily, closing their eyes for just a moment so that they could feel Steve's body-warmth, the way his wide hand rubbed Bucky's back slow and easy. The whole apartment smelled like cookies and peppermint and Peggy was talking a mile a minute with Becca about the drive, about what they'd have for dinner, a _real_ Christmas dinner a proper one not like you weird Yanks and Becca was laughing her head off at something and everything was, for that moment, utterly perfect.

“Hey you,” Steve murmured, and Bucky opened their eyes and smiled at him.

“I'm good,” they said. “Steve, I'm so happy.”

“Me too,” Steve murmured, pressing his lips against Bucky's temple. “I'm so glad you're here.”

“I'm home,” Bucky said, very softly. “I'm home, here.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “You are. We're gonna give you a good Christmas. Family and people who love you and everything.”

Bucky laughed softly, and rested their hand on Steve's cheek. “You okay?” they asked. “I'm sorry your Mom can't be here, too.”

Steve touched their foreheads together. “I'm okay,” he said. “I miss her, though.”

“I know,” Bucky murmured, so close they were sharing the same breaths. “I'm so sorry, love. I wish I could've met her.”

Steve smiled sadly. “I wish you could've too. She would have _loved_ you.”

Bucky giggled softly. “Well, yeah, I put up with you,” they teased, and kissed Steve to take away any sting. “Did you and her do anything special for Christmas, when you were growing up?”

“Nothing really unusual,” Steve said, eyes closing as he remembered. “Tree, presents, church. She had a pickle ornament that she'd hide, and I'd have to find it every year. We'd challenge each other, describe an ornament and see how long it took the other to find it.” He grinned. “That got easier after I got good glasses.”

Bucky laughed, and ruffled Steve's hair. “We'll have to play. Peggy can pick an ornament out and we'll race each other to find it.” He hesitated. “If you want to, I mean.”

Steve's smile was something to behold. “I'd like that,” he said shyly. “I really...Bucky, I miss her so much. Remembering her through a game...that'd be amazing.”

“Tomorrow, then. You, me. Winner gets massage of their choice,” Bucky teased, and Steve kissed them. “Got to remind my darling that I'm here for him too and all.”

“I've got people I love around me,” Steve said. “I'm good.”

“Good.” Bucky snuggled back into Steve's arms, and let Christmas finally fully begin.

Bucky actually yelled with joy when Peggy produced a plate of Russian teacakes (Becca was already happily downing sugar cookies), and almost cried when Steve gave them a bag of high-end make-up for their gift. (“Steve, this is way too nice for me.” “I am going to pretend I didn't hear that.” “Steve, I love you.” “Look at that! Hearing aid is magically working again.”) Peggy gave them some books and a warm scarf, and Bucky made the two of them promise to go over to their place the next day, to get _their_ presents. They all sat down to dinner and then watched Muppet Christmas Carol, Becca and Bucky harmonizing perfectly with every single song, much to Steve's delight.

After Becca swore up, down and sideways that she was fine to drive back to Queens and didn't need to crash on their sofa, Steve and Peggy permitted her to leave, gifts from them and a still nearly-full bottle of gin and a plate of cookies in hand.

“We shoulda done this from the start,” Becca said, still looking a little stunned, as Bucky hugged her goodbye.

“Next year,” they promised.

“Next year,” Becca agreed, and left. Bucky stayed in the doorway until she was safely away, then turned and retreated gratefully back into the warm apartment. Peggy was tidying the food away, and gave them a look of death when they made a move towards helping.

“I'll just, um, hang out in the living room with Steve?” Bucky guessed.

“You will,” Peggy said primly.

“And not lift a finger even though you guys clearly pulled out all the stops and put in way, way more effort than was needed?” they continued.

“You will indeed not be lifting so much as a finger,” Peggy said, slipping past them to retrieve an empty plate. She moved gracefully, _flawlessly_. Bucky caught her waist and kissed her, just a quick one, just a little reminder. “Love you,” they said, because it had been way too long since they'd told her so. Like, an hour, at least.

“Love you too,” she said, wrapping her arms around their shoulders and pressing close for a moment. “I'm so glad you're home for Christmas.”

“Me too,” they said, holding Peggy tight. “Thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for loving me.”

“No thanking needed for that,” she chided, and kissed them softly. “Go let Steve love on you a little more. I'll be right in.”

Bucky nodded, and retreated to the living room, laughing at the way Steve was sprawled on the sofa. “Wanna just go to bed?”

“Not just yet. I want to stay here where the tree is,” Steve said, and held his arms open. “C'mere beautiful?”

“Beautiful's in the kitchen, but okay,” Bucky joked, managing to squish onto lying on the sofa beside Steve.

“You're beautiful too,” Steve scolded gently, running his fingers through Bucky's hair. “God. You're _really_ beautiful, Bucky.”

Bucky shrugged and smiled, to embarrassed to say anything more.

“Can I tell you how much I love you?” Steve asked softly, and smiled at Bucky's hesitant nod. “Good, 'cause I do. You could've knocked me over with a feather when you walked in today, gorgeous. I've never seen anyone who looked like you,” he continued, voice low and even. “This amazing blend of male and female, I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I can't believe you love me, sometimes.”

Bucky head-butted him.

“Hey, I know! I know. I think you're crazy too,” Steve teased, and laughed when Bucky growled at him. “I love you so much. And the fact that you love me, that you care about me...that you trust me enough to show me all of you,” he said. “All those things are amazing to me. _You're_ amazing, with those big blue eyes and the way you make yourself beautiful and handsome all at once, the way you balance gender. You're so special, and I need you to _know_ that.”

Bucky was so far beyond words, but Steve seemed to understand, just held them tight when they pressed kisses into Steve's neck, his face, down the roses on his throat, saying thank you and I love you and thank you again.

Peggy joined them both then, kneeling by the sofa and running her fingers through Bucky's hair, kissing Steve, then them, happily going back and forth between them until she was yawning hard enough to crack her jaw.

And then it was Steve's turn to chase Bucky away from doing anything, taking care of lights and the last bits of cleaning up the living room needed while Peggy and Bucky went to the bedroom.

They helped each other undress, more for expediency than any real romance, and crawled into bed naked, pressing together under the big quilt.

Bucky settled their head on Peggy's shoulder, hand on her hip, and she wrapped her arms around their shoulders, idly running her fingertips along the scar on Bucky's left shoulder.

“I love that you do that,” they said, already half-asleep.

“Hmmm?” Peggy was more like three-quarters asleep. Emergency Christmases took work, it turned out.

“Touch me there. You're not afraid of it, or even afraid of offending me...”

“Mmmm. Nope.” Peggy yawned, and giggled. “Bucky, it's just you. I know it doesn't hurt you and...it's not the same as, say, touching your back,” she continued thoughtfully. “It's more powerful than that. But at the end of the day...'s'you. 'n I love you.”

Bucky turned their head to kiss her shoulder, nuzzling the soft skin, the beautiful stars that danced there. “Love you too.”

They were both asleep when Steve came in, wrapped around each other, but with room very obviously left for him on Bucky's other side.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO IT IS I, THE ACTUAL WORST.
> 
> So the last two weeks have been absolutely insane, logistically, which is why I am terrible and haven't replied to anyone's comments. I'll be doing that this afternoon, I promise -- they mean SO MUCH to me, you guys. 
> 
> Posting-wise, I think I'll be staying with one chapter per week. Part of the crazy stress life I've had has meant that I haven't had any writing time (and when I did, I was too exhausted to do...anything). Right now I've got one chapter beyond this actually written. I am *hoping* to write more ahead, but there might be a few days' delay in a week or two. I have the rest of the story plotted out (and actually have the last chapter entirely written), so fear not, I am not abandoning you at the finish. Hopefully you'll understand why this last chunk of story is taking awhile, once it's actually live.
> 
> That said, I have a fair amount that I've written, but that doesn't fit into this story (or occurs after the story), so I'm probably going to start a companion story-compilation-I don't even know to post that, and the little ficlets I occasionally write.

“What about this one?” Bucky asked, scrolling down. “Two bedrooms, a big living room, kitchen's okay. The bathroom's a little small, but we'll live.”

“Ehhh.” Peggy chewed her lip, and reached around Bucky to click back. “I'd expect better for what they're charging. How about this one?”

“It's kind of a long ways from the shop,” Bucky pointed out. “As the people with an actual commute, are you okay with that?”

“I am, Steve will not be. So no.” Peggy sighed, and rested her head on Bucky's shoulder. “I wish our place were bigger.”

“Me too, love.” Bucky kissed the top of her head. “It'll be weird having other people living there.”

“Mmm. Least it'll be friends,” Peggy said, scrolling down the list. “Oooh. This looks good.”

Bucky made a happy noise, clicking through the pictures. “Oh my God, this is ridiculous. That bathroom is the size of half my apartment.”

“Look at the tub,” Peggy breathed. There was a moulded part that reclined, and plenty of room otherwise. She could just picture Bucky lying there, coming down in the warm water with her and Steve both able to touch him, soothe him back to himself. 

Hell, they could have a group bath every night. It was obscene.

“Was this seized from Pablo Escobar's holdings or something?” Bucky wondered aloud, pulling up the floorplan. All right, so it was only one bedroom, but they could put an office in a corner of the living room, and the kitchen was gorgeous. And – miracle of miracles – there was enough room in the bedroom for the California King Peggy had insisted they buy (“I am not spending every night being smothered by one or both of you.”), and the closet ran along one whole wall.

“There must be something seriously wrong with it,” Bucky decided. “Like it's next to the mouth of hell or something.”

“Well, we can tour it, and find out that it's haunted or something then,” Peggy said, adding it to their list. Steve would happily live in a cardboard box, so Bucky and Peggy had taken charge of apartment hunting after his single disastrous attempt.

 

“Daylight is underrated,” Bucky said. 

It turned out that the apartment faced onto a back alley and, at best, might get a few hours of indirect sunlight a day. In the height of summer.

“I want to marry the bathroom,” Peggy said, completely seriously.

Steve shrugged. “It's like two minutes from where we live now and I didn't see any roaches. I'm good.”

Bucky grinned at them. “You guys, we have an apartment.”

Peggy laughed and launched herself at him, knowing he'd catch her easily. “We do,” she said smugly. “All three of us.”

“Now I have two people to blame the dirty dishes on,” Steve teased, his hand on the small of Bucky's back. 

“Oh, you wish.” Bucky smiled shyly and pulled up his phone, poised to call the realtor. “Last chance to back out, guys.”

“Never,” Peggy said.

“Not a chance,” Steve agreed. 

Bucky just smiled at them and held onto Peggy a little tighter while he called to say that they'd take the place.

 

“That's done then,” Peggy said, helping Bucky adjust his quilt. They'd gotten a duvet that fit the bed, but decided to pile their quilts over it against the February chill – Peggy and Steve's on one side of the bed, and Bucky's on the other, overlapping in the middle. 

Bucky was already working out how he could start under Steve and Peggy's quilt – call him stupidly romantic but they'd loved him for the first time under it, and it held the best memories for him – and work his way to the warm middle.

“At least we've got this bit done,” he said, looking around at the stacks of boxes and suitcases. Two dressers against one wall and the bed meant not very much room for anything but, hell. They'd have all day to unpack, and they were home. All three of them.

Bucky grinned at Peggy, who started giggling from the pure joy of it, and they both took flying leaps at the bed, piling spreadeagled on top of each other.

“Wheee!” Peggy laughed and rolled over into Bucky's arms, kissing him warmly.

“Mmm. I get to wake up with you tomorrow,” Bucky said happily. “Steve can go out and run or whatever the hell he thinks is fun, and I'll wrap my arms around my best girl, and we can go back to sleep.”

“You promise me the best things,” Peggy said, and Bucky pulled her close for another kiss.

“We have so much stuff,” Steve said, wandering in and sounding a little dazed. “How do three people have so much stuff?”

Bucky laughed into Peggy's mouth, and they looked up at Steve, who simply looked bewildered.

“Awww, did you start unpacking?” Bucky cooed, holding out a hand to Steve.

“Uh huh,” he said, pouting a little.

“And where are your grand plans to christen the bed now?” Peggy asked sweetly. As the person there who had actually moved across a major body of water, she had no sympathy.

“We will all live, at best guess, somewhere between fifty and sixty more years each,” Steve said. “At some point in those five or six decades, I will possibly have enough energy again to think about having sex.” And he lay, very gently, face-down on the bed.

“Oh my God, you drama queen,” Bucky said, and he poked Steve in the side for good measure.

“Ow.” Steve informed the quilt. He'd fallen on Bucky's, of course.

“C'mon. I packed us something to wear to bed,” Peggy said, visibly tearing herself out of Bucky's embrace. She retrieved the bag and distributed pajama pants and t-shirts amongst them.

“These are all mine,” Steve pointed out, noticing that everything was just a little too big on Bucky, and a lot too big on Peggy. 

“Well, yeah. It's lot easier to just target the biggest guy,” Peggy said, rolling up the cuffs of her pants. They were blue flannel with white stars, and she practically swam in them.

“Peggy, you are unspeakably adorable,” Bucky informed her.

“Bucky, so are you,” she assured him with great dignity and, indeed, Bucky did look soft and sleepy in flannel pants and a henley, one sleeve empty and the other extending almost to his fingertips. Steve liked his shirts long.

“I am never going to be able to call my clothes my own again, am I?” Steve asked the universe.

“Nope,” Bucky said cheerfully, and crawled in beside Steve. He was very close to claiming the middle of the bed. “Sorry.”

“No, you're not.” Steve grinned, and wrapped his arm around Bucky's shoulders, pulling him close. “Hey. Welcome home.”

“Welcome home,” Bucky said softly, and leaned in to kiss Steve, while Peggy made gagging noises.

“Ignore her,” Steve murmured. “You're home, baby.”

Always been home with you, Bucky thought but didn't say, because some things would just sound ridiculous when put into the world, but he wrapped his arm around Steve and snuggled just a little closer.

“Losers.” And then Peggy was at his back, arms slipping around his waist and her head on his shoulder, and he gave a little wiggle.

“Welcome home, Peg,” he said, and she hugged him so tightly he couldn't breathe for a moment.

They made their way under the covers finally (Steve claimed the middle, but Bucky got the majority of Steve and Peggy's old quilt, all faded blue and red calico, and he wrapped it around himself perfectly happily), and fell asleep quickly after the long day.

Bucky was vaguely aware when Steve got up the next morning and kissed each of them, whispering something about running. Fine, weirdo. He reached out and found Peggy, the two of them curling up together in the middle, Bucky as big spoon.

“Heh,” Peggy mumbled. “Not like your arm'll go numb under me.”

“Number one advantage of being an amputee,” Bucky murmured into her hair, and they drifted off again.

 

Steve let himself into the bedroom, walking as quietly as he could. He'd changed back into the soft pajamas after his shower. It was his day off, and anyway, he didn't want to bother searching through boxes and bags. Unpacking could come later.

He stood by the bed, and just watched for a moment. The two people he loved best in the world were curled up together, fast asleep. Bucky had his arm around Peggy's waist, his face pressed into the back of her shoulder, and she was scrunched up, their legs fitting together. They fit together, and Steve smiled to see it. They were gorgeous, sleep-mussed and soft-faced, and so clearly loved each other.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed carefully, not wanting to disturb either of them, but Peggy's eyes opened and she smiled up at him, utterly blissful.

“Hey,” she mouthed, and Steve leaned over to kiss her awake a little more. 

“Hey,” he murmured, almost too softly to hear, and kissed her a few more times, just to make sure. Of what, he would decide later.

Peggy giggled a little into his mouth, and gently pulled away from Bucky to sit up. 

“Let's wake him up together,” she mumbled, going into Steve's arms easily.

“Oh. Now you think my plan to christen the bed is a good one,” he teased.

Peggy nodded, and squirmed so she could give him a long, only slightly sloppy, kiss. “Now I'm not bloody exhausted.”

Steve laughed and pulled her a little closer. Peggy still sleep-heavy and warm, a little silly and beautiful – that was one of the great treats of his life. She rested against him and he felt no shame whatsoever in taking a few minutes to cuddle her close, kiss her and remind her how she was loved.

Still fast asleep, Bucky rolled over and made a sad, anxious little noise.

“Oh, no, no,” Steve scolded gently, and he and Peggy spilled over, landing either side of him. “Shh, you're okay,” Steve murmured, pulling Bucky into his arms. He went easily, sighing once he'd settled.

“Silly boy,” Peggy murmured, kissing the back of Bucky's neck. “We're always here now.”

This, at least, seemed to finally wake him up. “Unh? Oh. Oh.” Bucky giggled, and hid his face in Steve's chest. “Good morning to me.”

Peggy laughed at that, wriggling her arms around him and tickling his stomach. “Uh huh. Everything okay, love?”

“Of course. Why wouldn't it be?” Bucky asked, stretching lazily and tilting his head back for a kiss from Steve.

“You were making unhappy noises before we woke you up,” Peggy explained, and turned his head so she could kiss him. “Bad dream?”

“Just missed you in my sleep,” Bucky teased, and laughed when she gave him a pinch. “I deserved that. Good run, Steve?”

“Yup. Better coming home, though,” he said, nuzzling under Bucky's chin. “Peggy thinks it's time to christen the bed.”

“Peggy's right,” Bucky sighed, arching his back. “Oh. I get you every day now.”

Steve hummed his agreement, nosing a little at the collar of Bucky's shirt – well, his shirt, but it had never seemed this soft on him, had definitely never looked this good; just a little too loose, a little too long, and smelling like Bucky. It had been bitter winter weather outside, and in here...was everything the opposite of that.

“C'mere,” Bucky murmured, lying back against the pillows and drawing Steve down on top of him. “We have all day off. I want to take my time.”

“You know, we have the whole day off to unpack,” Peggy pointed out.

“And?”

“And instead we're going to have the sex equivalent of a cricket match, lasting longer than anyone ever thought possible and with breaks for meals,” she said. “No getting rained out, though.” This added with a glance to their gloomy view; darker even than usual as rain threatened.

Steve laughed and leaned over to kiss her, and not incidentally roll his hips into Bucky's. “Peggy is in charge of making puns about overs and sticky wickets,” he decided, and got a swat for his troubles.

“You're both terrible,” Bucky supplied, tugging Steve back for a deep kiss.

“And you're both gorgeous,” Peggy murmured, lying on her side and just watching them. Bucky bent his legs so that Steve rested between his knees, encouraged him to rest his whole weight on Bucky as they kissed, tasting each other over and over.

They only slowed when Bucky yawned in Steve's face, setting them both off laughing, and Peggy swatted him.

“Right, I'll go make coffee then, shall I?” she said, and Bucky gave her his best doe-eyed look. “You know, someday that's not going to work on me.”

“Uh huh. When you're about ninety-eight and I'm long-dead...”

“Shut up,” she said, and flushed. “Don't joke about that today.”

“Oh, honey.” Bucky held out his arm and she pressed close to her men, letting them kiss her. “I'm sorry, that was tone-deaf.”

“No, it was funny,” she said. “I just...not today. Not when...when I was growing up, I was so sure I would live alone, die alone, and now...”

“Now you'll never have five minutes of peace without someone giving you a cuddle and telling you that you're loved,” Steve said, and Bucky promptly kissed her and told her he loved her.

Peggy laughed and wriggled away. “Coffee. Right. Lazy boys.”

“Yeah, and?” they said in chorus.

“She honestly thought no one would want her?” Bucky asked Steve very softly, turning around so they could share a pillow while they talked.

“I know, it's insane, right?” Steve shook his head. “She didn't believe me, the first time I asked her on a date.” Steve smiled a little. “Possibly because I was terrified and could barely string a sentence together. But Peggy just kept...not believing me.”

“For fuck's sake,” Bucky swore softly, and kissed Steve, sudden and hard. “I'm so glad she found you.”

“And you,” Steve said. 

Bucky just smiled, and kissed the tip of Steve's nose. “Don't go anywhere, I just want to put my arm on.”

Steve rolled onto his back lazily, stretching out – still feeling that nice, after-running ache – and watched Bucky shrug his shirt off and slip on the prosthetic, doing up the straps and running all the joints, through quick range-of-motion checks. He'd seen Bucky do it before, of course, and both he and Peggy had learned how to take his prosthetic on and off if need be. They had even met Bucky's physiotherapist to learn what they could do to help with the pain of feedback and muscle cramps. But this, being a part of something Bucky did nearly every morning of his life...this was intimacy.

Peggy came back in with mugs of coffee for all of them, handing Steve his and putting Bucky's on the dresser. “Oooh, hang on,” she said, stopping him with a hand on his side. “You've got a twist in the back, love.” She smoothed out one of the straps holding Bucky's arm on, and slipped her arms around him to quickly unhook and re-hook the strap. 

Bucky stilled, then leaned back a little to kiss Peggy in thanks. 

Peggy simply smiled at him, and joined Steve on the bed, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck while he took the morning round of medication. Bucky put his shirt back on and sat cross-legged at the foot of the bed, all three still quiet in their morning rituals.

It was like music, like dance, like the most natural thing to finish coffee and reach for one another, Bucky wrapping his arms so gently around Peggy that she gave him a dirty look and he laughed and hugged her a little tighter, and started to kiss his way down her body, undressing her as he went. Steve was right behind him, lingering where he knew he could make her breath hitch, so that he was still somewhere around her stomach when Bucky tenderly kissed her instep, first one foot, then the other.

“Don't you dare kiss my feet,” Peggy rasped, and Bucky crawled back up, balancing on one hand so that the other could rest on Steve's back. “Be my equal, that's all I ever want.”

“I will work my ass off every day to be your equal,” Bucky promised, groaning a little when she worked her thigh between his legs, giving him something to press against. “Oh, Peggy.”

“I turned the heat up when I was in the kitchen,” Steve said helpfully, running his hand under Bucky's shirt and rucking it up a little.

“Good man,” Bucky praised, going up onto his knees to pull his shirt off. Steve turned his wrist and stroked down, caressing Bucky's waist, his stomach, finally stopping between his legs where he could feel Bucky growing hard. He stroked his lover, slow and easy, just once through the soft, worn flannel.

“Oh,” Bucky sighed, hips twitching. “Oh, loves.”

Everything was lazy and slow; they had all day. (Hell, they...yeah, they probably had the rest of their lives, Steve guessed, and didn't care if that was the high from being in love talking.) Peggy finished undressing Bucky, kissing him all the while. And running her cheek down his metal arm, making sure he could see, which made him whimper and reach for her. “It's you, of course,” she said, and Steve laid kisses across Bucky's shoulders, not ignoring the join between flesh and metal, while Bucky held her tightly, pressing openmouthed kisses to her neck.

They turned to Steve, then, and soon had him bared, both their hands caressing as they went, Bucky giving his calves a little massage while Peggy straddled his stomach, dipping low so they could kiss if she curled over, and so he could mouth at her breasts if she didn't. There was no rush, none at all. Just Bucky reaching over to finger Peggy when he was done with Steve, making her gasp and sigh. No real goal, other than pleasure, the lazy rub of fingers over her vulva and Peggy moaning softly when Steve kissed her breasts, his fingers joining Bucky's.

They lay together and talked. Peggy asked for more ink, and Steve pulled out his markers, sketching out a cascade of ivy and stars on her right thigh while she lay against Bucky, head pillowed on his chest. And then it was Bucky's turn, to lie on his belly while Steve worked a design across his right shoulder and Peggy gave him a foot-rub. It wasn't Steve's usual style, not old-school at all but geometric, tessellated leaves. “It's me,” Bucky said, and smiled. “Part natural, part not. And I don't just mean the arm, so don't look at me like that. I was a farm kid growing up – sort of, you know I hate nature – and now you can't pry me out of the city. It's all the parts of me.”

Steve smiled, and kissed his work. “I'll put it on for real whenever you want, darling.”

Bucky rolled over and reached for Steve, who capped the marker and went happily to him, kissing, groping him casually. Bucky wrapped his metal hand around Steve's cock and stroked him until he was writhing, tiny movements while Peggy kissed him until she unapologetically shoved Bucky's hand away and swung a leg over to straddle Steve, sinking down on him agonizingly slowly.

Steve whimpered and was careful not to move his hips, wanting the slow sensation, the way it felt for this amazing woman to let him into her. He bit his lip and held on while she settled on his hips, sighing in relief. God, she felt so good, his Peggy, his love, she felt so good.

“Oh,” Bucky said, soft and in awe and they were all three drawing together, slow and easy and Steve couldn't think beyond pleasure, Bucky's mouth on his body and Peggy warm and good and an orgasm like a long, long kiss that took him out of himself, away from a body that still hurt too much and mind that was far too busy. Everything was his lovers and gentle touch and the slow flow of pleasure.

He blinked awake and let Bucky lift him up to sip from a water bottle, before giving a little wriggle. “'m fine.”

“Sure you are,” Bucky teased, and pinched his belly. “That's why you looked so blissed-out and couldn't focus on anything.”

“That was not my fault,” Steve said.

“Exactly. It was mine,” Peggy bragged, stretching out luxuriously at his side.

Bucky grinned at both of them, and leaned over to kiss first one, then the other. “Sweethearts. You guys cuddle in here and I'll go make lunch, okay?” 

“You sure?” Peggy mumbled a little. “Do we even have food?”

“A few basics,” Bucky confirmed. “And I'm sure. Let me do this for you?”

“Not gonna argue,” Steve said, pulling Peggy close and kissing her. “Love you, Bucky.”

“Love you too,” Bucky promised, and kissed them both on their foreheads. “You're so good,” he blurted out suddenly. “No one ever...you opened your marriage and your lives and your everything to me. You changed so much for me, so quickly. You're so good, both of you, and I don't tell you nearly enough how much it means to me.”

“Bucky...” Peggy sat up and reached out, her hand resting on his jaw. “You make it sound like a sacrifice on our part, like we lost anything. All we did was gain you. There's no hardship there. You make me happy, and you make Steve happy, okay?”

“I know,” Bucky protested. “I know I make you happy. But you would have been happy without me, too, and just...”

“So what?” Steve said suddenly. “Yes, we would have had a fine life. But now we have a better one. Yes, it took work to open up our lives, but Jesus Christ, Bucky, you're a helluva reward.” He thought a moment, then shook his head. “No, not a reward. You're a person I love, and you make me better because of it. So does Peggy. There's no thanks needed, there. Just I love you, and know you fit into our lives, okay?”

Bucky blinked hard, and nodded. “You're still so good,” he said, voice gravelly with emotion.

Steve just smiled and shrugged; any reply he could give was too big for words. He sat up and rubbed Bucky's shoulder until he leaned over to kiss them both, and go make a light lunch.

“We are going to have to reassure that man regularly,” Peggy mused, going into Steve's arms.

“Whether he needs it or not?” Steve asked, and grinned at the look she gave him. “I'm so glad I hitched myself to you for life.”

“Oh, stop being mushy and just hold me,” she grumbled, squirming a little closer. “We just had a round of magnificent sex, and there's another round after lunch. Just enjoy yourself.”

“I am,” he assured her. “Believe me I am.”

 

After lunch, they actually did unpack a little – Peggy decided that the rules of cricket were extensive enough to allow for a break to feel adult and responsible. They managed about half the kitchen before giving up and going back to bed.

“Not that I'm complaining, but we've got a lot of surfaces,” Peggy said, lolling across the bed as Bucky kissed a path across her tummy.

“And I don't want to chance back spasms today of all days,” Steve said from where he'd been nuzzling behind Bucky's knee.

“I don't want to chance fucking my shoulder up either,” Bucky admitted. “Sorry, baby.”

“Don't you dare be,” she said, and yanked on his hair a little. “I am extremely proud of you both for taking care of yourselves, and that's not even a joke.”

Steve blushed, and his his face in Bucky's thigh. “I'm trying,” he mumbled.

“And you're amazing,” Bucky assured him, reaching down to ruffle his hair. “Goddamn, Steve,” he swore softly. “You're driving me crazy, how are you even doing that?”

“Natural charm?” Steve suggested, and smirked up at Bucky, who rolled his eyes. Right up until when Steve rolled him onto his back and started kissing his cock, far-too-light sensations that left Bucky feeling restless and aching.

“Ooooh, I want to play,” Peggy said, squirming down to lie beside Steve and press a kiss to the star on Bucky's hip. “Hello,” she murmured, and leaned over, mouth open, to circle the very tip of her tongue around the head of Bucky's cock.

“Oh my God, fuck you both,” Bucky swore, burying his hand in her hair. It wasn't enough, it wasn't nearly enough, these soft little touches from the assholes he called lovers. “Oh, fuck, fuck,” he moaned when Steve, clearly inspired, licked a thin stripe up the underside of his cock.

“I'll fuck you in a minute,” Peggy informed him, and was rewarded by the most beautiful moan Bucky was sure he'd ever produced.

Steve cupped his balls in one hand, just to be annoying, and continued to tease, nuzzling at the root of Bucky's cock, licking and kissing where he pleased.

Bucky tried not to move his hips, tried to be good and still and give voice to how he felt while they teased him until he was hard and aching, his cock curved up, the tip already wet. His skin was on fire, two bodies lying across his legs and holding him down, and then Peggy took his cock in her mouth, lips lush and perfect as she worked her way down, taking him as much as she could, her tongue rolling against him, and Bucky moaned for her, moaned for Steve who was just barely fingering him while he placed wet kisses across everywhere Bucky was ticklish.

And then Peggy took her mouth off and blew, the sudden coolness and sharp sensation magnified way too much and Bucky screamed his hips jerking, desperately needing something to rub against, some diffused sensation.

Peggy laughed in delight and crawled on top of him, so he flipped her over and slid into her, both of them moaning and oh God she was warm and soaking, so wet for him and he growled a little and kissed her hard.

“Baby,” he started, and she nodded.

“Hard as you want,” she said, and Bucky groaned, and pushed himself up to kiss Steve, never forgetting him, never ever.

“Goddamn,” Steve swore, and kissed back harder. “I get you after, okay?”

Bucky moaned his agreement, and turned his attention back to Peggy, pulling almost all the way out of her before snapping his hips back in, making sure--

“I want this,” she demanded. “You won't hurt me Bucky, I want this.”

He bent his head to kiss her deeply, and, well. They'd made love so many times, but this was fucking and it was dirty and raw and she rolled her hips up to meet him every time, bit his mouth, demanded he take his pleasure, and he growled and made her cry out, bit her neck when she scratched his back, and fuck, wished he could have lasted longer but it was over far too soon as he came inside her, hard, muffling a scream.

He slid out and saw she was still panting – well, easy enough slide down her body, biting and kissing as he went, and go down on her and he could taste himself in her and fuck, fuck, his cock twitched and it hurt and she must have been just on the edge because it didn't take long for her to moan and shake under him, Steve's fingers helping Bucky's mouth as they held their girl together.

Peggy was still gasping for breath when Steve slipped a finger into Bucky, having found the lube somewhere, and Bucky gave a little cry, leaning back into it. “Please, please, please...”

“I'm not going anywhere,” Steve soothed, a second finger joining the first and the burn was so good. Steve was so good.

“C'n I be on my back?” Bucky asked softly. “Wanna see you.”

“Of course, baby,” Steve said. “I want to see you too.” He scissored his fingers and Bucky keened, just on the edge of a little too much, and then Steve was helping him roll over and was lying between his legs, cock just at his entrance.

Bucky moaned a little, and began to shake when Steve slid in, this was all too much, but not in a bad way, it was in a way that meant he felt alive, that meant he spread his legs as wide as they could go for Steve, that meant they fucked hard and made the bed shake, Steve pumping his hips and Bucky taking it until it really was almost too much, and then Steve came, shaking and with the soft, surprised cries he sometimes gave, like the orgasm was unexpected.

Bucky made a sad noise when he felt Steve slip out of him, and quickly found himself with both lovers on top of him, all three of them lying together, not even moving, just still and calm, breath going back to normal.

“So, that was amazing,” Bucky said conversationally, when he was pretty sure he could string words together again.

“We are amazing,” Steve announced, and Peggy just laughed, rolling over to lie on top of Bucky, snuggling into his arms.

“You okay, precious?” Bucky asked softly.

“Mmmm. Wonderful,” she sighed, and petted his chest. “You?”

“Eh. I'm okay.” Bucky laughed at the look she gave him, and kissed her tenderly. “You promise I didn't hurt you?”

“I promise,” she said. “Not in any way that I didn't want.”

Bucky nodded and turned his head to nuzzle Steve's hair a little. “Check in with me.”

“Happy,” Steve said. “Loved. Love you both. Very...happy.”

Bucky giggled, and closed his eyes, sighing heavily and loving every bit of soreness about him. “We have a great excuse to break that bathtub in now, darlings.”

“Mmm. Someone else start the water,” Peggy yawned. “I'm not sure I can move my legs.”

“We can nap first,” Steve declared to the universe, and Bucky didn't argue.

It took awhile, but they did, eventually, break in the bathtub.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to put this up a day early, because I can.
> 
> PSA: I have a start on the next chapter, but it's not fully written. I'm starting a new gig this week which promises to be fulfilling but physically exhausting, so I'm not actually sure when the next chapter will go up. So, going forward, I'll post chapters as I finish them; it could be two weeks, it could be four days. But the last chapter is fully written!

“What're you guys doing on Saturday?” Peggy called from where she was curled up in the big easy chair. “Please say you're free, please say you're free?”

“I'm free?” Bucky said, clearly bemused. “Are you getting spring fever or something?”

“Better. My ex-girlfriend is coming to visit,” Peggy said gleefully, and Steve's head popped up from where he'd been lying in Bucky's lap, getting a scalp massage.

“Angie?” he asked, and cheered a little when Peggy confirmed. “Yes! Bucky, you'll love her. She's completely awesome.”

“She'll fit right in,” Bucky allowed, and pulled Steve back down onto him. “What d'you want to do, love?”

“She's only got a few hours free – lunch and hanging out?” Peggy asked. “It's nice out, we can go to a park or something.”

“That'll be great.” Bucky caught her eye and smiled at her. “Peggy, how exactly did I not know you dated women too?”

Peggy laughed, her eyes sparkling such that his heart hurt in the best way. “It never came up? I mostly prefer men, I guess. Angie's the only woman I've dated.”

Bucky blew her a little kiss. “I can't wait to meet her.”

 

“You remember Steve, and this is – this is our Bucky,” Peggy said, introducing him to Angie.

“Hi, it's awesome to meet you,” Bucky said, shaking Angie's hand.

“You too!” she said, and squeezed his hand warmly. “Peggy won't shut up about you, it's great to finally meet you in person.”

“Aw, Peg,” Bucky threw her a very pointedly doe-eyed look, and held out his arm to Angie. “C'mon, I know where the best table is.”

She slipped her arm into his, giggling, and they led Steve and Peggy to a quiet little corner table, out of the way of busy brunch crowd.

Angie and Steve fell into conversation, catching up on some mutual friends they'd had from the neighborhood, and Bucky took the chance to rest his hand on the small of Peggy's back, tickling just a little. “Hey you. Masculine pronouns are fine. As is calling me your boyfriend, love. Even when I'm all enby, that's fine.”

Peggy smiled, and leaned into him a little bit. “I know. But 'boyfriend' doesn't feel right. You're more than just a boyfriend, Bucky.”

He paused, a little stunned, then leaned in to kiss just under her ear. “Oh, Peggy.”

“Dork,” she murmured back, and squeezed the top of his thigh. “We'll come up with good words soon enough. Until then, you're my Bucky.”

“I am entirely okay with that,” he said, and they smiled at each other, silly and understanding, and then Peggy got pulled into Steve and Angie's conversation, and Bucky settled back in his seat, more than content to watch them all.

They didn't let him be for long, though, Angie bodily moving to plop down beside him, putting her legs up on a spare chair. “So, you're the one that stole my girl's heart.”

“Steve did it first,” Bucky said quickly. Lover, schmover; he had absolutely no qualms about throwing Steve under the bus. Angie was terrifying. Fun, but terrifying.

She just laughed, though. “Yeah, but we both thought Steve was it. You must be quite something.”

“I damn well try to be,” Bucky said, more seriously than he'd intended.

“You are,” she assured him. “I really have heard everything about you, honey.”

“In that case, tell me about you?” Bucky requested, and gave her his most charming smile, the one that made the corners of his eyes crinkle.

She did; telling him how she'd met Peggy waitressing, and how she was trying to make it in Hollywood now. A stupid dream, yeah, but she didn't care, and Bucky decided he didn't care either, because he was sitting beside the sweetest, friendliest person he'd ever met. She chatted happily about her work, and he drew a few stories about Steve and Peggy when they first met out of her.

“Oh, God, you should've seen Steve – he looked like a drink of water,” she said, rolling her eyes. “All knees and elbows and nervous as hell around Peggy.”

“You say that like that's not a wise response to her presence,” Bucky pointed out, and she laughed.

“Point. And he didn't actually fall on her or anything,” she teased, as Bucky groaned. Of course Angie knew that stupid story.

“I managed to damage only myself?” he tried, and Angie laughed and gave him a nudge.

“Oh, come on, it ended fine. Romantic, even. Anyway, so Steve was this useless gangly-ass thing, but he was wild about her from moment one. It was adorable.”

“I can imagine,” Bucky said, his face lighting up. “How fast did they fall for each other?”

“Like, within days,” Angie confided. “Although Peggy will tell you it took longer. But I was getting texts and calls every day for weeks so she could tell me what Steve looked like that day, the tattoos he'd given her, how the tats were healing, you name it.”

Bucky laughed, and just managed to keep himself from clapping his hands in delight. “I knew it. I fucking knew it.”

“Uh huh.” Angie leaned in, and so did Bucky, and they both ignored the photo Steve took of them in favor of gossip. “Now, I don't know how Steve felt, but I get the sense he was in love from moment one.”

“Definitely,” Bucky agreed. “One hundred percent.”

“How about you?” she asked, giving him a little nudge. “Did you know?”

“Honestly, no,” Bucky said. “I mean, they're both stunning. And I guess I had a bit of a crush, but it was pretty clear that we'd just be friends, so I tried to ignore it and...be friends.” He smiled shyly. “It probably helped that I was accidentally a massive asshole to Steve after we'd known each other barely at all.”

“Hey,” Steve said, frowning. “Bucky, no.”

“Bucky, yes. I was a dick.”

“No more than I was,” Steve insisted, reaching out to take Bucky's hand. “Christ, love. Don't tell me you feel bad about that still.”

“Not, like, every day,” Bucky protested. “But, yeah. I was horrible to you.”

“We just...didn't understand each other,” Steve finally allowed, a funny expression on his face. “I wasn't blameless myself.”

“You were hurting,” Bucky said stubbornly. “No, you didn't understand, but...neither did I.”

“Better now,” Steve said, rubbing his thumb across Bucky's knuckles. “You understand, now.”

“So do you.” Bucky was only mildly ashamed of the sappy look he gave Steve. Mildly.

“Oh my God,” Angie groaned. “You're too adult and healthy and understanding. Ugh.”

Bucky laughed and turned back to her. “I promise, it's been hard-won?” he offered, and Angie rolled her eyes.

They told each other stories until Angie had to go to catch her train. She hugged Bucky and Steve goodbye; Peggy had volunteered to walk her to Grand Central for no other reason than a bit of time to catch up, just the two of them. Bucky kissed them each on the cheek and made Angie promise to visit again soon, and returned to the outdoor table, now for just him and Steve.

“You're right, she's fantastic,” he confided, and Steve laughed.

“She's awesome,” he agreed, and pushed Bucky's coffee towards him. “Here,”

“Thanks.” Bucky took a long sip, eyes closing at the bitter flavor. “Umm. Anything we need to get done this afternoon?”

“Nope. Drink coffee and hang out?”

“Yup.” Bucky smiled at Steve over his mug. “We sorta lost that a little bit, I guess? Living together and all.”

“A little,” Steve agreed. “It happened when Peggy and I moved in together too. We just got used to each other.” He smiled a little, and reached for Bucky's hand. “When you came along...it was like dating her again, too.”

“Oh, babe...” Bucky squeezed softly. “Good.”

“I want to take you both out soon,” Steve said. “Something where we can get all dressed up and be ridiculous. I've got that huge piece that'll bring in more than enough for a treat...”

“Stevie, I don't need treats,” Bucky protested.

“The hell you do.” Steve smiled shyly. “Your life day is coming up.”

Bucky winced. “Yeah. I just...look. I can't give it up. I'm so sorry, but I won't be hurt at all if you just can't that day. I don't understand,” he admitted. “I don't think I can, love. Mom won't talk to me, maybe ever again, but she's still alive, you know?”

“Her fucking loss,” Steve muttered, and smiled wryly when Bucky kicked him a little. “Sorry. Look...I don't know,” he finally admitted. “I don't know how I'll feel. If I have to leave halfway through, or if I'll be fine. I really don't. But you know I love you, right? And that I'm...” he paused, and swallowed hard. “Fuck. I'm so grateful, every day, that I've got you.”

“I know,” Bucky assured him gently. “I promise, I know.”

“Damn well better,” Steve said, voice only a little rough.

They let silence fall then, just sitting together, holding hands and drinking coffee. Steve's hand was twined with Bucky's metal one, and he was idly tracing the seams of the plates with his thumb, an automatic little tic.

Bucky closed his eyes, smiling in the summer warmth, the hum of the city around them, Steve's hand that he could just feel in his, warm and strong. Peggy would come find them and they'd play in the city all day, then go back to their little apartment and make dinner together, and cuddle and maybe watch a movie, and it was going to be wonderful.

“What the hell is that?” Steve said, voice flat and alarmed, and Bucky opened his eyes and looked up as a hole opened in the sky, and silver humanoid creatures swarmed out, falling – no, riding – to earth. Thousands of them fell, and then they opened fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want you all to remember that I love you all very much :)
> 
>  
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Finally!
> 
> I'm starting to get my groove back; I promise I haven't forgotten you all. Or this story.

“Get down,” Bucky said fast, pulling Steve out of his chair, trying to shield him, protect him from the sky and what, what was this? It wasn't a clear September morning, this wasn't supposed to happen. Not this feeling again. 

They heard the sound of gunfire, though didn't see it – somehow they'd wound up away from any of the creatures, but Bucky cringed at the sound, tried to cover Steve's body a little more, at least his head and torso, that was the worst, right? Yeah.

“What the hell are you doing?” Steve hissed at him.

Bucky just gave him a look.

“Peggy,” they both said, and rose as one, running, following the street she had walked down not even an hour earlier. They were so close, she would be walking back, they would have to run into her. They would have to. Not finding Peggy was not an option, as far as Bucky was concerned.

They weren't the only people running towards the sounds of destruction, but they were in the minority, and had to dodge around a steady stream of terrified people. One woman, clutching a toddler, ran straight into Bucky.

“It's okay,” he said quickly, and rested his hands on her shoulders; he could feel her trembling. “It's okay. You're running to safety.” 

She nodded hard, eyes wide and bright with fear.

“You run and take cover,” he said gently. “Keep the little one safe, okay?”

This seemed to break through, and she nodded, her breathing a little easier, and took off running.

Steve just stared, and Bucky stared back, and they took to the street. It was less crowded, and it wasn't like anyone was driving anywhere.

“What the hell are they?” Steve hissed as they ran, and Bucky gave him a dirty look.

“Like I know?”

“I know! I just...what the hell?” Steve looked sick, and Bucky reached out, grabbed his hand, and they moved together, and Bucky tried so hard not to think about how they were running towards the sound of destruction. Peggy was that way, so that was where they went.

“Fuck!” Steve yanked him hard to one side, the two of them barely avoiding a chunk of falling building, and Bucky closed his eyes tight, and remembered to breathe. 

“Are you okay?” Steve called, and Bucky looked over to see a few teenagers cowering against a car.

“No!” One of them shrieked, and Steve started over when one of their group stood up.

“Just scared,” he said, stance calm. “I've got them.”

“Military?” Steve guessed, and the boy nodded.

“They don't seem to be there,” Steve said, pointing back from where they came.

The boy nodded again, and started rounding up his friends, an arm around the shoulders of the girl who'd panicked when Steve asked if they were okay, and Steve and Bucky moved on.

“It's going to be all right,” Steve said stubbornly, and took Bucky's hand again, and again they ran. There were fewer people now; they weren't dodging through crowds like they had a block ago.

Or rather, there were people, but they weren't moving, and Bucky didn't look too carefully beyond that.

“Get down!” Steve roared, and something in his voice made Bucky get down, following instinct, crouching where he stood and Steve raised an abandoned, broken car door over them somehow, some kind of protection from whatever he saw above them.

There was an impact, and Bucky would remember, for the rest of his life, the raw cry Steve gave when his arm absorbed the brunt of the force, the way he could hear the bones break. Everything was in slow motion, even though the world rushed around them. Bucky had seen, he'd known what Steve was trying to do, and he just wasn't fast enough. Not this time, and now Steve was hurt and he shouldn't have been. He should never have been.

“You idiot!” Bucky yelled, as whatever it was bounced off and away. He pushed the door away and knelt by Steve, afraid to touch him. “You fucking moron, let the guy with the metal arm handle that shit!”

“No,” Steve said, and glared.

“For fuck's sake,” Bucky growled, hands still hovering over Steve's arm where he clutched it against his chest. “I can take it, you can't.”

“Hey, is that the Mark VI arm?”

Bucky looked and Iron Man was floating above them, because of course he was. Sure. Why the fuck not. Silver creatures rained from the sky, his boyfriend was hurt from protecting Bucky, and Iron Man, Tony Stark, was hovering over him.

“Yes,” he said, because it was.

“Yeah, uh, for the record, let him do the heavy lifting,” Iron Man advised Steve, and then tilted his head to one side. “You...should probably get that looked at.”

Steve gave him a very eloquent look.

“Right, sorry, sorry. Look, you two good to rescue yourselves?”

“Yes,” Bucky said, moving a little closer to Steve.

“Good, good. You take care of that. Wouldn't want to have to send Captain America after you.”

“Who?” Steve asked, and looked up when Stark pointed. Bucky could just make out a figure, wearing some ridiculous costume and with... “Wings?”

“Wings,” Stark confirmed. “Big ones. Light ones. Very strong. Like everything I make. Hey, you're Bucky Barnes, right? I remember you. Conference. Few months ago.”

“Uh. Yes?”

“Yeah, if we all survive this, get in touch, I want to offer you a job. Hugely impressed by your work on firewalls. Excellent paper. Pepper said to hire you.”

“Okay,” Bucky said, because what else was there to say as Tony Stark flew away and destruction continued to rain down. And Captain America soared above them, taking out creature after creature, but they still came though the hole in the sky. 

Bucky tried not to remember smoke and silver against a blue sky; look how that had ended, all those years before. He tried so hard not to remember, to react to the present. 

“Bucky,” Steve said, and they started off again, not running this time, but not going slowly either. Steve held his arm to his chest, face white with pain, but he didn't slow down. Bucky kept one arm around Steve's waist, like that would do anything. But it was comforting, his warm lover just under his hand; Steve was there and he couldn't think beyond that, not until he knew Peggy was with them and safe.

“Steve!” 

Both men turned, and oh, oh, it was okay. Peggy was there, stalking down the middle of the street, looking absolutely furious, and without one hair out of place. She was fine, she was perfect, and Bucky moved toward her without even thinking.

“Oh, for fuck's sake,” Peggy said, and turned, lifting a metal pole she was carrying and bringing it down on the head of one of the silver humanoids. It went careening away – Bucky saw that it was riding some kind of flying sled-thing – and Peggy turned to take another one out before continuing down the street.

“Oh my God,” Steve said, rather worshipfully, and Bucky didn't disagree.

Peggy's face creased with worry though, as she saw Steve clutching his arm, and she started to run, concerned, when she stopped and staggered suddenly, strangely, in the wrongest way possible.

Bucky blinked, everything moving in slow motion, as Peggy looked to her shoulder, twin blooms of blood there, and she fell to her knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember still that I love you all very much. And there's a happy ending.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD FIIIIINALLY.
> 
> I am so, so sorry you guys. It was a crazy summer, full of a shitty end to a relationship/friendship and a very fulfilling, very hard job and now it's over finally and I can write again. I promise the rest of the story will not have, like, an entire baseball season between chapters.
> 
> And a slight warning: I found myself getting a lot of 9/11 feelings while writing this chapter, to the point where some bits were quite hard to write, and one character does make a reference to that event. Some readers may find the real-life echoes difficult or disturbing.

The sound that came out of Steve, watching Peggy collapse with one hand to her shoulder, was something that Bucky tried hard not to remember, which didn't keep it from featuring in his nightmares for the rest of his life.

Steve reached her first, his huge body shielding her, holding her so close that Bucky could barely see even once he was kneeling by them.

“Steve, Steve, let me see,” he said, quiet and easy as he could, which wasn't very. “Love, darling, let me see you,” he tried on Peggy, and she turned wide, too-calm eyes to him. “There we are, sweetheart,” he murmured, and Steve moved the inch or so needed. Bucky carefully ignored that Steve moved so that he was sheltering them both now. 

Peggy's shoulder was seeping blood; steady but not threatening to bleed out, thank God. He made a pad of one end of her scarf and wrapped it tightly as best he could, and smiled at her. “God, you're a sight for sore eyes, Pegs.”

She laughed at that, and leaned her forehead against his. “Are you hurt?”

“No. Steve is, though.”

“Not really! Not badly,” Steve protested, and glared back at both of them. “I'll live.”

“So will I,” Peggy confirmed, and Bucky helped her stand up. 

“Angie?” Steve asked, and ducked at the sound of an explosion. More creatures, more destruction; Bucky shutt his eyes tightly for a just a moment, and then ran for the nearest cover.

“On the train and pulled away before this all set off,” Peggy said, hunching between them, all of them taking cover in an alleyway. “She'll be worried, though.”

“She won't be the only one,” Bucky said, thinking of his sister. And...his parents? Probably not them. But Becca, yes. He'd have to find a way to get word to her once he was safe. If he survived, of course.

Bucky swallowed hard, and determined to survive. The world had gone quiet while they hid, and he went to the entrance of the alley to check – they couldn't be far from safety, right? Iron Man and this Captain America were containing the creatures. He hoped.

“Bucky?”

He looked up at the familiar voice, and was...not actually all that surprised, to see Natasha. She took out a stray creature while he was looking up, reaching behind her and electricity flowing from her wrist to send the silver thing tumbling to earth where it lay still.

“Nat?”

She bit her lip, and looked...scared, Bucky finally decided. She looked afraid, which frightened him more than anything else.

“Are you okay?” she asked, voice clipped.

“Yeah,” he said. “Go kick some ass. We'll talk later, okay?” He smiled for her, his best smile, and she nodded.

“Get to cover,” she advised. “Go east, we're driving them west.”

“Will do.” Bucky said. “Hey Nat?”

“Yeah?”

“Be careful, okay?”

She gave him an appropriately dirty look, and then sped away, taking the air-sled thing for her own use. Of course.

Bucky rubbed his eyes. East, right. Take his lovers and go to safety. It was quiet here, for the moment, but Nat was right. They needed a safe place until...this had to end eventually, right?

He called to them, and they started making their way through the wreckage that had been a New York City block. At least there were no bodies here; none that Bucky could tell for sure, anyway. 

They walked through wrecked, deserted streets, entirely alone for two blocks, then rounded a corner to find a small swarm of people.

“Not that way,” said a man at the head of it. “It's not--” he was cut off by an explosion that had Bucky flattening himself over Steve and Peggy, squirming so their heads were under his torso.

Steve was already swearing as he wiggled out from under Bucky, and Peggy stood up, whirling around to look. No one had been hurt directly, though a woman now had blood coming from one ear.

“The subway!” Peggy called out, heading for the nearest entrance. “Like the Blitz!”

“During the war,” Bucky said, picking up her reference and starting to herd people to follow Peggy. “People took cover in Underground stations, we'll be safe if we go deep.”

Sounds of fighting grew closer, and Bucky hurried people along, helping friends who were carrying a third, a petite woman with a nasty gash on her side. He and Steve made sure everyone was filing below, that they knew to take cover, and Bucky turned around one last time to check for stragglers.

“That's everyone,” Steve confirmed, and they turned to go down the stairs when another huge sound sent them diving down, this one closer than before.

Bucky yelped when he felt something cut into his leg, had an impression of a huge shard of metal, and then was all but falling down the steps as Steve hauled him under cover, to safety.

They descended to the station itself, mostly empty but for their small group. Peggy was moving among it, making sure people were comfortable, getting patched up if they needed it with what supplies were available.

Between Steve and adrenaline, Bucky got halfway down the platform before he stumbled and fell, the agony in his leg too much.

“Fuck,” Steve swore, and yelled for Peggy. “Fuck, no, no.”

“It'll be fine,” Bucky said distantly, looking down at the deep slice into the meat of his leg. There was a lot of blood. “Well, these jeans won't be, but that's okay.”

“Trust you to think of your clothes first,” Peggy said, and knelt down, trying to hold the edges of the wound together with her good hand. “Steve, see if you can find anything we can use to stanch this,” she said, and her voice brooked no argument.

Steve looked at her bleakly for a moment, then rose to beg a scarf, a spare jacket, anything from the people who'd taken cover with them.

“I'm fine,” Bucky insisted, even as he started to go dizzy. He was fine, he would be fine, he'd survived worse. There was no need for the look on Steve's face, he thought, as darkness swarmed up, and then there was nothing.

 

If he came to, he never remembered, not until he opened his eyes slow to see Steve hunched over in a plastic chair, his arm heavily bandaged and in a sling, and his head bowed. Bucky wondered if Steve had fallen asleep – fuck, it must be late, or the next day? Or something? 

And then he realized Steve was praying and if it was possible to burn off whatever drugs he was on, the soft darkness that still hovered at the back of his head, Bucky did so in record time. 

He pushed himself up and reached for Steve. “Hey,” he said, and his voice sounded like he'd been breathing glass for about a year but Steve's head came up and he made a raw sound, and then he was half on the bed and in Bucky's arms.

Bucky was gentle, careful, and held onto Steve with the sure knowledge that he wasn't going to let go anytime in, say, the next six months. A year at the outside. Or maybe ever. “Shh,” he whispered, “Shh, baby, I'm here, I've got you, I'm here now. Don't be scared, please.” He pressed his lips to Steve's hair, breathed in dust and sweat and reek and loved as hard as he had ever loved in his life.

“I've got you,” he repeated, and Steve's shoulders softened, just a fraction. “I'm okay,” Bucky said, and hoped it was true. Hell, even if he didn't have the same number of limbs he'd started the day with, he was alive and, you know, not hooked up to anything too serious, so it was probably okay. He'd make it be, anyway, no matter what. “Stevie, love, I'm okay,” he repeated, since this seemed to calm Steve the most. 

“Hey, let me get a look at my best guy?” he finally asked after a few minutes. Steve had grown heavy in his arms, his breathing easing. “Let me see you, gorgeous,” he repeated, and Steve pulled back a little. He was filthy and his eyes were red and Bucky smiled at him, his best smile. “You with me?”

Steve nodded, and rubbed at his eyes with his good hand. “S-sorry. It's...”

“It's been a slightly stressful afternoon, yeah,” Bucky said dryly, and was rewarded with a weak smile. Okay, so it wasn't his best material. “Peggy?” he asked, and swallowed hard. She wasn't there, and he didn't want to know, except where he did and she had to be okay. She had to, because there was no way the two of them could make it without her. 

Steve bit his lip. “She's quarantined. Everyone who got hurt by their weapons is. I...I'm not allowed to be with her,” he said, and Bucky nodded, because like fuck he would grudge the two of them supporting one another. “I'm probably not technically allowed to be with you,” he admitted, and smiled a little. “But the world's all upside-down. And I don't give a shit anyway,” he said, and reached for Bucky, careful of the IV lines going into the back of his hand, but curling their fingers together, his thumb soft on the edge of Bucky's fingers. “She's okay. I mean, so far.” He bit his lip. “The...the bullets? They missed anything important. Chipped bones, a little bleeding. But it's not bad.” He took a deep breath. “So far it's not bad. No radiation. No heavy metals nothing...nothing that'll hurt a human. They think.”

“That's good,” Bucky said softly, and squeezed Steve's hand. “She's tough, our girl.”

Steve nodded, and smiled. “Tougher'n you, by the way, Mister Transfusion.”

Bucky winced. “Sorry?”

“Damn straight. You almost died.” Steve lowered his eyes, and took a shaky breath. “You'll be okay, though. Lost a lotta blood, but you're all stitched up. The muscle in your leg – it got slashed bad, but you'll be okay again, everyone's said. They kept saying to tell you that you'll be okay, that you'll heal.”

“Of course I'll be okay,” Bucky said gently. “Hey, baby. What about you?”

Steve shrugged. “Broken arm, nothing bad. Gonna have to come back in a few days for a hard cast.” He smiled bitterly. “That's me not able to work for six weeks, though.”

“Hey,” Bucky said firmly. “We'll deal with it, okay? We'll be fine.” He squeezed Steve's hand. “I'm glad you weren't hurt worse.” He shouldn't have been hurt at all, but that was a screaming fight for another day.

Steve shrugged, and winced. “Yeah. Uh. Oh. You didn't...you were. Um. Asleep?” He looked up and met Bucky's eyes. “They're gone. The Chitauri, that's what they're called, and they're gone. Iron Man did a thing, with some portal, and they aren't gonna come back.” He smiled weakly. “We're safe?”

Bucky did not feel comforted, but he didn't expect to be. Nor did he expect to feel safe, oh, ever again. “That's...good,” he finally said, at a loss for anything else.

They looked at each other, mute, and were saved from trying to comfort each other by one Rebecca Barnes, who came flying into Bucky's room (well, his curtained-off area that was just bigger than the bed).

“Bucky,” she wailed, and Bucky was already sitting up, reaching out, when Steve wisely got out of the way so she could throw herself at her brother.

“Oh, Christ,” he breathed. “You're safe. You're okay, you're safe Becks. You're okay.”

“You're not,” she growled, and pressed herself closer, folding in against Bucky as much as she could.

“Hey, hey,” he murmured. “'Course I am. Or I will be. Ain't going anywhere, you gotta know that by now.”

Becca hid her face in his shoulder, and he just held her, rocking a little until she calmed enough to cry properly.

“He's okay, I promise,” Steve said, rubbing her back. “Nothing a little time won't fix, honey. I promise.” 

Becca coughed and nodded, pulling back enough to look up at Steve. “You're hurt too,” she said reproachfully, and her eyes widened. “Peggy...”

“Is also hurt, but not badly,” Bucky said quickly. “Honest. She's quarantined, but she'll be fine.” He smiled wryly. “Better'n the two of us, anyway.”

Becca nodded and scrubbed at her eyes. “You know I'll be there to help, right?” she asked the two of them, the expression on her face making it clear that this was an informative statement, not a question.

Bucky smiled and squeezed her shoulder. “I'll put my dinner order in shortly,” he teased, and she gave him a very dry look. “Jesus, everyone's a comedy critic today.”

“Just for that, you have to call Mom,” she told him. “She's freaking out that she can't get to your phone.” 

“I guess it got lost or something,” Bucky said slowly. “But...she really wants to hear from me?”

“Yeah,” Becca said quietly. “She really does. I can't promise you she's changed her mind, but she was real scared, Bucky.”

Bucky took a deep breath. “I'll call her when I can. And hey. How'd you find me?” he asked.

“There's a hotline, they told me you were here,” she said, her voice wavery again. “Tony Stark did something with satellites so it's not even too bad to make calls or go online or stuff like that. It's not like 9/11. Not in that way,” she corrected herself, and Bucky took a deep breath.

“That's good, I guess. Um. Where am I?” he finally asked, and was puzzled when Steve smiled.

“Brooklyn,” he said. “You're in Brooklyn. We are. They took us practically home,” he said, and laughed, because what else were you gonna do?

“Least the taxi won't be expensive?” Bucky offered, and smiled weakly. “Steve, we're not leaving without Peggy.”

Steve nodded; such words didn't really need to be said.

The time passed slow after that; Steve and Becca rearranged themselves so that Becca got the better chair and Steve could hold Bucky's left hand with his right, thumb tracing the thin joins between metal plates over and over. Becca ran to the pharmacy to fill both their prescriptions, and Bucky dozed a little, opening his eyes to see Steve sitting there, grubby and exhausted and alive, whenever he wanted to.

Becca had just come back with coffee for herself and Steve when the curtain around Bucky's bed stirred again, and Peggy stuck her head in, sweaty and with her hair a mess, and perfect and stunning. She moved a little carefully, but crammed into the tiny space with all of them. And immediately get enveloped by Steve, his arm coming around her, gentle where her shoulder was heavily bandaged, her arm in a sling to mirror him. He held her close for long minutes, and Bucky just watched, as though he could join them just like that.

She wiggled free gently, and went over to him, and he gave her the best smile he could manage, even though he was pretty sure he'd started crying. “Pretty Peggy-O,” he managed, and she laughed and framed his face with her hands, and kissed him tenderly. “Christ, I needed this,” he said, pulling her as close as he could. If Steve got a few minutes, he could take his time.

“Me too,” she breathed into his ear. “Bucky.”

Bucky just held her, quiet now, both his lovers with him, his sister safe and whole. It would be okay again someday. It would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People really did use Underground stations as bomb shelters during the Blitz. (Peggy seems to have forgotten about [Bank Station](http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/london/hi/people_and_places/newsid_9357000/9357545.stm) though.)
> 
> Also, please forgive me if I totally leave canon and the Battle of New York in this; I didn't want to add another barrier to writing the fecking thing by having to triangulate exactly how the fighting moved across Manhattan. 
> 
> I am, as ever, on Tumblr at dietraumerei.tumblr.com.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The penultimate chapter! No matter how sad you are, I am sadder.
> 
> There will be more stories in this 'verse. Oh yes. I've got like five of 'em already sorted out. Nothing as long as this, but there's plenty more where these guys came from.

After that, everything sped up. It took a little begging on Bucky's part, (“I have three people in this room who will help take care of me, and it's not like you don't need the bed.”) but he was reluctantly released with crutches, orders to keep weight off the leg for a few days, and an appointment to come back for a check-up within the week. Within an hour, he promised to take it easy, instantly violently hated the crutches, and was standing outside of the hospital while Becca flagged down a taxi. 

It was already dusk, the sun setting low over the city. Steve had his arm around Bucky's waist, for support and warmth, and it was easy to lean into him, rest his head a little on Steve's shoulder.

The drive home took place in silence. Blessedly, the cabbie had the radio off, and the process of moving through Brooklyn's quiet streets, sad and deserted in the long low light, blurred together with the pain of getting up the stairs to their apartment.

Bucky made a beeline for their big bed. He was filthy and needed a good wash (sponge baths were apparently in his immediate future, since he'd been threatened with dire consequences should the dressing on his leg get wet) but the bed smelled like the three of them, was messy and welcoming and he tried not to cry as soon as his head hit the pillow. He really did.

Peggy found him first, then Steve, the two of them twining around him, totally careless of their own injuries because they were idiots, which he informed them of, and he loved them, which he also informed them of.

“Idiot yourself,” Peggy whispered, and kissed the tip of his nose. “Never scare me like that again.”

“Same to you,” Bucky told her, pressing a little closer. He closed his eyes, and shivered when Steve's arm tightened around him. “Both of you.”

“Not sorry,” Steve said, his face pressed to Bucky's shoulder. “Never sorry I protected you.”

Bucky sighed but didn't argue. This time. 

Becca had gone out to try to find dinner for all of them, and he was so tired. He really should at least get himself up and wash his face but that felt overwhelming at the moment. Enough so that he dozed while Peggy and Steve (but mostly Peggy) wiped him down and got him into clean clothes and then, from the sound of things, washed each other down. He woke up enough to help Steve take his arm off, then lay back on pillows that had mysteriously all migrated to lie underneath and around him.

“Don't think you're going to spend all your time taking care of me,” he informed them. “Gimme a day or two and I'll be shoving you two around.”

“You just think that,” Peggy cooed, and laughed at the look he gave her. “Budge up, Steve wasn't supposed to give you all the pillows.”

Bucky leaned forward, shifting so they could share, and he laid his head on Peggy's good shoulder. “Hope Becks gets back soon. I'm hungry.”

“Mmm. Hey.” Peggy gave him a little nudge. “D'you want to call your parents?”

“No,” Bucky said, and made a face. “But I should. What about yours?”

“Already taken care of,” Peggy said promptly. “When I first arrived, and got put with everyone else who was shot. Um.” She flushed. “They said we should...reach out. To our families. Just in case.”

Bucky felt not unlike he'd just been punched in the gut at her words. Peggy gone, taken by the Chitauri, Peggy saying goodbye to her family...

“Barnes.” Her voice was sharp, almost angry. “I'm not dead.”

“No,” Bucky said distantly. “No, you are not. Ow!” He glared at her when she pinched him. “That's not funny.”

“It's hilarious. It has to be, Bucky, or we're all proper fucked. You know?”

“I know,” he said, still feeling breathless, but Peggy was here glaring at him and Steve was in the next room and they were alive. “You are shit at the Blitz spirit, by the way.”

“You just figured this out?” Steve asked, coming in with a bowl of popcorn to tide them all over until Becca came back. “Have we reached the inappropriate humor portion of the day, then?”

“No,” Bucky said. “Because I have to call my parents and see if they give a fuck I'm still alive.”

Steve sat down on the bed and cupped his good hand around Bucky's cheek, fixing him with a stare that was, all things considered, way too much but Bucky was half-high on vicodin and bad jokes and hunger and didn't care. “Listen to me,” Steve said carefully. “If they cannot find it in them to love you after coming so close to losing you, I am done with them. I can't tell you what to do, but if you want to be done with them, I will support you completely. Bucky Barnes, you deserve better.”

Bucky nodded mutely, and closed his eyes when Steve leaned in and kissed him softly. 

“Oh, Steve,” Bucky said, his voice low and raw. He knocked their foreheads together softly. “You're so dramatic. Thank you.”

“You can even use my phone,” Steve said, and handed it over, lying down so that his head was pillowed on Bucky's unhurt thigh.

Bucky dialed the first number he'd ever memorized, and waited, letting it ring twice, three times, then stop. 

“Hello?”

“Mom? It's Bucky.” He swallowed hard. “Becca said you wanted me to call.”

His mother made a soft sound. “Is...are you all right? She said you were...there.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine,” Bucky said, and returned Peggy's glare. “I got hurt, but it'll be okay.”

“That's...that's good,” she said, and her voice grew firmer. “Good.”

“Steve and Peggy will be okay too,” Bucky said, because fuck it, they were important to him.

“Ah. That's good to hear.” She went quiet for a long time. Then, “Thank you for calling me, Bucky.”

“Of course.” Bucky swallowed hard. “I didn't...um. I mean. Yes, of course. How...how are you and Dad?”

“Us? We're fine. We were...afraid. For you and Becca, when we saw the news.” Another long pause. “Do you have everything you need?” 

He was home in his bed with his beloveds, and it sounded like Becca had just come home, which meant dinner, which meant...yeah. Yeah, what more could he ask for? “Yes,” he said, and hoped she heard how much he meant it.

“Good. That's good, Bucky. I'll let you go now. Thank you for calling,” she said formally, and Bucky's heart sank a little. It could have been worse, he supposed. 

“Bye, Mom,” he whispered. “Um. Tell Dad I said hello.”

“I will. Bucky...call me again, and let me know how you're doing?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course Mom. I'll call you in a few days, okay? I lost my phone, but this is Steve's number, you can always reach me on it,” Bucky said, and he was only babbling a little bit because, fuck it, he missed his mother.

“Okay. Thank you. Take care of yourself,” she said, still formal but...well. There was hope, there, for something better.

“I will, I promise,” Bucky said, and they said their goodbyes, and he gave the phone back to Steve.

Becca had come in, holding a stack of pizza boxes against one hip, but stilled when she saw Bucky on the phone.

She raised an eyebrow when he hung up, and he shrugged. “She wants me to call back in a few days, so, you know. Could've gone worse.”

Becca snorted, but kept her thoughts to herself.

Steve did not. “Could've gone better,” he muttered, slipping his phone into his pocket. “Jesus Christ on the cross.”

“Anyway,” Peggy said, sitting up and crossing her legs. “Dinner. Thanks, Becks, what do we owe you?”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Becca scoffed, and they rearranged themselves to make room for both Becca and the pizzas on the bed, all four of them polishing off dinner in very short order.

 

Bucky was particularly proud when he managed to stay mostly awake until a decent hour for bedtime. They checked the news sites, briefly, but found nothing new, other than an interview with Tony Stark and Captain America, aka Sam Wilson.

To the surprise of none of them, there was already backlash against a black man (veteran though he may be) acting a symbol for the country, but even Steve was too tired and heartsick to get very vehement.

Becca was allowed to leave only after she swore up, down and sideways that she was fine taking a taxi (“A nice taxi,” Bucky informed her in his I'm Your Brother voice. “None of that UberX shit tonight.”) to get home, and would text Steve and Peggy the instant she got in.

“And I'm coming by tomorrow to check on you,” she informed them. “And call me if you need anything at all, okay?”

“Okay, okay!” Steve protested, and hugged her good-night. “Get some rest, okay? It hasn't been an easy day for you either.”

“I promise a lot of sleep will happen,” Becca said, and crawled onto the bed to say goodnight to Bucky.

He held onto her tightly, just for a breath longer than he usually would have. “Love you,” she murmured into his ear, way too soft for anyone to hear, and he nodded. Like they needed to make it explicit. 

“I'll walk you out,” Peggy said, slipping her arm around Becca's waist, and they left the bedroom.

Bucky stretched out carefully, and gave a little wiggle. “Take more pillows back, I don't need this many.”

“I'm fine,” Steve said quietly. “You keep 'em. Is your leg okay?”

“Mmmhmm. Well, I mean, no, but it's fine like this.” Bucky opened his eyes slowly. “Talk to me, Steve.”

“Nothing really to say,” Steve said, smiling weakly. “I don't think I'll sleep much tonight.”

“Okay,” Bucky said, and held out his hand. “Promise you'll stay close, though? And sleep if you can?”

Steve took Bucky's hand in his, but didn't quite meet his eyes. “I'll stay close, baby. I just...” He shrugged, and winced. “I don't want to sleep.”

“Nightmares?”

“No. I mean, yeah, we'll probably all have bad dreams, but it's more...it's dumb.” He sighed. “I wanna be awake to...keep watch. Protect you and Peggy.”

“Steve. C'mere.” Bucky drew him into his side, gentle with both their hurts. “'s not dumb.” He kissed Steve's forehead. “We're safe, though.” And they were. Sort of. Probably?

“I know, I just...”

“Hey, darlings.” Peggy closed the bedroom door behind her and crawled in beside Bucky. “Tell me I don't have to leave this bed for another week. At least.”

“Not gonna be a whole lot to do with the shop,” Steve said bitterly. “Fuck. I'm sorry, guys.”

“Hey. We take care of each other, that's part of the whole relationship thing,” Bucky said.

“He's got a point though,” Peggy said, sitting up and frowning. “We'll still have to pay rent. Steve and I have some savings of course, but it could be awhile before we reopen...”

Bucky yawned. “I can still work. An' I make enough to cover most of what we need.” He smiled, not bothering to open his eyes. “We'll go over the numbers tomorrow, Peg. I have savings too.”

“But you shouldn't have to--”

“What?” Bucky asked, a note of real annoyance in his voice. “Step in for the people I love? Take care of my household? I thought we were equals.”

Peggy was quiet, although her jaw moved, and Steve jumped in.

“Of course we take care of each other,” he said quickly, shooting a look at Peggy that Bucky, already half-asleep, didn't see. “Guys, we can talk money in the morning, I'm sorry I brought it up.” He pulled up the light comforter and made sure Bucky and Peggy were comfortable, leaning over to kiss them each in turn. “Love you, both of you.”

Bucky reached out and wrapped his arm around Steve's leg, snuggling down. “Love,” he mumbled, and immediately his breathing deepened.

“He shouldn't have come home so soon,” Steve murmured, combing his fingers through Bucky's hair. “He should be under observation, where people can take care of him.”

“Oh, shut up,” Peggy said, reaching over Bucky to tap Steve's arm. “He's just exhausted, poor love. Like the rest of the city.” She smiled up at Steve. “He's got us. We've got each other. You know what I mean.”

“You're so high,” Steve observed, smiling.

“I am not.” Peggy paused. “I am. But I'm right too.” She shifted a little, nudging closer to Bucky, and closed her eyes. “Stay close? Please?”

“Oh, Peggy.” Steve leaned over Bucky carefully and kissed her, lingering, the two of them sharing breath while the city was eerily quiet outside. “I'm not moving, I promise.” He stroked her hair, still lank and filthy and they could deal with that tomorrow. He was more than a bit useless, but Bucky could wash her hair and brush it out shining and wavy the way she liked it.

Steve kept up the gentle motions until Peggy was fast asleep (and Bucky was snoring softly and oh he was fucking gone because who smiled at the way someone snored? Steve did), and he could turn on the little bedside light and read through the night. There was no fucking way he was going to sleep. Not that he'd be a lot of use with only one arm, but still. This way he knew.

It was an eerily quiet night; everything not quite right. He checked the news on Bucky's iPad regularly – nothing new. Nothing from those who had been injured by the Chitauri, and whatever they had used didn't leave any kind of unusual trace. More interviews with Tony Stark. A world turned only a little upside-down; there were aliens, yes, but now there was a need to rebuild too.

Bucky had a nightmare in the deep hours of the night, his breath coming faster, and he made soft, sad noises that broke Steve's heart.

“You're safe,” he tried to soothe, rubbing Bucky's back. He was still curled around Steve's thigh, close and warm.

Bucky's eyes opened slowly, but they were calm and clear, and he smiled a little. “Hey. Everything okay?” he whispered.

“Yeah. You were having a nightmare, though,” Steve murmured back, brushing a few strands of hair out of Bucky's face. 

“Mmm. Don't remember it.” Bucky yawned and shifted to abandon his pillow entirely for Steve's thigh. “Y'okay? Need anything?”

“No, baby. And if I did, I wouldn't ask you,” Steve said, only half-teasing. “Everything's okay, Bucky, you can fall back asleep.”

“Nnn. Why're you up?” Bucky asked, and yawned enormously.

“Can't sleep.” Steve frowned when Bucky winced and shifted. “Do you need anything? More painkillers?”

Bucky shook his head, then paused, and nodded, hiding his face a little in Steve's leg. “'m sorry...”

“Shhh. Nothing to be sorry for,” Steve chided. “I don't even have to get up, love.” He'd filled a big water bottle before bed, and found Bucky's little amber bottle quickly. 

Bucky pushed himself up and took the little pill. He rested his hand on his leg, and breathed deeply.

“Bucky?” Steve put his good arm around Bucky's shoulders. 

“Nothing. Just hurts.” Bucky smiled tightly. “You'd think I'd have a higher pain threshold after everything.”

Steve frowned at that, and bent over a little to kiss Bucky's left shoulder, where there were scars. “Did it hurt that much?” he asked quietly.

“Sort of. When I was...sick, yes, my arm hurt,” Bucky said carefully. “Then I was very heavily drugged. Since then, though -- phantom pain. And you've seen it when the feedback is bad, or I get cramps.”

“Doesn't mean you're automatically invincible,” Steve argued. And then, more gently, “Anything I can do?”

Bucky smiled halfheartedly, and rested his head on Steve's shoulder. “No. I dunno. Just stay with me, until I can fall asleep again.”

“What is with you people and thinking I'm letting either of you out of my sight?” Steve wondered aloud, and was rewarded with Bucky laughing softly and pressing a little closer. 

“Point. Hey, help me lie down?” Bucky asked. It was probably him being indulgent, but Steve was not going to argue because it meant that Steve could fuss to his heart's content until Bucky was prone again, his head pillowed on Steve's legs, his eyes all sleepy and easy again. And then fuss a little more.

“You wake me if you need me,” Bucky ordered, and Steve snorted.

“The hell I will. Sweet dreams, Buck.”

Bucky smiled, pinched Steve hard, and fell asleep more or less immediately.

Steve envied him a little; he was exhausted, but still couldn't bring himself to sleep. Not until dawn broke and, against all logic, the sun rose. 

He'd felt the same after his mother died; how could the world carry on? But, of course, it did, and after a little bit of time, it wasn't so odd for the sun to rise and set. It wasn't so odd to meet a woman, fall in love, and marry her. And it wasn't so odd to meet a man and fall in love with him, too. The world kept going, and Steve kept going with it, whether he wanted to or not.

After Bucky's nightmare it had been a quiet vigil, and finally Steve lay down and let his eyes close. He still couldn't be sure they were safe. He wasn't entirely certain he'd ever feel like they were safe again. But the sun was rising, the world kept going, and he could curl up a little at Bucky's back, shoving a pillow under his arm in a vague nod to the ache there, and drift off while the world lit up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for your comments and kudos!
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand we're done! Those of you who avoid WIP's -- have at it!

“Coming!” Bucky called, swinging himself the last few feet to the door and opening it. He was allowed to put weight on his leg, a little bit, but this was still the faster way to move. Even if he did violently hate it.

Natasha stood, framed in the doorway, her face more inscrutable than usual.

“Hi,” she said, her arms tight around her waist. “I wanted to drop by.”

“Nat.” Bucky just stared for a moment, since the _last_ time he'd seen her she was running into a battle with aliens, many of whom she was fighting. Hand to hand. With way fewer weapons than Bucky was comfortable with. _“Nat_ _asha_.” He pulled her into the apartment, into his arms, hugging her tightly. She was still petite and strong and his Natalia and she was all right.

“Bucky!” She laughed though, and hugged him back, though more gently. “Hey, hey. It's okay.”

“Yeah, it is,” he said into her hair. “Oh, honey, it's really good to see you.”

“You too,” she said, and he _had_ been about to let go but hugging her was awfully nice. Bucky had a wild guess that Nat needed a hug. Or, if she didn't, he certainly did.

He did eventually pry himself away and let her in properly. “Steve and Peggy are out,” he apologized. “Just me holding things down. D'you want some coffee or anything? I just filled the French press.”

“Coffee would be wonderful, and I'll get it,” she said. “You, sit.”

“It's not that bad, by the way.”

“Yes it is. Well, was.” Nat smiled at him, but pointed to the sofa. “ _Bucky_.”

“God, you're all a pain in my ass,” Bucky grumbled, but sat (a little gratefully, he had to admit), while Nat got her coffee. “Do I want to know how you knew I'd been hurt?” he asked when she reappeared and curled up next to him on the sofa.

“I could tell you but I'd have to kill you,” Nat said.

“Tell Becca I said hi next time she calls you,” Bucky said.

That got her to crack a smile. “I will. It was Sam though.”

“Damn, he was...okay, like, my tenth guess,” Bucky admitted, and poked her in the side. “Are _you_ okay?”

“I'm fucking untouchable and you know it,” she bragged, and he pinched her.

“Yeah, yeah. Seriously, Nat.”

“I'm fine,” she said, face softening just a bit, just for a moment. “Honest. How're you?”

Bucky shrugged. “Okay. At worst, I might wind up with a slight limp, but that's pretty unlikely. I'm doing okay. We all are.”

“Good.” Nat did that thing again where she hugged herself, and Bucky's heart broke.

“Hey,” he said softly. “What's wrong, honey?”

“I'm sorry I couldn't tell you...what I did. What I do,” she finally ground out.

“Be an Avenger?”

“Among other things.” She looked up and met his eyes. “I didn't lie about anything to you, I swear. I just...didn't tell you some things.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Natasha, you came here to apologize for having a highly-secretive job? I _knew_ that already.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Unless you're here to poison my coffee because I found out part of what you do, we're fine.”

“Barnes, if I wanted you dead I wouldn't have gone to all this trouble,” Nat said, almost absent-mindedly, but she was smiling so she was probably joking? “You seriously don't care?”

“I seriously don't care. Nat, you've _never_ talked about your work. It's okay.” Bucky gave her a little nudge. “Thanks, by the way. For saving our collective asses.”

“It was a team effort,” she said quickly. “Thanks for...not dying?”

“It was my pleasure,” Bucky said smoothly, and laughed. “For fuck's sake, Nat, you're one of my closest friends and I barely know anything about you. I take people as they come, you know that.”

“Ugh, be all well-adjusted,” Nat grumbled, and frowned when Bucky went quiet. “What?”

“I'm worried about Steve. I mean, I'm worried about all of us,” Bucky admitted. “I keep having nightmares and Peggy's scared although she won't admit it but I also trust the two of us to work through it. Steve...he's wearing himself out. He's terrified and keeps trying to protect me and Peggy and he _won't_ do anything about it.”

Nat frowned. “You're right to worry.”

That Steve couldn't do anything if the Chitauri returned remained unsaid.

“I'm afraid for him,” Bucky said quietly. “I just want him to feel safe again, and know that Peggy and I are right here, and we're safe too.”

“But you're not,” Nat said bluntly. “I mean, you are in a sense, but I'm not going to lie to you. The trick is to pretend that you're safe so much that you might as well believe it.”

Bucky swore, and Nat just looked at him, calm and implacable. “Fuck,” he said. “I know you're right, but Nat, we gotta pay the bills down here in normal-people land. And my lover is a mess, and I'm worried about him. Practicalities, you know?”

“Bucky, I am the most practical person you know.” Nat sighed. “Look, it's been what, like a week? Give it a little time. I don't blame Steve for freaking out.”

“ _Neither do I_. I just want him to also get enough sleep, and enough to eat, and not look at me like I'm a gift that's going to get stolen away at any second.”

“Bucky, you almost bled out in his arms from what I hear. I'd worry if he _didn't_ look at you like that.”

Bucky paused, and reviewed what she said. “Natasha, are you here to be _mushy_ at me?”

“No!”

“You are!” Pure glee settled on him and he nudged a little closer on the sofa. “Natasha Romanov, you were _worried_ about me.”

“Possibly.” She mock-glared at him. “It's your own stupid fault.”

“How?”

“Somehow!” She groaned and shoved him away. “Don't touch me.”

“Aw, no,” he cooed. “Oh, my Natalia. You needed a little cuddle, because I got hurt and you had to come check on me.”

“Bite my entire ass, Barnes.”

Bucky laughed, but pulled her into a genuine hug, not particularly caring that she crossed her arms and didn't hug back. She didn't pull away, or stiffen – good enough for him. “Oh, darling. I'm fine. I swear. I'll be a little limp-y for a bit, but I'm here and I'm fine.”

Nat didn't say anything for a long time, but she might have pushed further into his arms. Just a hair.

 

 

“Hey sweethearts,” Bucky said softly, sprawling at the foot of the bed so he could face Peggy and Steve both. “D'you have a minute?”

Steve smiled wryly at him. “I've got about four more weeks.”

Peggy shot him a glare. “Oh, bite me, Rogers. Yes, Bucky, we've got a minute. What is it?”

Bucky took a huge deep breath, and looked at them both. Right. Yeah. He was definitely doing the right thing. “Okay. So, I swear I had this planned out _before_ the Chitauri thing, but...well, anyway. Now it's even more right.”

Steve leaned over a little, touched Bucky's knee. “What is it, Buck?”

Bucky smiled, forgetting the carefully-rehearsed words. They were dumb anyway. “I love you both so much. You're it for me. I want to spend the rest of my life waking up with you, _living_ with you. I guess we covered in sickness and health, for richer and poorer pretty well, and we can't legally get married, and I don't know that I'd even _want_ to step all over this beautiful thing the two of you have, but I did want to ask, formally – will you both be my partners, for the rest of my life?”

Steve was stunned, Bucky was pretty sure, his eyes gone huge as he froze in place. Peggy though – Peggy was already reaching for Bucky, pushing into his arms, her good arm coming up to hold him tightly.

“Yes, yes, yes,” she said, over and over. “Oh my God, yes.”

Bucky laughed and hugged her back. “My girl. I love you.”

Peggy made a choking sound, and reached for a long, almost desperate, kiss. “I love you, darling.” She laughed and turned around. “Steve? You okay?”

Steve visibly shook himself, and reached out, cupping his hand around Bucky's face. “You really want us – me – for life?” he asked, voice cracking.

“For as long as we both shall live,” Bucky offered, and Steve crumbled and threw himself at Bucky, who somehow managed to catch him, he and Peggy both covering Steve's face with kisses, soothing and loving on him.

“Yes,” Steve breathed. “God, Bucky, yes. Yes, yes, yes, I love you, be a part of my life _forever_ , yes.”

Bucky laughed, and wiped his eyes, kissing Steve, then Peggy. “I have rings...” He made to get up, and stopped at Peggy's glare.

“If you don't stay off that leg, I shall tie you to the bed, and not in a fun way,” she threatened. “Where are they, love?”

Bucky laughed, and cuddled a little closer to Steve, who didn't seem ready to let go anyway. “Why does every other phase of our relationship begin with you threatening me over taking care of myself?” he asked.

“Because you need it,” she replied, and her face was lit up, the giggling, silly, wonderful Peggy he'd fallen for. “Where is my new jewelry, Barnes?”

Bucky laughed, and stretched out carefully on the bed, leaning into Steve's right shoulder. “On our dresser. Look in the black lacquer box – there's a little envelope in there.”

Peggy flipped open the pretty little box, and pulled out the envelope, rejoining her lovers on the bed. “Here. You open it.”

“You know it's hilarious and ironic that I'm the only one here with two working arms, right?” Bucky said, and grinned when she glared at him. “Well, it is.” He opened the envelope, and spilled out three thin rings, beautiful beaten silver. “If you hate them, we can absolutely get something different,” he assured both of them. “Don't be shy about telling me.”

Steve smiled, and touched the shiny things. “They're beautiful, Bucky.”

“What he said,” Peggy agreed, and kissed his cheek. “So thin, though! You deserve something bigger, more beautiful.”

Bucky laughed, and bumped noses with her. “I saw them and just knew they were right, somehow. And I don't want to detract from your wedding bands or anything...”

“Bucky,” Steve said seriously. “You are as important to me as Peggy is. This relationship, this thing with the three of us – it couldn't ever detract from our marriage. Just add to it. Make it better.” He reached for Peggy's hand, pulling her a little closer. “There's no greater or lesser after this, okay? Three equals. If Peggy's my wife, you'll be my husband.”

And, oh, fuck, there were the tears, because Bucky didn't expect that word to go straight to his heart like that. He didn't expect one dumb word to _mean_ so much.

He totally expected the way they both fell over themselves to hold him, kiss him, tell him he was beloved, of course he was, he was their damn husband, wasn't he? And Bucky looked at Peggy and reminded her she was his wife now, and had the great pleasure of watching her lose it too.

“Oh my God, we all deserve each other,” Steve deadpanned, and Bucky giggled, and set the rings down carefully on the envelope.

“Right, I want to do this properly. Peggy, you first,” he said, and picked up the smallest of the rings. “Steve, you've actually had practice at this before...”

Steve laughed, and they managed to hold the ring together and slip it onto Peggy's finger, nestled next to the simple gold band.

“Steve next,” Bucky said, and kissed Peggy when he saw her hand was shaking too hard to hold the largest ring with him. “Hey, beautiful.”

“Hullo,” she said, and took a deep breath. “Right.” Hand completely steady, she and Bucky carefully slid the ring onto the third finger of Steve's left hand. Bucky ran his thumb over Steve's knuckles, brushing the edge of the hard cast, the arm his husband had broken protecting him.

“Oh, love,” he whispered, and bent over to kiss the ring, the poor battered arm, revelling in his husband and wife who were ridiculous and _his_.

“Hey, we've got one more,” Peggy said, poking him in the side, and he sat up and held out his right hand.

“Please?” he asked. “I want to feel it. All the time.”

“Bucky, of course,” Peggy said, and Bucky watched them slide the thin band home onto his finger, and it was done. They had chosen each other, and there was kissing, somehow all three of them kissing at once, shoved so close together, and Bucky didn't cry. Because everything was all right now, everything fit. They all fit together, and he had come home.

 

_Five Years Later_

 

“Oh, that would be Mummy – you can tell from her heels, you know? Also she doesn't sound like twenty elephants stampeding when she comes up the stairs,” Bucky narrated to his daughter, carrying her into the living room to meet Peggy. “See? Told you. Papa's brilliant like that.”

Peggy laughed and kissed Bucky hello. “Are you teaching our daughter how to be sneaky?”

“Um, obviously?” Bucky said, and handed the baby over to Peggy. “There we go, you're so happy to be back with your Mum, aren't you?” he said, and Sarah did in fact snuggle happily into Peggy's arms, a thing which would never stop being completely amazing. “How was your day, love?” he asked, putting his arm around Peggy as they walked over to the sofa.

“Long. But fun,” she admitted, settling down in Bucky's arms and slipping her t-shirt up. Bucky helped her with the tricky nursing bra, and rested his head on her shoulder, cuddling close and watching Sarah feed. He'd been awed by the simple act since the first time she'd latched on, and his love of watching Peggy feed their daughter never left.

“Good,” he said, and kissed her cheek. “Steve's got a run of customers, by the way, but he'll be up for dinner.”

“Mmm, good,” she sighed. “What are we having?”

“Lasagne okay?” Bucky asked, and she nodded, relaxing a little more into him.

“God, I love having a househusband,” she said, and turned to kiss his cheek. “How the hell do people do this with only two parents?”

“I have decided that single parents are actually saints,” Bucky agreed. “I can't even begin to imagine this without both of you helping me.” He gave Peggy a little squeeze. “We had an awesome day, too. At least six people hit on me at the park, and we learned to point at squirrels and Sarah is the reigning neighborhood champion at chewing on her own feet. She's the best baby in the world.”

Peggy laughed, elbowing Bucky at the getting-hit-on comment. For some reason, holding a baby turned him into single person catnip. She'd once witnessed someone try to get his number while she stood _right there_. It was hilarious.

They had a whiteboard to track who was winning, and Bucky had twice as many tick marks as she and Steve put together.

“She's totally the best,” Peggy agreed, running a fingertip along Sarah's cheek. “You are, aren't you sweetheart? Mummy and Daddy and Papa definitely think so, and we're always right.”

Bucky smiled, and might possibly have dozed a little, Peggy resting in his arms, only waking up when Steve checked in, taking the ten minutes between customers to have a little family time. More kisses, more cooing over Sarah, who had finished eating and was very happy to snuggle up in Steve's arms, yawning in his face when he kissed her little nose.

“I am the best Daddy,” Steve said wryly, and Bucky laughed at the look on his face.

“You totally are,” he said, and meant it. He and Peggy relied more or less on the fact that they loved Sarah more than either had ever thought possible, but Steve was _transcendently_ good at parenting. It was a skill previously unknown to him, but he'd taken to fathering obscenely naturally.

Steve smiled at that, and kissed Sarah again. “Hello, miss. I'll have you tomorrow, okay? And we'll have stupid amounts of fun and make Papa and Mummy jealous, and it'll be great.”

“Yeah, well, Papa has to wake up early and go into town, so it's a pretty low bar to hit,” Bucky said, stretching out a little and watching Steve play grab-my-finger with their baby girl, while Peggy went to go start a load of laundry. “How's work going?”

“Pretty good, got a full calendar on Friday too.” Steve looked up and smiled at Bucky. “How's your ink healing?”

“ _Itchy_ ,” Bucky complained. “But good. Thank you, again.”

“Yeah, it was a real hardship. Hey, c'mere.” Steve moved so that he could put his arm around Bucky too, and they could hold her together. “There, that's better.”

“Much better.” Bucky traced a tiny, perfect shell of an ear, and smiled when Sarah grabbed at his fingertip, shrieking with joy. She _loved_ his metal fingers, and Bucky had finally, reluctantly, admitted how much that meant to him. Steve and Peggy had just given him exasperated looks, but he definitely noticed a bit more cuddling over the next few days, and Steve kissed his left shoulder more often than usual.

Peggy came in and sprawled on Steve's other side, and they had a good two minutes of real family time before Sarah needed changing and Bucky had to pull dinner out of the oven and Steve only really had time to bolt a piece of garlic bread before his next client and this, this was _everything_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help it. I had to go full Happy Ending.
> 
> Thank you thank you thank you so much, everyone! Your comments and kudos mean more than you know, and really helped keep me motivated :)
> 
> Finally I can start putting up all my companion stories -- some have appeared on my Tumblr, some never seen before. This 'verse is in no way finished!
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


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